i don't believe in god
but this sickness makes me pray.
pray to hurt less,
maybe for just one day.

i don't believe religion can heal people.
but i drown myself in holy water
hoping i'll see a change.

i don't believe in the holy ghost
but man do i wish he'd help me.
i could use a little guidance
when its late at night
and my thoughts consume me.

i don't believe in heaven
but the finality of death scares me.
how much id love to think
we, greedy humans,
get a second chance at living.

i don't believe in hell,
but that may be where i go.
for I've sinned too many times to count
and had too many conversations with the devil.
but from what I've seen of this place
i think i might already be there.

sometimes it's like i feel too much.
waves of emotions overwhelm me
and i am powerless against its force.

it's like i feel everything deeper.
canyons and trenches could not compare
to the depths of what makes me, me.

somehow i feel everything for longer.
droughts have ended faster
than i have been able to let go.

my emotions build and dissipate
more quickly than the rain falls.
one minute thunder, the next a rainbow.

There are words
trapped between
my memories and dreams.
I am learning
to capture them,
hold them close,
before setting them free.
I will no longer
hold on to words
that poison the love
within my soul.
I will shed light
in the darkest places
of my twisted memories,
and broken dreams.

you are a diamond unique  and rare
your beauty is  beyond compare
but you are unaware
so let me declare
your beauty is like no other
you will never find another
let no one tell you otherwise
so take off your disguise

Why couldn’t you have been hateful-
Make it easier for me to go.
Why couldn’t you have been cheating
And I’d been the last one to know.

Why couldn’t you be indifferent
Not caring if I go away.
Why must I see your heart breaking
And want to, but know I can’t stay.  
                  *  ljm

Hold a door for someone with their arms full
Hold a door for someone with no arms at all.
Hold a door for a mother, a father, a child
Or someone who may not be here for a while
Hold a door made of glass, of steel, of gold
Of old wood and splinters in the freezing cold.
Hold a door for a stranger and a stranger may hold one for you
It seems so rare that we help, be the exceptional few

Give your hat to shield someone's eyes from the sun
Give your shoes to someone ready to run
Give your attention when someone speaks their heart
And your heart to someone who needs attention
Give something that may mean little to yourself
But to someone else may be a beautiful blessing

Say hello to a person preoccupied with life
Date with intention of a husband or wife
Make people feel special, they'll appreciate your time
Say the words that make sense even if they don't... never mind

If everyone acted as I do,
I would have a hard time finding myself.

Tell them I'm coming,
Tell them I'm raising hell,
Show them the names I've been taking,
Look hard at the demons I'm waking.
I am a something, my cards are showing,
Don't think I am bluffing.
This is my title, so don't amazed when I summon waves,
The hole that I've dug, I call it a grave,
Still I dug it myself, unlike the slaves
Unaware with no care of the bridges their burning.
With a gust through the air, this windmill keeps turning.

Wake up the world in witching hours,
I'll stand on a stage and recite my life,
Yet none throw me flowers
This day job has me living each day in repeat
So quietly, I write week after week
Looking for an audience to pull me from this desk
Until that day comes, I will never rest.
I've been call a quitter, a fighter, a dropout, a dream.
Always striving to be the best me I could have been.

Now tell me them I'm coming
I'll crack through the sky
No limit exists when I sprout wings and fly

What if it all came crashing down?
A single blue-green marble hits the ground
No one notices at all.
What if you disappeared?
Packed up and moved clear out of here
No one notices at all.

It's okay. Pay attention to the change.
You can change a lot, it can change a lot,
To know that someone knows you exist
Take a good look on how strange it all looks
And everything you missed , staring at your shoes.
Even a stranger, you never knew, is a lot to lose.

Dance on crowded streets, with no music,
Keep the beat, playing in your head.
Worry about how others see you,
When you're gone and dead.
Give the world something odd to talk about,
Be something new people thought about.
On these cracked sidewalks that begin to look the same
Change the game, change the world.

What if it all came crashing down?
A single blue-green marble hits the ground
What if you disappeared?
Someone may notice you aren't around

i stopped being the rain
and the sun
that gave you life
and i turned into wildflowers