I can feel your heart beat in that one
moment we're together
And you're looking at the stars
as they sparkle like your eyes
each with a flicker of hope
a flicker of hope that you might really care
But I'm looking at you
and you can't seem to notice
But hearts beat as one
And our minds think together
And in that moment I think I'm in
love
But I'm not in love with you
I'm in love With the thought of you
The thought of being with you
It makes every part of me ache
But I stop caring
Because I can l only feel one thing
Love
Until you look at me
And the beat of my heart changes
It races
But you don't see me
Like I see you
I see perfection
And you see a game
Something to play with until I it
breaks
Like everything else
You play me
And my heart stops
It beats slowly
As if it is trying to tell me something
with each beat
But I ignore every message
And I look at you
And for a second
the universe is drawing us together
For a second every thing is blurry
But you're the only thing in focus
And it feels like more than a second
I want it to last forever
And you move closer to me
And I move closer to you
And our faces get closer and closer
Until the gap has disappeared
And I'm looking into the stars in your eyes
Everything is perfect
Nothing can change this one moment
Even the stars look at us in awe
Because it's perfect
Then suddenly my second is up
Everything stops
And our lips don't touch
And you leave me with the same emptiness I started with
The same feeling of loneliness
and everything is the same
and you're looking at the stars
and I'm looking at you
and I'll only ever be looking at you

Console and release my pain to another place
For my head is filled with dread all the time
Though the experience is going paced
I realize my future looks like grime

Emotions run through my veins seeking peace
Momentary recognition fo life
Regrets and lamentations that wont cease
Panic struck bravery with a sharp knife

Reluctance shared our circumstances
It gave a condescending and proud smile
Took a risky and desperate chance
Acceptance was ignored by denial

Suddenly the mind lifted the black fog
And restored a brightness that once more came back

A confusion or ambivalence of sorts has settled upon me
Could be me just whining but oh well...
For once Ive always wanted an encounter with simplicity
Surely it would give me a break from all this complexity that I call life
With anything or anyone whos a part of the latter
My loved ones or lovers
My job or my upcoming studies
A breath that I dont allow myself to take because apparently I like self destructing
Nerves fill me everywhere
Take me to a day where I can adhere my true way of being
Though Im only just starting...

I am a conniption personified, and you have stars in your eyes.
-no wonder we didn't work out

Our path is filled with uncertainty
Lost in the maze of lies
Blinded by false images of harmony
True interests will arise

Cries ignored subsequently diminishing
Silent pain causing sadness
Happiness currently dwindling
Entering oblivion while already falling into darkness

Improbability standing in every corner
Ambivalence will surely destroy
Pride tainted leading to deteriorated honor
Forget that awaiting time to rejoice

Distant but present perseverance turning sideways
Experience will transform into rejuvenescence