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Teo Sep 2019
Life is a landscape
A river that flows and
A forest that goes
On and on and on
It is a song with infinite notes
Hate, love and hope
Yet how fragile the ropes
That hold us together so
Never must you ever lose
Or confuse the presence and
Power of faith or her flowers

And water, without which we
Would not exist, so relish
And savor every drop on your lips

Within the landscape of mine
A place with no time
The water wells up from a soul
Just so ripe, and intent is a
Pipe that directs and converts this essence
Of life

There was once a man who
Had flooded his land with
Ethanol spirit distilled by
His hand
As he floats in the center
He demands all who enter
Dominion of bottles to be poured
Into gentler lips will not speak
Will not bellow from peaks of
Despair. Breathe fumes from
The air, in this inner climate
Hope's flowers grow scarce

There was once a woman
Who loved this man so
But the depths of his lake
She never could know
And the closer she moves
The more darkness will grow
Until her inner world
Grew murky and sodden
A whole meadow of flowers
To become the downtrodden
Promise of a future so peaceful
And tranquil. Unknowing
How long the dark and the
Dank will infect her mind
Indirectly or not, she drinks
From the lake and the
Man's inward rot

We all know how hard
It can be to change, stop
Misplacing the blame and a
Life rearranged
If your insides are toxic, then
Your world is too
You can choose to be poison
Or create something new
But despite best intentions
The force of life kills
Nothing is eternal, no power
No will or no flower overcomes
What worlds yet may be, what
Light or what sun to reveal
Things unseen

This woman had children, a
Sister and brother dipped toes in
This lake and their inner worlds
Smothered while navigating
The stress, confrontations
For years normalcy was a drowning
Sensation
One rotten day brought a
Butterfly face to the girl
A wolf made it's place inside her
Inner world, what was once
Metaphorical became a stark
Truth, phantasmagorical was
No longer a proof, the wolf grew deplorable
Made a feast of her health
Stole her inner wealth, leaving
The girl with a maimed sense of
Self and with each hospital
Visit and new medication, the wolf
Drank from the lake. An abomination
For sure, yet the girl is so loved
And the hope will endure

If I could take it from you
Little sister, god ****** I would
Nobody should live this
******* NOBODY SHOULD
I've asked god to do more, just
******* open the door between
Our two worlds and lure the predator
In

I am the boy with lizards for skin
Cracking and bleeding
And slithering in and around the
Stones of this garden I've built to
Preserve those flowers, I cant let them
Wilt while I fight my own health, my demons
Afloat in my own lake
It's hard not to give in, but for my own sake
I will keep farming these flowers
Even when I sink like a stone
The dark is not my home, no
Matter what my mind thinks
And sometimes I still drink, but
When I do, **** right I savor
Every last drop, because I'm still alive
And I will never stop
Surviving and thriving
One day at a time
Teo Sep 2019
I started a new job a couple of months ago
Working with children and the skeletons in their closets
And boyyyyy, let me tell you, there's an army of them
Kids who've had their guardians deny them food and lock them in rooms for long periods of time
Kids who've been coke dealers and stabbed people
Kids who've had cigarettes snuffed out on their arms before being ***** by their grandpa
It seems like every one of them has been sexually assaulted
And they're little *******, I mean I can understand why
So I put up with their **** and do my best to love and nurture them as much as is professional and appropriate

Because it puts things in perspective
I've battled my own skeletons, subdued enough of their osteal pallor to feel preeeetttty much normal
Now my only demons come to me while I'm trying to sleep as ringing in my ears
******* tinnitus has been keeping me up, shrieking from nowhere, everywhere around me, incessantly flooding my ear canals

But I went to the doctors today and he rinsed out a tooth sized chunk of wax from my ear and gave me some amoxicillin for my infection
And I knew in my mind that it could always be worse
People have gone dead, never able to hear their favorite music again
In some sick way it brings me relief, putting things in perspective like that
So that's what I try to tell these kids
But I doubt it helps when your mother allowed you to be pimped out by her boyfriend
But it could always be worse
You could be the **** in this situation, and one day you would find that sleep won't be your only demon
So I find myself wishing that I could take my bottles rinse the wax out of their juvenile ears, but they've heard too much screaming and crying
I wonder if their tinnitus will ever go away
And just hope, while they're telling me to **** **** and die, that they too will one day know the peace of silence
I hope that their demons dont drag them down aallllllll the way to hell, because it could always be worse
Teo Jun 2018
I really hate to get political
But the evil over my head is becoming much too literal
Not visceral, the rhetoric, it ain’t even subliminal
At this point in our history, this **** is going critical
Nearly three centuries, our people were enslaved
Terrorized for another one, locked up, put in graves
Segregation, Jim Crow, you already know
That’s how America goes, but we ain’t the only ones done *****
By the law of the land, the native genocide, cultures erased
By their hand, my latino brothers being thrown in a camp
Just like the Japanese a few decades ago
Non white ethnicities turn into a threat
By those who say America is a bastion of hope
Because they reached for a rope and ****** all of these people
With impunity, we ain’t getting nowhere cause there’s no unity
And it’s only getting worse thanks to president chump
Wait I meant president dump, hope fate gives him a lump
He’s the picture of cancer spreading through our country
Make America great again? How can you not see
This place was never a home for the people like me
There was never moment in time without a division
The birth of a nation? More like the birth of a prison

We’re stuck in these communities that keep breeding crime
Denied equal opportunities time after time
If you think it’s over, nah, it’s more carefully hidden
In corporations, politicians, the laws have been written
Three strikes, stand your ground, and mandatory minimums
They keep us down or dead, keep us sipping on their venoms
We’ve stayed criminalized since we got out them chains
Thrown right back in the system and corporations get paid
They’re the new masters, and prisons are fields
You’re deluding yourself if you think we are healed
And this “war” that they're waging, it’s not a war on drugs
It’s a war on minorities, not a war on thugs, it’s a war on love

They murdered our leaders, gunned down in their beds
So we couldn’t defend ourselves, our civil rights have just bled
Our people, we were wealth, whites got to keep it
Our ancestors sowed it, today we don't reap it
And the wealth gap keeps growing day after day
There’s no honest day’s work for fair ******* pay
Discrimination in loans, we’re still trapped in our homes

And one third of my brothers will have to see the inside
That’s the statistic for us, for the white boy that rides
Right next to me, it's one in seventeen
The American dream?
More like the American scheme
There’s too much of our blood on their hands
To ever come clean, so cut them the *******
Like the worst kind of thieves, I’m a peaceful person
But **** my beliefs, cause if you don’t think it’s about color
Guess what it is, I don't need apologies, it’s God that forgives
The only thing I want from you is to stand for what’s right
Cause what’s wrong is wrong, be it black or white

How many unarmed black men have to die
Before we see we’re all in harms way
They put Freddie Gray in the sky
Trayvon and Tamir, Philando Castille
Too many to name here, I can’t help but feel disgust
And distrust seems to be all that is real
I can see the beast slicing into us like a meal
And just like Eric Garner, I can’t ******* breathe
Slip through the cracks in the screen
Filtered blacks through the sieve
How are we ‘sposed to live when they do **** like they did
To my lost brother Kalief, beaten without relief
For three years at Riker’s cause he couldn't post bail
After not taking a plea, that boy could have been you
That boy could have been me
And when the jury decided, the damage was done
They had already won, he hanged himself in the Bronx…

He was 22…
Just know your tales will be told
But this song’s getting old and I don’t want to sing it
To fit the mold of the angry black boy who wont be controlled
All I want to say now is that the hate doesn't scare me
And we are the solution, you can jail a revolutionary
But not the revolution, so take note, don't forget our struggles
Get out there and vote
But just so you know, it’s a promise not a threat
If my Dr. King don’t get through, my ******* Malcolm comes next
Because this is far from over, the grievance is real
And if you ain’t standing with me, frankly
**** how you feel

I’m done
Teo Oct 2017
She asked, "Do you love me?"
As if she couldn't see the answer
Well, if there is a chance her questions cease to dance in that glorious head
If I could put her at ease, the very least I can do
Is just say the truth

"Of course I love you."

"Do you promise?" She asked

"I swear on my heart. To the moon and back."

She smiled that smile and said, "Farther than that?"
As if this thing could be measured by light years or parsecs
As if love was a treasure that we can only detect
When it falls to the Earth
Well, since birth, I feel like I've been waiting for you
And this feeling is new, so bear with me
And I'll try my best to describe, make these words come alive with the feelings
That they could never explain

Well, here's a good start:
My love for you is nebulous
Tremendously, it escapes from my chest to exist
As a cloud in my spaces
And all the light on Earth chases you throughout the day
Though I yet may never write a poem worthy of this
Just to kiss you has become my own miracle
Circumventing the spacetime around me
As unrelenting as the forces that maintain every boundary
In that literal sense

You are my pillars of creation
I wish that every sensation I've made you feel could show you this truth
You are my space station, you are the proof that there is a light somewhere
So don't you dare fizzle out, because you are beautiful
You are my Rosette, if Cassiopeia would just shut up and let
Her radiance shine, you would still be more divine
In the same footsteps as Perseus, I want you to be mine
But I can do only so much with spectroscopy and rhymes
Just know that I love you exponentially more than to Luna's craters and cracks
You are the knack that I think I have for writing, alighting my pages, your fingers track
The flight of my soul, and once it gets there and back
Andromeda herself can testify to that, don't take my word for it
But if you could ignore it or deny by the time I am done
If this poem is worthless
If dark energy won
It would all be
My fault

So halt...
Because I'm not Perseus, no hero, but to hold you in my arms
And become a part of your shimmering charms make that okay
I'm merely a man, even absolute zero could not understand
That's my life without you, no stars in the sky
Simply an elongated wait for the Universe to just die
But you
You're still here
So I'm still gonna try

My love for you is cosmic, no
It's not a trick, if it was that easy
I'd just say infinite
But what good is forever with no "happily"
And what use is the Earth if you're not here with me?
I'd just be this person with these celestial thoughts
Lost in the Oort Cloud, with this terrestrial rot
And you're a cluster of stars, don't you ever doubt
You're far more luminous than even Fomalhaut
More like "R136a1," which is ten million times brighter than our puny Sun
Somewhere out there in the Tarantula, which is another interesting name
For a nebula, unlike the star burning there, still not as brightly as you
Even scientists have trouble naming something so new
And you take me to places even Hubble can't see
So I hope you stay in this air bubble with me
You don't need to be Asteria
Atlas can't hold up my dome
But won't you be my Polaris?
Let me follow you home

Because you shine, oh, you shine
And these feet, they just roam

But you, you are my heart, my titaness
You are the light that gives meaning to darkness
Whatever god is there, I must surely be blessed
Because my love for you, it is
Fathomless...
  Jun 2017 Teo
Ariana
68
Origami flowers and paper cranes
cloak my desk and litter the floor,
and one more
for each day that you haven’t been mine.

But it’s fine, I’ve more paper.

So I’ll keep folding, and repeat
step one through step eight. But now
it’s getting late and I can hear you
around the corner.
So in order, I’ll rehearse step eight through
fourteen as a means to bridge
the rift at the ridge of my
mind.

I can’t afford to be alone,
adrift inside.

Because I fear if I weren’t folding this paper,
I might foolishly try to manipulate the
stars
in the deep purple sky. My nights spent
mapping a light dotted guide. Then it’s
inside reverse, crimp,
and crease, until it’s one
perfect piece of art.
I fold, in part, because I know
that without this sheet, I would aim,
in vain, to
crease time and space into pretty paper shapes
where I’d reside in the folds with you.

But I am no Asteria, and the stars
are not mine to hold.

So I continue to fold, and
restate step one through step eight
and I’ll wait for your resonance to
dissipate.

I overheard last week that you need a new hobby
and since you know it can't be me,
consider origami.
"True love is always wanting what's best for someone, even if that doesn't include you."
Teo Jun 2017
Eventually, everything slows down to a stop
The force of it will flow along, drip and drop
Like a leak from a hose
Or a river that goes dry, the moon
Pulls the tides as it glows in the skies
And since the ocean cant hide
The waters push back in retaliation
The satellite will drift away slowly, and the night
Will be lonely as the waves start to quiet
And the sea will be
Still

See, I have a strong will, but sometimes I'd ****
To posses the power of fixing the mistakes that I've made
Every time I can't sleep, I fall into my head
I keep trying to write as the seconds are bled
From my life in the silence as another heartbeat
The stillness will smother, the longing, it eats
Up my composure, and with each day I'm less sure
Exactly what this is supposed to be

Let me just state
That I refuse to watch you drift away
How can you lay your head on my chest
And believe yourself say that there's nothing here
At the end of these days we still have each other
Whatever that means to you
I don't understand this, what do I need to prove?
How can you think that I don't still love you
Have you even been near me?
When I pull you into my arms and hold you so dearly
Was I really so awful that you won't even try?
How can you be so ready to just say goodbye
Of course, it still aches, each passing day you're not mine
It's worse than a shame, it should be a **** crime
To ruin something so beautiful, more perfect than art
Forget all of my writing, don't need origami, don't start
Telling me what I feel, I still miss you in my heartstrings, because
In my eyes, loving you was the most glorious thing


And now all I can do is pray that tides bring
You back to my beach, but I've been gone for so long
They say that rough waters teach sailors to be strong
And I didn't drown yet, I tread through my regret
Trying to build myself back into someone you can love
No more excuses, just say what you're thinking of
Because I'm still waiting and I still don't believe
That you don't want this, that you don't want me
You say I'm no monster, then where's the high road here?
What can drive you away from this irrational fear?
Why put ourselves through this? The reasons aren't clear
And the future isn't written, it's not meant to be known
There's only right here and now, just know you have a home
In my heart, whatever that's worth, I can understand your doubt
But if you do love me, I hope you figure it out
Before the oceans go quiet and the night sky stays dark
What's the purpose of holding onto these broken hearts?
I just don't get it
We're still right here
Why not even try?
Teo May 2017
I'm gonna try this again, try to say something new
But who knows, I'm not sure if I'll ever get through-
To her, embedded in the background of my thoughts
I still find myself missing her more often than not

I spend so much of my time trying to see from her perspective
Always asking what went wrong, are our hearts too selective?
I wonder why I'm like this, deserve to be all alone again
Never will she call me something more than just a friend

If she's an X and I'm a Y, were we just missing variables?
Was I just another problem with unknows, much too terrible-
To try and solve, after all, what's algebra got to do with life?
Not a **** thing, it won't ever bring this darkness into light

And I've thought a lot on darkness, it's so full of unknowns
But that's what brings me peace, sometimes the moonlight feels like home
When the Sun is harsh and bright and the people are so loud
I try with all my might and with each day done, I'm proud

But I know she doesn't mind, she'll never truly be alone
I have no other choice to make but face this world on my own
And in my dreams, I'm still wishing she never ceases to smile
Even if for me that means I'll be sad for a long while

So I'll just watch her as she waits for whatever outcome is "meant to be"
Whatever that's supposed to mean, a future she can't even see
Though I'm still standing here, but I guess that's not worth much
Writing these useless poems that don't even work well as a crutch

And if I die alone, I guess it's "meant to be" my fate
Cause if I held my breath, I think she'd let me suffocate
You can find me in the moonlight, relearning how to breathe
I love her so **** much, but I need a new hobby

She'll fold oragami flowers while someone makes her little paper birds
At least every sheet she creases is one not wasted on these words
I fell apart, but it's time I start picking up my own mess
It's funny how I love you more as I finally miss you less...
if you love something, let it go...
it was never really yours anyway
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