When I died, I arrived in Hell and there was a lesson that I quickly learned.
Satan is using a new kind of torture, people are no longer being burned.
It's a rotten, terrible and cruel thing for Satan to do.
Now he tortures people by forcing them to watch the new Doctor Who.
I did some really bad things while I was on Earth and now I'm in Hell because of what I did.
I'm being forced to watch the new Doctor Who and I can't look away or even close my eyelids.
I've always known that Adolf ****** was evil but I was wrong when I thought that he's tough.
He screams like a little ***** as he watches the new Doctor Who TV show, it's pretty rough.
While I was on Earth, I was a liar, a thief and a despicable ****.
Now I'd do anything if I could receive a blindfold and earplugs.
As I'm being forced to watch the new Doctor Who, I scream and cry.
I didn't know that such a bad thing could happen when a person dies.
I'll tell people on Earth how to avoid my fate instead of just giving them a hint.
They'd better be on their very best behavior because Hell has a new torment.

I'm proud of myself and I have something to say.
I quit smoking last year on the 3rd of May.
It was one year ago when I smoked for the last time.
When it came to spending money for tobacco, I haven't spent a dime.

I was coughing up phlegm and I quit smoking because of my health.
My uncle died of lung cancer and I didn't want to do that to myself.
Because I was able to quit smoking, I know others can too.
If you smoke but decide to quit, it will be an excellent thing to do.

While I was driving a Monster Truck, I ran over Mister Ed.
I accidentally ran over that talking horse and now he's dead.
Mister Ed said "F* you" to me with his final breath.
Millions of people are upset because of his death.

That horse let out a smelly **** before he died.
When his owner saw what happened, he cried.
Wilbur Post called Peta and that got me in a lot of trouble.
I was sued and the only lawyer I could afford was Barney Rubble.

I lost the lawsuit because Barney is stupid because he's from the Stone Age.
When I couldn't pay Wilbur ten million bucks, the cops locked me in a cage.
Please listen to my advice or you may go to jail and your spouse will get a divorce.
If you ever drive a Monster Truck, you'd better not run over somebody's talking horse.

A man who made Youtube videos has died.
On April 16, 2020, Steve Cash committed suicide.
He made "Talking Kitty Cat" videos.
All of his fans hated to see him go.

Steve suffered from a mental disorder and sadly, so do I.
He was Bipolar and everybody is having to say goodbye.
He died because of a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
He was only forty and the world lost him too soon.

Today is Talia Shire's birthday and she's turned seventy-four.
She starred in the Rocky and Godfather movies and more.
Talia Coppola was her original name.
It's not surprising that she found fame.

The Landlady was my favorite movie that she starred in.
She also gave great performances in Prophecy and Old Boyfriends.
When it comes to Talia, there are two things that I know for sure.
She is very talented and millions of people love and admire her.

You may find it to be amusing but I don't think it's one bit funny.
I have a twenty year old son who still believes in the Easter Bunny.
I tried to raise him to be normal but sadly, I was bound to fail.
He also believes in the Tooth Fairy and the Wizard of Oz as well.
When it came a tornado, he started singing "Over The Rainbow".
He thought that instead of being killed, Oz was where he would go.
Luckily, that tornado wasn't severe and no people were killed.
I've failed to convince my son that the Easter Bunny isn't real.
When he sees kids hunting Easter eggs, he says they were hidden by the Easter Bunny.
Will somebody please take my son off my hands, I'm prepared to pay a lot of money.
I'm scared of my son because he's obviously a lunatic and I don't know what to do.
Don't laugh, you could also end up with a grown son who believes in the Easter Bunny too.

I didn't die when I was struck by lightning but it was a terrible fright.
The bolt of lightning struck me in the head and gave me second sight.
I saw my neighbors daughter drown in a vision.
Her parents ignored me and it was a bad decision.
If they had listened to me, their daughter wouldn't have drowned.
They don't believe in second sight and their girl is buried in the ground.
Tears rolled down my cheeks when their daughter died.
I couldn't save that poor little girl even though I tried.
Some say I have a special gift but it's irritating when people don't believe.
When I'm ignored, bad things happen and misery is what people receive.
I told a man that I saw him being killed by a train and he flipped me a bird.
He told me to go to hell and he said that my visions are fake and absurd.
He tried to beat a train the very next day and it hit his car.
Because of ignorance, cemeteries are where two people are.
I just had another terrifying vision and it's about you.
You'll die in a plane crash and my vision will come true.
If you ignore me, you'll die but if you listen, you'll remain alive.
You better take what I say to heart or you won't survive.