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It wasn't real
It wasn't real
It wasn't real
But this is

Beauty a lie
Truth a nightmare
All in a dream
Felt I lived it

Walls of flowers
Loving kisses
Then to wake
Forced repetition

It wasn't real
It wasn't real
It wasn't real
But this is

It doesn't seem like
This is real
It seems like
This is Hell

Here it hurts
Here it grates
It's all the same
Forced repetition

It wasn't real
It wasn't real
It wasn't real
But this is

I don't know
What hurts more
That it wasn't real
Or that this is
PA Trees Apr 2024
To the boy I loaned a pencil,
You never had to give it back.

I know this one was fancy,
New eraser, full of lead.
But I had another one just like it
Which you could have had instead.

Though I always used the same one,
I carried two of every kind.
To make sure you had options
Of lead in every size.

You always chose the worst ones,
Even after I'd protest.
You said that you'd just lose it.
But I knew I'd have no regrets.

It was your right to lose them.
Pencils of your very own.
I had plenty more there in my bag,
And many more at home.

But you never took the nice ones.
So I collected from the floor
Any pencil so mistreated
That you would call it yours.

And every day I offered
Without needing to be asked.
Because the importance of a pencil
Was not just science class.
My science teacher always assigned the same boy to be my lab partner in middle school. I suppose she hoped I'd be a "good influence". I hope I was.
PA Trees Feb 2023
I had some bad news to deliver,
So I took her to my spot
The bench under the tree,
With all its gnarled knots

The bench right by the creek,
Right where the turtles like to play
A sacred spot of rest,
And shade on sunny days

I sat her down beside me,
And prepared her for the worst
Something so horrible,
It had taken eight weeks to rehearse

I really wish he'd told her,
Like he said he would
Should have known an aggressor's word
Is rarely ever good

I told her all there was to tell,
I answered every question
And then I found myself alone,
Silence in all directions

She walked so far away,
That I couldn't hear her voice
My story then repeated,
To the person of her choice

I waited on the bench,
And then waited some more
I made a small bouquet,
From flowers on the shore

I tied it up with grass,
And set it to the side
Such a mindless act of beauty,
I'm shocked I didn't cry

Not a sound escaped my lips,
Even after she returned
From the feeling in the air I knew,
The meeting was adjourned

Less than one day later,
She sat me down backstage
Though her conclusions were ill-founded,
Her words stung all the same

Eight weeks of work and "it's not your fault"
She did her best to make undone
Not only did I encourage him,
But I broke the essence of our bond

My dishonesty, my silence,
Can never be forgiven
My every flaw as a friend,
Unasked for, yet still given

Her final words were pure spite
If I'd only told her that same night

But how could I have told her,
What I didn't understand?
In an effort to escape the room,
I may have kissed her man

Four months to process,
Four hours locked away
But I never knew peace,
until I made that bouquet.
PA Trees May 2022
Dear five, without you
I would not be here.
For my mom was born
In your month of May.
And my dad was born
On the fifth of June.
Both of my siblings
And I make a five
Person family crew.
My bank account would
Be empty, but for
Five random dollars
I’ve managed to save.
Would you consider
Inspiring more than
Just me? With your great
Set of multiples?
Without ten, fifteen,
Twenty-five, oh where
Would we be? Dear five,
You’re so important
To all, not just me.
PA Trees May 2018
Crash goes glass on ***** ground
Shatter goes the breaking sound
Too bad, too bad, too bad.

Don't rush behind, don't rush ahead
With one mistake your dreams are dead
Too bad, too bad, too bad.

Breathe in slow, coughing fast
Searching for the aftermath
Too bad, too bad, too bad.

Sprint 'cross lawns, jump the fence
It's not love, in my defense
Too bad, too bad, too bad.

Too bad things cannot be fixed.
Too bad that it's all a blip.
Too bad that you need the thrill.
Too bad. You're empty still.
PA Trees Dec 2017
He fails to look at me
Because she is in his sheets.

I fail to look
Because I'm fragile.

She fails to look
Because she's passed out.

I fail to escape
Because of the time.

I fail
Because
I am a failure.
PA Trees Dec 2017
My hands are shaking
pulse rushing
heart beat-beating
vision blurring
speech slurring
dropping slowly to the ground.

In and out of consciousness
devil's words
blackness
faces crowding
halos glowing
fading into nothing now.
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