Can you feel the ache in my chest?
Can you touch the cracks in my heart?
Can you tell where my soul begins,
And where it's been torn all apart?

I'm made of sharp edges and pieces fit with super glue
Can you feel it?
I'm a heartless enigma and a soulless slice of truth
Can you feel it?
Enemies make the best friends and now I hate you
Can you feel it?

Lies are like a bullet to my heart, filling me with holes
A feeling of emptiness overwhelms me, a space too bold
Trying to hold on tight to a tangle too tied to unfold
Lost in a web of pain too damaged to be controlled

I'm made of broken glass, chipped and shattered
Can you feel it?
I'm an empty shell of something that once mattered
Can you feel it?
Pieces are falling, a love now bruised and battered
Can you feel it?

The harmony of injustice is ringing in my ears
A lullaby of sweet nothings and my childhood fears
A common trend unfolds, a chorus of chants and tears
A pain ripples through my body and the monster finally appears

Can you feel it?

I have a hard time believing in love,
yet I still choose to let the thought creep in the back of my mind.

I believe love makes people act in foolish ways,
they seem to forget that the world keeps spinning.

I don't want unconditional love.

I don't want to be loved in a way that isn't fair.
I don't deserve to get away with my ruthless flaws.

I need someone to tell me when I'm wrong.
I need someone to make me see that there's more than one way.

I don't need pity where it isn't deserved.
I don't want to hurt someone who has let me into their heart.

I need raw and honest love to keep me sane.

(-DF-05/27/16-)

a breaking point*
everyone has one, right?
a place where they can't go on
without an explosion of emotion
or just quitting all together

but where is mine?

where is my stopping point?
where i can rest my eyes
and feel ease
a point where i do break
and get everything out
because to get better you have to break, right?

maybe that point has left out
forgotten by a god i dont believe in
leaving me in a constant hurt
a never ending cycle of being left
with no escape or coping

where is my breaking point?
it must be sad
to read about someone who wants to break down
who wants to feel all the pain he has experienced at once
just so one thing can maybe last
just so some other emotion
that isnt a deep depression
can be felt for more than an hour or so

maybe i need to make my own point
need to scrape some time out of my schedule
to let myself explode
let it out
get rid of the space it takes up
so i can leave some for anything else

but thats not how it works
it comes on its own time
like a bird to its feeder
or death to take a soul

maybe
my breaking point will take its time
so slow its taking parts of me
as i try to survive

maybe
my breaking point will be death
that when my blood pools out of my body
those deep dark emotions
will flow out with it

no longer carried by me
but the mortal body
that is left here
leaving my soul the lightest of them all

a breaking point
no one said
that it has to happen when youre alive

It took me awhile to realize it isn't normal.
It isn't normal to be okay with getting hit by a car while crossing the street.
It isn't normal to be okay with not eating for days just because you didn't have time.
It isn't normal to wake up upset because you glanced at your body in the mirror.
It isn't normal for your dad to beat your mom because she didn't make the eggs right.
It isn't normal to bottle up your feelings because the bottle will become full.
It isn't normal take a blade to your wrists willingly so you feel a different pain.
It isn't normal to only get five hours of sleep at night because you can't shut your thoughts out.
It isn't normal to throw up your food in that public bathroom because you think your fat.
It isn't normal to sleep all day unless you're sick and throwing up from a flu.
It isn't normal to drink every night just so you can be sane for awhile in the meantime.
It isn't normal to let boys you don't like touch you so you can feel accepted.
It isn't normal to let that girl you're dating hit you because you said no.
It isn't normal to hate someone prettier than you because she didn't do anything wrong.
It isn't normal to want to die every time your heart breaks.
But it is normal.
It's normal to those people who live it everyday of their lives.
It's normal to those people who wish they could catch a break long enough to catch their breath.
It's normal to those people who regret everything in life to live for a moment where they might get to be proud.
Because our scars aren't only physical, their mental.
It isn't normal for everyone to understand.
But for those that do.
I hear you.