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667 · Dec 2019
Last Christmas
brinn Dec 2019
the cold air
can be seen
every time
we take a breath

my tears sting
as they race
down my cheeks
to soak into my scarf

my hand has
gone numb
and no longer had
yours to hold

Christmas music plays
jingling merrily
as my heart
shatters to the beat.

the words
dancing off your lips
hanging in the air
as if they were mistletoe

”i’m sorry”
i watch as you turn your back
and walk away
for the last time.
506 · Feb 2019
brinn Feb 2019
my highs are so high
and truly captivating
they almost make me forget

that my lows
391 · Feb 2019
brinn Feb 2019
he was like a cigarette

bad for me
even though it feels good
and i knew i shouldn't
but i took a drag

and just like that

i'm buying packs
every other day
and smoking whenever i can
i feel my lungs
crying and begging me to stop

but i can't
i can't stop
i can't stop loving him
344 · Feb 2019
brinn Feb 2019
the thing about love
is you don't realize
until you do.

and once you do
it's all you do.
314 · Jan 10
to: my heart
brinn Jan 10
i pick you up
and carry you along
you must weigh
about a thousand pounds
right now.

when people look
they can’t tell
that i’m using all my strength
to lift you up.

you’re hurting right now,
i know.
i am too.

you’re heavier than before.
but we’ll get through this.

we always do.
280 · Mar 2019
brinn Mar 2019
in the dark
all alone
it's the only time
i let you out
where no one
will see you
and your sounds
won't be heard
268 · Feb 2019
brinn Feb 2019
when he kissed me
the other night
the only thing i could think
was how much more
i wanted to be kissing you
233 · Jan 2019
brinn Jan 2019
and no it won't always
be easy
there will sometimes be hard days
but you will get through them
222 · Jan 2019
im sorry
brinn Jan 2019
im sorry for hurting you
i never meant to
but i did anyways and
i cant take it back.
hurting you hurts me more than anything.
im sorry.
im sorry.
im not asking for your forgiveness or understanding.
im just sorry.
and i wish i could tell you this.
222 · Jan 2
i can’t
brinn Jan 2
i wish i could say
what’s on my mind
but right now
i can’t even speak
197 · Dec 2018
last christmas
brinn Dec 2018
last christmas
we stood around the tree
and laughed and opened presents.
i didn't realize last christmas would be the last.
the last time we would sit in that house and eat and watch movies.
the last time we would smile at each other while
not worrying about our problems
for just that one day.
the last time
we would be a family.
the last time i would be happy.
the last time that we would all be happy.
if i had realized last christmas would be the last, i'd savor every
moment. every laugh, every bite, every
movie, every smile. i would
relive that day forever;
last christmas.
149 · Oct 2018
brinn Oct 2018
Last night I dreamt
That You were here with me
That You left that girl
And realized I was The One
For You.
You kissed me
And I swear, for a moment
It felt real.
So much passion could not
Just be a dream.
But seconds later I woke up
And I checked my phone
Only to see that she posted a picture
With You.
I laid back down and
Closed my eyes,
Because that's when I realized,
My dreams are the only place
That You and I are together.
148 · Jan 2019
brinn Jan 2019
i think its pretty funny
how the poems i hate the
are usually the ones that
succeed the most.
148 · Feb 2019
single word
brinn Feb 2019
all it takes
is a single word
from you
to make me smile
for the rest of the
126 · Jan 2019
brinn Jan 2019
today i walked outside
i was walking around for a while
when i arrived at high tide
i had walked to the ocean, about a mile.

i saw a girl crying down by the sea
she tried to hold them in but the tears streamed down
and i tried to be as quiet as could be
as i walked closer, each tear enough to drown

i approached her and tried to ask "what's wrong?"
but the closer i got the clearer i could see
this girl who's face was tear stained and expression was long
was a reflection in the water, and finally i realized the girl was me.
124 · Dec 2019
I know.
brinn Dec 2019
I know.
I’m naive
I’m gullible
I’m daydreaming
I’m out of my mind.
I know.

I know what you do to me.
But I don’t care.
As long as I get to be near you.
123 · Jan 2019
so bad
brinn Jan 2019
do you ever feel
like you messed something up so bad
that for a minute it doesn't feel real
but then you remember the feeling you just had
you hurt someone in a way they can't heal
and you can tell they're very sad
and you really wish you didn't have to deal
with yourself because you're too mad
125 · Jan 6
i miss me
brinn Jan 6
i miss me
which sounds stupid.
and i know that.
but i used to be different.
i used to have
ambitions and dreams.
i used to think
anything was possible.

i was happy.

and now i have
none of that.
i don’t even feel like a person.
i don’t even feel.
i used to be me.
117 · Mar 2019
not sure
brinn Mar 2019
how are you supposed to feel
when you get
the worst news
and the best news
in the span of
five minutes
115 · Jan 2019
brinn Jan 2019
when i was little
i never even questioned love or if i would ever find it.
every princess always ended up with the prince
every story a happy ending.
now im questioning if
love even exists.
114 · Jan 2019
brinn Jan 2019
i think it's pretty crazy, how
you can think about someone
for hours and the only word you can come up with is "wow"
because there are no words to describe them. absolutely none.
you know what i mean, you're thinking of them now.
they light up your world, even brighter than the sun.

it's even crazier that they may not even know
they have this effect on you.
they don't know that where ever you go
you think about them and everything they do.
you try to be discreet and keep it on the low,
but you hope maybe, just maybe, they're thinking of you too.
114 · Dec 2018
brinn Dec 2018
it's pretty ironic how you
call it a crush
i used to think it was due
to that feeling you get, the rush.

when just thinking of him makes
you blush and feel
butterflies. you dream of him and it takes
waking up to remember he is actually real.

hearing his name
can make you smile
like nothing else. trying to tame
that feeling will take a while.

when he sees you and gives a smile and wave,
you feel extremely happy.
and that moment you will save,
despite it being sappy.

but then you see him one day
with somebody new.
he looks at her in the way
that you wish he looked at you.

you turn away because you can't bear to watch the rest,
and you swear you heard
your heart being smashed to pieces in your chest
and you realize that crush is the right word.
110 · Dec 2019
brinn Dec 2019
it will never be perfect
and that’s something
i still need to learn.
perfect isn’t real.
if things were perfect,
we wouldn’t ever feel.
97 · Dec 2018
brinn Dec 2018
whenever i write
i have to write the title last.
i am never sure where
my story is going to go
and i don't want a title
holding me back from writing
whatever i want.
i guess sometimes
people don't realize just how
limiting a title can be.
93 · Oct 2018
brinn Oct 2018
For the first time
In a long time
I cried.
I cried myself to sleep
And once I was done
I cried again
And again
Until I had no more tears.
It felt good
And bad.
And now I feel like
92 · Jan 2019
brinn Jan 2019
nothing will ever be the same
i knew it the moment i left
but even still i was surprised when i came
back and everything had changed.
90 · Jan 2019
brinn Jan 2019
i toss and turn.
in my memory, i feel you burn.
the look on your face
keeps me locked in place
i try to help, i try to scream
but i no longer can. now you're just a dream.
86 · Mar 2019
every song ends
brinn Mar 2019
when i heard it, i stopped
it was breathtakingly beautiful
and menacingly painful
at the same time

the lyrics, a diary
the rhythm, a heartbeat
the notes were like waves, so steady and calm
the singer was like an angel, guiding me along

it made me smile
it made me cry
it made me laugh
and remember the good times

and just when i thought
the song was perfect
everything i wanted and more
that's when it ended
as every song does
82 · Mar 2019
inside out
brinn Mar 2019
81 · Jan 2019
but i can't.
brinn Jan 2019
that one moment
you wish you could take back
that moment you hurt the person
that cares about you
more than anything.
i wish i could
have that moment back.
80 · Jan 2019
right now
brinn Jan 2019
i'm tired of telling myself
"it will get better"
because i'm starting to live for the future
while the present just washes by
and i don't want to look back
and wish i just lived in the moment
79 · Jan 2019
10 things i hate
brinn Jan 2019
i hate that every time i see you
i think you feel the same
i hate that i think these scenarios could be true
i hate that i only have myself to blame

i hate that i build you up inside my head
i hate that your smile makes me feel high
i hate the words i still haven't said
i hate that i continue to try and try

i hate that i can't make you see me
in the way that i see you
i hate that no matter how hard i plea
you won't notice the things i do

but most of all the thing i hate
is the hold you have on me and
the simple fact that i would wait
forever just to hold your hand.
78 · Oct 2018
the worst
brinn Oct 2018
realizing that you mean nothing
to someone who means
so much to you
isn’t the worst feeling.
the worst feeling is
thinking they love you
as much as you love them
only to have them
turn their back on you
when you
needed them.
the worst feeling
is giving third
and fourth
chances to them
only to have them repeatedly
b r e a k
you. the worst is
having to continuously
tell yourself that it will get better
when it won’t.
76 · Jan 2019
brinn Jan 2019
you have no idea how
happy it makes me
just to hear
you say
72 · Jan 2019
brinn Jan 2019
people think of happiness
too much in terms of
a destination
and not enough
in terms of
a feeling
70 · Jan 2019
brinn Jan 2019
the words sit on
the tip of my tongue.
poison, begging to be let out into the world.
rather than open my mouth and
let the poison and the words
seep out into the world
i swallow them down
only allowing the toxicity
to exude further into myself.
69 · Feb 2019
brinn Feb 2019
he was the kind of dream
that made you want to
stay in bed forever
even after you woke up
just thinking about it
over and over again
69 · Jan 2019
No sleep
brinn Jan 2019
Recently I haven't been able to sleep.
There's no sound
not even a peep.
Except for that memory I found
deep in my mind, where it keeps
me up. It keeps me bound
to that moment and slowly seeps
out and my head begins to pound.
I slowly begin to weep
as I fall to the ground.
69 · Dec 2019
brinn Dec 2019
i used to think of happiness
as a destination.
some place you got after
working really hard.

you might have to endure a lot
to get there
but once you arrived you realize
it was worth it.

it took me too long
to see
happiness isn’t a place.
it’s a feeling

and if you get absorbed in
the idea of finally
reaching a point where you’re always happy,
you never will be.
65 · Jan 2019
brinn Jan 2019
d0 y0u ev3r
f33l l!ke y0ur
wh0le l!fe i$
ju$t 0ne g!ant
64 · Jan 2019
hurt you
brinn Jan 2019
How can i live
Unpunished and full of
Regret after what i did

63 · Feb 2019
brinn Feb 2019
he was a raindrop
that ran down your windshield
beautiful, but elusive
always in a hurry
and gone too soon
63 · Jan 6
brinn Jan 6
i’m sad
just kind of
not really sure.
i’m not sure
if i’m sad inside
or just out.
59 · Jan 2019
what i want
brinn Jan 2019
the feeling you get when
you wake up really early
and drive with you friends
to the water to watch
the sunrise
and even though you woke up
at 4:30 am
you are not tired
because at the moment
all is good
56 · Feb 2019
and more
brinn Feb 2019
he was as bright as a star
he spoke endless dreams
he walked like the ocean
he smiled sunshine
he laughed like a bonfire
he dreamt in colors
he adventured like summer nights
his scent a field of daisies
and his warmth as soft as a puppy

he was everything
and more
56 · Jan 2019
i wish i could
brinn Jan 2019
its hard to believe in
something like love
when you watch the
people closest to you
fall further and further
out of it
every day.
54 · Jan 2019
move on
brinn Jan 2019
move on
  move on
   move on
    move on
     move on
      move on
       move on
        move on
         move on
          move on
           move on
            move on
             move on
              move on
               move on
                move on
                 move on
                  move on
                   move on
                    move on
                     move on
                      move on
                       move on
                        move on
                         move on
                          move on
                           move on
                            move on
                             move on
                              move on
                               move on
                                move on
                                 move on
                                  move on
                                   move on
                                    move on
                                     move on
                                      move on
                                       move on
                                        move on
                                         move on
                                          move on
                                           move on
                                            move on
                                             move on
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                                               move on
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                                                 move on
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                                                   move on
                                                    move on
                                                     move on
                                                      move on
                                                       move on
                                                        move on
                                                         move on
                                                          move­ on
                                                           move on
                                                            mo­ve on
                                                             move on
                                                              ­move on
                                                              ­ move on
                                                              ­  move on
                                                              ­   move on
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                                                              ­                 move on
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                                                              ­                           move on
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                                                              ­                             move on
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                                                              ­                               move on
                                                              ­                                move on
                                                              ­                                 move on
                                                              ­                                  move on
                                                              ­                                   move on
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                                                              ­                                        move on
                                                              ­                                         move on
                                                              ­                                          move on
                                                              ­                                              i can't
sometimes no matter how many times you tell yourself you just can't...
54 · Mar 2019
only thing
brinn Mar 2019
i try to forget about all the bad things inside my head
and i focus solely on one thing
like sports or work or music

but then
when my team loses
or my shift is over
or the song ends
i break down
and i cry
and cry
and no one understands why

but that was all i had
that was the only thing keeping me standing
55 · Feb 2019
brinn Feb 2019
seeing you
makes everyday
the best day ever
53 · Jan 2019
lucky penny
brinn Jan 2019
i found a penny on the ground
yesterday at eight.
the night was quiet, no sound
as i took the bait.

i picked it up and said
"it must be my lucky day"
the confidence got to my head
as i went on my way.

i saw that boy, my crush
and he looked at me and waved.
i felt my cheeks start to blush
and that moment i saved.

i got home and saw my test
was finally graded online
i looked and saw i did the best
i had ever done. the "a" was all mine.

my friend called to tell me
she got tickets to my favorite band.
i smiled and screamed with glee.
then giggled and covered my mouth with my hand.

i couldn't believe what my lucky penny did for me.
a good day like this was so rare.
i was surprised when i checked my pocket to see
the penny was never there.
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