I'm haunted by my mistakes
Every word venom in my mouth
they tasted bitter so I spit them out
and they hurt those around me
but I didn't care.
I dyed and cut my hair to play the part
of someone who moved on with an entirely untouched heart
it was blonde, then blue, green, and black
I cut enough off that you'd surely not come back
because you didn't like girls with short hair
I still don't care.
I'm haunted by my actions,
every move a cut deeper in my grave,
I hurt those around me in a viscious, Godly wave
Each time it crashed, I'd apologize, retreat
but would relapse, and get the same rush each time I would repeat
I'm haunted by that thought,
that I changed myself so much this year,
from gaining 40 pounds to starting to drink beer,
but I have not cleaned the cobwebs from my heart,
it's been 9 months and I am still torn apart.
Not from missing you, or heartbreak,
but from the repurcussions of these hideous mistakes,
the summer left those ugly scars that turn blue instead of white,
and I hurt too many people to even try to make it right
I wonder if I'll ever heal,
or change in ways inside,
because my hair is starting to break off,
with everything I use on it to hide