Eating and sleeping seem hard to do
Even getting out of bed
Getting off my phone
Trailing through social media trying to forget you
****** in
I forget
Thank god
Unlike moments like this
My mind filled with nothing but thoughts of you
What did we do
She believes in love
She believes in learning
Trying
And above all she believes in you
But a cracked heart can't hold together for too long
It freezes to hold stronger
Falling apart seems easier
But not better
It is sad
Sad that you haven't learned
Thankful that I have
You say love
But I could never believe you
You said forever
But quickly threw in the towel
Lust for others outside
Lust for holding onto your Pride
What about love
What we had or what I had for you
Trying is love
Relationships
Priorities
Laughs
Happiness
One cannot be happy in two if one is not
In hopes that we will have what we had
I was happy
I was in love
A roller coaster of emotions due to volnerability
I could never believe you
I loved and I would never do those things to you

With lust you are driven
In a mind full of ignorance
A simple deteriorating soul
Lost in depths filled with sin
Lies be seat you
Harm will move you
My anger indulges you
You will feel my wrath
As I stand back and laugh
For the pain you've caused has only bounced back
You will never hear these cries
I will never again honor your lies
I wish for nothing more than to be away from your sworns
With deep roots into a soul that has many lives to conquer back
You will be alone
Your souls to slap
For I will not be in thy arms
For I will not be at your waste
For your means to life and what you choose is very much far beneath mine
A materialistic fool
For everyone knows new money drools
You are such a dog
And id be shamed to dance with a counting hungry fool
My estates
My family
You will never be
For I can see the real you and me
There is no you
Only me.

My mother can't get here fast enough
I am falling into the darkest hole
A contemplation of being gone
Where to go and if I'll ever see you again is a constant reminder that I may never will
A constant reminder of who I am
Where I come from because being far from so long from my family is getting me cold and tired of living
I miss something that no longer exist in my presence as if they are of an ex partnership
Although they are who make me who I am
At a wedding
She dances with her father
I never get that chance
He's gone
And I'm sure others are in my place
Dancing with my father
Where are you
Why did you leave
If I go will you be there
God if there is one
Save me
Save me from this heartache causing influence to my morbid thoughts
My morbid thoughts of taking a life that exists to be with one that no longer exists
I'm so lost
Confused
If I cannot speak to someone I lie with
I cannot be with them
Openness is what I truly need
Someone who knows me
Someone who understands me
Someone who wants me for who I am
Inside

We're all fighting the same battle
Sometimes it's just nice to fight the battle with someone
Someone to stand by your side
Someone like a ride or die
Till death
This morbid mind sets in and now we all have been
Dis allusions
Gone
Drained
My mind is shredding as I imagine my eyes drained from my face with black holes left for distaste
If you only knew
Who I was
Where I came from
A complex soul
One like your own
A battle for years I hope you never have to hold
A soul lost from an entertained thought
Beyond this skull is mine ahead
For in space
It has made it's place
An infinite bond
Of thyself
Which is you need
But to love
That is the hard part
To love yourself
Begins with a smile
A grounded foot planted to where you stand
A hope in love
A faith in god
A choice to be like the others
Ignorance is bliss
I yearn to think like this
Calm
Content
Those who do not wonder for the skies
Those who do try to change
Those who do not think of what the words mean
Those who pass time with smiles
Pass time with ignorance
To the space
To the back of the soul
One million miles of infinite going
Back to you
Bounce happiness
It will come back bounce hope
You will receive
Anything you wish for
Anything you ask
Believe it
Want it
Ask for it
Receive

In the mind of a sinner
Only you have the right
To choose of happiness
To choose of worth
Some give away
Some stay away
From a deep hole that consumes us all
For an addiction
The strongest of all
We have noted
It's a choice
A choice to rise or to fall
With every step we take another twig will break
Stepping
Choosing
The lust or the love
They are not the same
Nor are they in the same
Besides what could be used to want
But no one wants lust
Lust is superficial
Love is a feeling
A choice to do unto others as you wish to be done to you
A feeling you give to receive the same
A hope
A dream
We all came from the same thing
These stars
This air
We breath the same
Have respect
Have the decency
Have the love you wish to hone

I feel hunger
Have no taste
Food does not appetize
You do
I feel hunger
I do not want to eat
For to be full on something other than you seems untrue
Can I be
I feel misery
Hungry
They say I am thin
I feel huge compared to them
Could it be
This heavy soul
That consumes me
My insides growing and blooming
Over the lust I have for you
Food does not appetize
In the daze to come
You will want more
But feeding without feeling cannot be ignored
My lust growing
Like a **** inside
My organs yearn for the food I choose to hide
For the food would take up too much space
If feeling was consumed a grace from above would give me my taste
The food would be good
But feeding without feeling cannot be ignored
Please may I have some more?