your smile
reminds me of seashell.

it’s pretty
beautiful, actually.
you may think
it looks like every other seashell  
but it doesn’t.
your seashell is special.

i want to keep it
all to myself.
but i know it’s selfish to
find a beautiful seashell
and take it, keeping it
locked up on a shelf.

it makes me feel
like i’m home.
that seashell reminds
me of all the times
i’ve spent in the place
i love the most.

but when you look
inside
it’s completely hollow.
there’s nothing behind
that seashell.
it’s sad just how empty it is.

my highs are so high
unbelievable
and truly captivating
they almost make me forget


that my lows
are
so
low

he was like a cigarette

bad for me
even though it feels good
and i knew i shouldn't
but i took a drag

and just like that

i'm buying packs
every other day
and smoking whenever i can
i feel my lungs
crying and begging me to stop

but i can't
i can't stop
i can't stop loving him

the thing about love
is you don't realize
until you do.

and once you do
it's all you do.

when he kissed me
the other night
the only thing i could think
was how much more
i wanted to be kissing you

move on
  move on
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                                                            mo­ve on
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                                                              ­move on
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                                                              ­                                              i can't

and no it won't always
be easy
there will sometimes be hard days
but you will get through them

im sorry for hurting you
i never meant to
but i did anyways and
i cant take it back.
hurting you hurts me more than anything.
im sorry.
im sorry.
im not asking for your forgiveness or understanding.
im just sorry.
and i wish i could tell you this.

i think its pretty funny
how the poems i hate the
most
are usually the ones that
succeed the most.

Last night I dreamt
That You were here with me
That You left that girl
And realized I was The One
For You.
You kissed me
And I swear, for a moment
It felt real.
So much passion could not
Just be a dream.
But seconds later I woke up
And I checked my phone
Only to see that she posted a picture
With You.
I laid back down and
Closed my eyes,
Because that's when I realized,
My dreams are the only place
That You and I are together.

whenever i write
i have to write the title last.
i am never sure where
my story is going to go
and i don't want a title
holding me back from writing
whatever i want.
i guess sometimes
people don't realize just how
limiting a title can be.

do you ever feel
like you messed something up so bad
that for a minute it doesn't feel real
but then you remember the feeling you just had
you hurt someone in a way they can't heal
and you can tell they're very sad
and you really wish you didn't have to deal
with yourself because you're too mad

it's pretty ironic how you
call it a crush
i used to think it was due
to that feeling you get, the rush.

when just thinking of him makes
you blush and feel
butterflies. you dream of him and it takes
waking up to remember he is actually real.

hearing his name
can make you smile
like nothing else. trying to tame
that feeling will take a while.

when he sees you and gives a smile and wave,
you feel extremely happy.
and that moment you will save,
despite it being sappy.

but then you see him one day
with somebody new.
he looks at her in the way
that you wish he looked at you.

you turn away because you can't bear to watch the rest,
and you swear you heard
your heart being smashed to pieces in your chest
and you realize that crush is the right word.

nothing will ever be the same
i knew it the moment i left
but even still i was surprised when i came
back and everything had changed.

i think it's pretty crazy, how
you can think about someone
for hours and the only word you can come up with is "wow"
because there are no words to describe them. absolutely none.
you know what i mean, you're thinking of them now.
they light up your world, even brighter than the sun.

it's even crazier that they may not even know
they have this effect on you.
they don't know that where ever you go
you think about them and everything they do.
you try to be discreet and keep it on the low,
but you hope maybe, just maybe, they're thinking of you too.

today i walked outside
i was walking around for a while
when i arrived at high tide
i had walked to the ocean, about a mile.

i saw a girl crying down by the sea
she tried to hold them in but the tears streamed down
and i tried to be as quiet as could be
as i walked closer, each tear enough to drown

i approached her and tried to ask "what's wrong?"
but the closer i got the clearer i could see
this girl who's face was tear stained and expression was long
was a reflection in the water, and finally i realized the girl was me.

people think of happiness
too much in terms of
a destination
and not enough
in terms of
a feeling

i hate that every time i see you
i think you feel the same
i hate that i think these scenarios could be true
i hate that i only have myself to blame

i hate that i build you up inside my head
i hate that your smile makes me feel high
i hate the words i still haven't said
i hate that i continue to try and try

i hate that i can't make you see me
in the way that i see you
i hate that no matter how hard i plea
you won't notice the things i do

but most of all the thing i hate
is the hold you have on me and
the simple fact that i would wait
forever just to hold your hand.

when i was little
i never even questioned love or if i would ever find it.
every princess always ended up with the prince
every story a happy ending.
now im questioning if
love even exists.

how are you supposed to feel
when you get
the worst news
and the best news
in the span of
five minutes

For the first time
In a long time
I cried.
I cried myself to sleep
And once I was done
I cried again
And again
Until I had no more tears.
It felt good
And bad.
And now I feel like
Crying.

i toss and turn.
in my memory, i feel you burn.
the look on your face
keeps me locked in place
i try to help, i try to scream
but i no longer can. now you're just a dream.

Recently I haven't been able to sleep.
There's no sound
not even a peep.
Except for that memory I found
deep in my mind, where it keeps
me up. It keeps me bound
to that moment and slowly seeps
out and my head begins to pound.
I slowly begin to weep
as I fall to the ground.

realizing that you mean nothing
to someone who means
so much to you
isn’t the worst feeling.
the worst feeling is
thinking they love you
as much as you love them
only to have them
turn their back on you
when you
needed them.
the worst feeling
is giving third
and fourth
chances to them
only to have them repeatedly
b r e a k
you. the worst is
having to continuously
tell yourself that it will get better
when it won’t.

that one moment
you wish you could take back
that moment you hurt the person
that cares about you
more than anything.
i wish i could
have that moment back.

i used to think of happiness
as a destination.
some place you got after
working really hard.

you might have to endure a lot
to get there
but once you arrived you realize
it was worth it.

it took me too long
to see
happiness isn’t a place.
it’s a feeling

and if you get absorbed in
the idea of finally
reaching a point where you’re always happy,
you never will be.

he was the kind of dream
that made you want to
stay in bed forever
even after you woke up
just thinking about it
over and over again

i'm tired of telling myself
"it will get better"
because i'm starting to live for the future
while the present just washes by
and i don't want to look back
and wish i just lived in the moment

it’s difficult
thinking of you
with her
and happy

it’s not that I don’t
want you to be happy
I do.
I just wish it was me who made you happy.

thinking of those long summer nights
when we were together
in a room full of people
but it always felt like just us two

I know it’s my fault
I should’ve said something
done something
to show you how I felt.

but now I sit in the same room
tank tops have turned to jackets
flip flops to boots
and you’re with her, not me.

I steal a glance
or maybe two
and you’re smile
makes me break.

i found a penny on the ground
yesterday at eight.
the night was quiet, no sound
as i took the bait.

i picked it up and said
"it must be my lucky day"
the confidence got to my head
as i went on my way.

i saw that boy, my crush
and he looked at me and waved.
i felt my cheeks start to blush
and that moment i saved.

i got home and saw my test
was finally graded online
i looked and saw i did the best
i had ever done. the "a" was all mine.

my friend called to tell me
she got tickets to my favorite band.
i smiled and screamed with glee.
then giggled and covered my mouth with my hand.

i couldn't believe what my lucky penny did for me.
a good day like this was so rare.
i was surprised when i checked my pocket to see
the penny was never there.

How can i live
Unpunished and full of
Regret after what i did
To

YOU?

the feeling you get when
you wake up really early
and drive with you friends
to the water to watch
the sunrise
and even though you woke up
at 4:30 am
you are not tired
because at the moment
all is good

its hard to believe in
something like love
when you watch the
people closest to you
fall further and further
out of it
every day.

he was a raindrop
that ran down your windshield
beautiful, but elusive
always in a hurry
and gone too soon

he was as bright as a star
he spoke endless dreams
he walked like the ocean
he smiled sunshine
he laughed like a bonfire
he dreamt in colors
he adventured like summer nights
his scent a field of daisies
and his warmth as soft as a puppy

he was everything
and more

im no cynic
but sometimes i
really do wonder
if love can really
last a lifetime