It’s unnerving how powerful things under the surface are,
things all people share
but communicate only through pursed lips about.
I am continually blurred with thoughts
that flow through my mind.
It’s like I’m running
and not knowing what for
or why.
And when I am
where will I be then?
Maybe there is no destination,
only a constant motion
of running thoughts
that can only be seen as vacant vessels.
With cargo that we can’t label,
understanding that we’re unable
to know of it’s true end,
if any.
But then I feel someone around me,
like I’m having a conversation
with a ghost or a memory.
Who are you?
What do you want?
Do you have the answer
to all these drifting thoughts?
It’s like talking to someone
but not knowing their response.
Maybe these are questions
not meant to be answered.
But how can I guide myself
without a sense of direction.
I guess this is what people mean
when they say life’s unpredictable.
Our thoughts are unpredictable.
We are shaped by them,
what we think we become
and without knowing their meaning
can create or destroy.
It’s unnerving how powerful things under the surface are.

The rush you get stepping on autumn leaves,
the crushing and crinkling below your feet.
            These thoughts they submerged me
as I found one on my car early this morning,
soaked in on my windshield from days of soaring.
Laid there surrounded by pebbles of rain,
and left me thinking the way life is strange.
One moment we’re lifted through tree limbs and air,
carried by the breeze, feeling weightless up there.
But how that same breeze can lead us astray,
and plant us on windshields just to be whipped away.

Sometimes
the places we didn't go,
are just as important
as the ones we chose.

I want to be a long gust of wind
that picks you up off your feet
and keeps you [there]
Aimlessly floating around
and never coming down from that rush
that brought you [there]
Sometimes though, it also brings a feeling
the pressure of the ocean floor
collapsing into your heart
stopping it [there]
It's only for an intense second
enough that you loose your breath and know it's weight
that grounds a feeling [there]
Because even in our minds
we still feel the gravity
as it pulls us down from [there]
But then I'll come around again
like a ship pouring from your chest
that guides you back [there]
Aimlessly floating around
in a cosmic cave of bursting nebulas
that keep you [there]

You are a distant dream
that when in thought,
twists my stomach into knots.
     I can still see your eyes
     as they twinkled at night,
     under the sky's starlight.
     And still feel your skin
     brushed up against mine,
     as we laid together entwined.

You are a deafening scream
that brings a shock,
to everything I had forgot.
     I can still hear your voice
     and the love it rejoiced,
     while I still had a choice.
     And still smell your scent
     on the last day we left,
     with an old life to reinvent.

You are a distant sea
that kisses the shores
I rest upon no more.
     I can still taste the air
     and the grapes we had shared,
     when the summer was bare.
     And still it all swells
     whispering of it's tales,
     as I struggle these spells.

You are a distant dream
who always returns to me
and robs me of my sleep,
while I try to break free
and come at peace
with all of the love that once loved me.

It rained the whole time when you were away,
not all the time but at least once a day.
Rain drops made quick bubbles as they hit the ground,
small short lived air pockets I was surrounded around.
While others cascaded along the windows,
guided by air that softly would blow.

The tick tacking and pidder padding,
The smell of the breeze and it's cleansing.

The rain is an unspoken season of it's own,
some play outside while others hide at home.
More often than summer, it comes and it goes,
evoking emotions like the winter's snow.
Yet still helps the withered, all dried up and cracked,
but can't save the dead in hopes to bring back.

And that brings us back to where I'm sitting at,
without you around it feels more like an attack.
Attacking the loneliness and memories of,
The joy we had found from the rain falling above..

..But you're not around and then, only then
Does the rain take the shape of a foe,                        no longer a friend.
With you I found joy when it poured from the sky,
but now I'm alone and would rather stay inside.

That golden sunrise
against the summer horizon,
Bursting through the purest of sky blues
calming and secure,
was easy to get lost in.
Like the shades in your eyes that day,
a whole spectrum.
An entire world in your depths,
filled with seas and landscapes.
Where I wish to scale it's mountains
and deep dive it's oceans.
And then I catch myself swimming.
Swimming towards an indigo.
Your indigo.
I was getting lost in it's twilight,
Like a super nova from an exploded star.
A color that wakes up all of my sense
you brushed upon my lips,
Painting in shades that the world envies to create.
It just lingered there,
absorbing into my skin
coloring every word I say.
Swirling in a mist,
a color that orbits over me now.

It's 4 am love
Close your eyes, go back to sleep
I'll protect you now

I see you today
So I woke up with the sun
Waiting patiently