you don't have to be pretty
or be beautiful physically
or be great at
anything you love....

as long as you're there
for me to see
and lean on
once every often

and by knowing that you
care and hold me close
to your heart
once every often
i know i can
live life
well
enough.

loneliness has defined
this old soul.
Bittersweet melody
has tuned my way of
living.

I don't know how much
my heart could stand
the weight and wait
for that simple moment,
that single spark
to feel alive
and stop breathing
the ashen smog of reality.

Where are they now?
Where are my friends?
Everyday I contemplate what, why and how,
However they're not here in the end.

I miss them,
I wonder if they miss me.
Are they really my friends?
Do they think about me?

I worry about them,
Are they ok?
I wonder if I was a good friend.
What if they weren't ok?

I wonder if I did anything wrong,
Were they annoyed by me?
Did I annoy them all along?
Do they know how much they mean to me?

Don't they know how much I hurt?
Don't they know how much I needed their comfort?
Where were they when I needed them?
Weren't they supposed to be my friends?

Where are they now?
I don't know when, I don't know how.
I know only one thing,
I care about them despite everything.

To my friends,
Go ahead and leave.
I don't care in the end,
I only want you to be happy.

Even if I get hurt,
I don't need the comfort.
Even if it's painful,
I don't care about it all.

I love you guys more than anything,
I don't want you to be unhappy.
Even if leave me after everything,
I won't stand in the way of your happiness.

I lay in bed
Thinking clouds above my head
A thunderstorm of cumulonimbus clouds
Dark thoughts overcrowd

I try to force a happy subject through
But I'm still blue
The thoughts are in control
And they begin to take roll
1. Death
Deep breath
2. Loneliness
Heart full of emptiness
3. Mind overrun with fears
Eyes flooded with tears
4. Exhaustion
Only one option

I fall asleep
And I no longer weep
I wake up and get out of bed
Without memory with a rainbow overhead

Last night,
I told Jupiter
to sell me one of her
many moons.
Well, you can't have
Callisto.
How about Europa?
No.
Then can Amalthea
become my own?
There was silence
in waiting
for
what
I'd expect.
it's been quite
a while
actually,
a good many months
until I remembered
that small dot of silver
hung up in my room.
just where it
belonged
I found myself too.
I spoke with Jupiter
for an hour tonight
She asked "How is Thea?"
I said,
"She's doing all right."
How good of her
to want to know.
My moon is my anchor
and I love her so.