your warm smiles melt any cold except for this fake plastic snow

the last time
I shaved
was when I met you

-day disposable and seasonal

Do you love me?**



I tinsel

so close



so close

so close

so close

my own little valentine

you'll never fall for me,
but you'll fall to the floor
like snow you've changed
from being this little
droplet into a cold frigid boy

so let it snow let it snow let it snow

i'll never forget how
afraid and ashamed
and intimidated
you all
made
me feel.

during the weeks before retreat
lodge signups
posted outside

my ink was the first against
this pale sheet that
nobody signed up for
and left me sleeping alone
on the night of retreat

I auditioned for the solo
and in the end I was the solo

and nobody was there for me
on closing night

and wasn't invited to the cast party
"did you forget I was apart of this community?"

parents spent thousands
that you'll make friends

and those friends
made you tears of a thousands

remember we won first place
from competing agains Burroughs
and on the bus ride home
I sat in the loneliest place
and wanted to burrow

In death we will reunite
Gifts are the second half
Of the tree
Where it comes
Feels
Reunited at last underneath

you don't know
how much
this means
to
me