That laugh,
shakes like the demolition it's encasing.
Constantly used to hold back screams.
Used to reassure people shes fine.
A smile plastered on her face accompanied by
the laughter she practiced and mastered.
An artist of emotional controversy.
She is a mastermind of biting her tongue-
coming to terms that her silence is golden.
When you hear her, hold on tight to her words.
She will drill right into and past your heart
directly into your bones.
Her finely composed hostility will stay with you
forever.
That smile that could crack diamonds
never falters.

I feel myself being pulled in every direction.
I don't know what to do anymore.
The girl who has all the answers
is breaking under the microscope.
I realized the other day that I lie to myself
more than anyone else.
"Everything is fine.. I'm fine.. really don't
worry about me.. how are you?"
I'm lying.
Everything's not fine.
I'm not fine.
Worry about me.
I don't care how you are right now.
I'm ******* dying.

You always said your favorite part of me was my eyes.
Brownie batter with toffee bits.
Burnt, from living hell
and reaching to the sky
in search of heaven.
You hold my heart,
I hold my soul.
One is more important to me
then the other.
One you can keep, it's been long dead.
The other is infinitely alive.
It's mine alone.
I won't share this little piece of me.

I'm pretty sure you lied to me
yesterday, or rather
last night.
That was definitely too important
to lie about.
Now I have to be wary
this month.
Not ready for a kid.
Wish you would tell me..

I'll flick you away like my cigarette ****.

Burnt out.

Stop
                  Dragging
       Me
                           Down
              With
You.

I said your love was the biggest lie I've heard.