I cut off my bloodline and angled my prose
I wrote things in places where nobody goes
I fleshed out my thoughts with invisible ink
and anchored my Soul on a ship that can’t sink

I rode all the waves that I had in my head
and let my tomorrows be yesterdays’ bread
I thought of the future, I thought of the past
but stayed in a present I knew wouldn’t last

I smiled at sunrise and cried with the moon
I preyed on emotions I knew would leave soon
I let myself float like a fish in the sea
and gave my heart hope like a fond memory

I cut off my bloodline but had to go back
I left things behind too completely in tact
I wrote words in places for others to find
— if life is a book, it exists in my mind

The blood collects, the earth the cup
And quickly now it's filling up
The ones who drink will also pour
Until there's nothing anymore
I cannot say the time is come
But what I know - thy will be done

Are you the hand that paints it red
Or someone who has washed instead

For no one else can claim your role
It's yours alone, so keep it whole
I see myself in others' eyes
But are my own becoming blind
My lids restore the outer part
Enough deceit to plague my heart
I should at first, have looked within
Before I traded sight for skin
And if there's still a chance for me
I'll take it now, I'll drink the sea

Tell me something more about the life inside your head
Where it is you go when every part of you is dead
Maybe I can come along so you won't have to talk
I'll see it with my own two eyes, I'll follow as you walk
And even if you set a pace that I cannot maintain
I'll make my way with caution like I'm falling in the rain
I'll read you like a story you have bound within yourself
And yours will be the only book I set upon my shelf
I'd like to spend my days rereading every single page
Let life into your words, they're not a trap, you're not a cage

see, there is a moment, a speckle in Time
when you’re in the darkness before you see Light
you follow the patterns inside of your brain
and relive the memories that caused you such pain

but somehow your heart stirs the body it keeps
and offers perspectives you never could see
you choose to start living and breathing anew
you pick up the pieces, surrender to Truth

see, there is a moment, a second you get
to live in your body or die in your head
the latter comes easy, society says
the former is work for the rest of your breaths

What if all the matter you could ever hope to have
Turned you into something that was never meant to last
Who would then determine whether this could be reversed
Should you seek asylum from the kingdom of the cursed
When would be the moment you would need the help to come
Pick you up and pour you out and give you time to run
How could heavy feet even determine where to go
Buried in the kind of mud where nothing ever grows
I guess the only hope you have is underneath it all
Beyond another border where your feet are standing tall

what is it I carry
that is throwing me this way
a personal belief
I couldn't bury in the haze
the smoke's the only thing
that showed me *where I want to be
a step ahead of lonely
and a wave above the sea
I'm not a haunted being
like I thought I always was
it turns out we are nothing
but the end of what's become
and I am ever sorry
for the purposeless divide
I know you couldn't feel it
but I kept you like the time
the pieces of forever
couldn't possibly ignore
the thought of this not ending
was a plague that wanted more
than we had ever given
for we thought the night would bend
with you and I together
in a plausible pretend
the seers and the doers
are supposed to be the same
without a doubt collateral
for everything we claim
I laid you out in fragments
and began to learn your soul
I'm not the type of person
who will ever let you go
I'll try to find a way
for all the seasons that we sing
today it feels like autumn
but tomorrow will be spring
and I will ask the rain
to introduce me to your hands
so I can fall asleep
before I touch another man

Vladik Vladik
by the sea
I crossed the bridge
and felt your breeze
but people walk
imposingly
and keep their face
a mystery
because of this
I only see
a sadness in
the city streets
Vladik Vladik
by the sea
it got too cold
I had to leave

I want to be the words      that stir you up a certain way
and leave you with the passion that was always yours to stay
I knew you for a moment but my body


wandered off
and with it came the notion I was never yours at all
I wanted to embrace you in a way that no one could
but every time I tried you turned away from where I stood
Today I was a coffin but tomorrow I will be
we haven't     died together, separation holds the key
residing in a city not too far away from you
I've learned to be the keeper of the person I once knew

I penned you like an anagram connected to a scroll
     that poured itself like  honey  over wounds inside my Soul
I thought away my treason as I sang you like a song
and heard my voice repeating: “you’ve been with me all along”
The Sun was in your eyes the day you wandered into me
  and entered both of mine the night I thought I’d never see
         I must’ve been asleep with all the knowledge in my head
              until you put your hand in mine and woke me from the dead

go move and have a cry upon a shoulder you have known
a shoulder you’re attached to like the cortical of bone
let flow the conversation even if you speak in tears
for in their salty waters lie a pendulum of years

go put your best foot forward and don’t step it back away
the Spirit you depend on will renew you if you stay
let go your dispositions, all the tendencies you have
for in their barely breathing state, they’re nothing but a trap

go back to where you were when you had only peace of mind
the body you are living in will recognize The Time
let sown be every lesson, even ones you tried to fight
for in their Truth there is no lie, there’s nothing but a Light

if I was never challenged, would I want to be appeased?
I think about it all the time — would I be more at ease?
if no one in my life told me the thoughts I thought were wrong
would I be ever weaker or would I be that more strong?

if I was never told I am a person I was not
would I continue fighting for The Truth inside my heart?
I think about it all the time and just how much I’ve grown
when no one in my life was there, I found You  on my own

that I was ever challenged and that I was made the least
speaks everything to Who You are and what You make of me
I thought I needed people and I thought I needed time
but all I need is You and You are always on my mind

In company sedated under someone else's skin
I try to find the door through which my body wandered in
There won't be any roaming for my shadow left to do
I've seen what I created in a mirror made of you
It's here I know my spirit has been broken many times
Competing with the vessels that are present in my mind
We take our own emotions and expose them to our thoughts
Make everything indifferent to the cause of all the rot
I'm very much aware of where the balances are off
But choose to put aside the very things at which I scoff
There's no one in existence who can comprehend the fight
The battles that we face when we shut out the source of light
It's somewhere on the outskirts of the darkness we explore
Where demons turn to people who are swallowed up in war
The prisoners and fighters were once friends until they spoke
Of massacres they plotted that caused one of them to choke
I'm not here to admire those who pass away to shake
The core of who I am because they couldn't stay awake
Such ****** in the hearts of those who want to have it all
I tried to comprehend it but their pride is just a wall
Forgive them in the name of every power that they seek
'Cause even they will bow to simple truths they cannot speak

I found the kind of Love in you that feeds my every part
the kind of Love that gathers all the pieces of my heart
the kind of Love that matters in the Only Way it can
: by flowing like a river to the very place I am

I found the kind of Love that keeps on going when I tire
the kind of Love that gives me strength and walks me through the fire  
the kind of Love that teaches me the Only Way I know
: by showing me the Fountain from which all of nature flows

I went to the ocean to swim in its waves
to take in the water, put salt on my veins
I laid in the sand to unravel within
and fed off The Sun like a freckle on skin

I went to the ocean to borrow some Time
to walk on the shore, put my toes on the line
I picked up the pieces I found on the way
and left them in places where I couldn’t stay

I went to the ocean to reap from its Peace
to wrap my whole heart in a Spirit I need
I gave up my senses to render my Soul
and understood Love like I understand Hope

should I liken myself to a story
I’d ask to be holding the pen
I would wait for Your Spirit to move me
so I could write freely again

should I liken myself to a season
I’d surely be Winter —  defined
I would capture Its cold with my body
and dance with the Snow in my mind

should I liken myself to a harvest
I’d sow only seeds made of Truth
I would humble my heart in Your Presence
and reap every Winter, Your Fruit

when all the blood inside of you
gives rise to things that make you move
consider mindfulness your friend
and be as patient as you can

and think on words before you speak
your heart is strong, don’t let it leak
let go the notion you have time
you’re only here for seconds, child

the ghost of notes makes Time so worn  
it let’s you think you have much more
but Truth is sound and Time is now
you’ll always be and you’ll know how

you've written on my eyelids all the tendencies of time
And I was keeping track of it until it lost its rhyme
Today I go in circles just like every other day
And what was once connected cast a shadow in its place
Familiar was the crux to every moment I could see
A stranger to my senses but a lover come to be
And somewhere in your folly I could find a place to lie
Exist within its limits and believe I'd never die


But sooner than the thought could travel anywhere but here

I woke to find you sleeping and I had to disappear
I waited on the outside of the body you have known
In hopes that you would notice you could never be alone
I must've let the hours slip completely through my hands
I only made it back in time to watch you turn to sand

I found myself remembering the past and present days
and thought about my nature and the way that I was raised
I learned to seek a certain kind of solace in the depths
of where it was I came from ‘fore I ever took a breath

Consistencies were born in me before I ever was
I reveled in the pureness they poured out into my blood
I look for them to this day still, and fight the urge to say
the sea outside my body carries inconsistent waves

what would happen if I walked a thousand miles a day
   And put myself in places where I do not have a say
It's nothing but the soil and the monsters that I see
They're crawling out of spaces somewhere deep inside of me
I want to leave them everywhere and write about it too
But know they're coming back for me the moment that I do
  So if you want a story have my words fill up the page
It doesn't matter anyway, the monsters know my name

I've kept a box beside my bed
it keeps me up at night
And all the things I held inside
have strained my lucid sight
I try to let them out each day
in hopes they'll run and hide
And take up space or disappear
in someone else's mind
If I can push them off you see
then they will not return
And I'll be given what I want
releasing all concern
So once I have an empty box
I'll know my work is done
That I will not be evermore
so blinded by your sun

If I could slip away I'd choose to hold you 'til the end
and beg for your attention like the tragedy of men
There's something to be said about the effort we we put in
but it amounts to nothing when we realize our skin
The lessons come in pieces and the the puzzle always was
we put it back together or we make another one
I'd rather lay my cards among the weeds and let them choke
and call them as I see them, you're not all that I have known
So even if emotions and the thought of you remain
I'll take you in like winter, let the cold run through my vein*s

to grow apart and walk away
or tell you what I did today
my head is hot, my heart is light
so take a match and make it right
if there's a flame, a flicker still
I'll blow it out and wait until
the smoke is gone to look for you
and if you're there I'll start to move
remain the way we are and see
I'm what is you, you're what is me
and even though we'll never have
a road to run to take us back
the fear that was has ceased to live
and out of death comes I forgive
to love you once is all wish
to make it home, my hope is this

set fire* to the thoughts my head has had me walking through
I don’t want to do anything if I am without You
I’d rather let my body go in flames right here and now
Than walk about a slave unto the ashes burning out
The world has neither reason nor a name to give itself
Some version of a truth that only dare resemble
Hell
Laid back in disposition, waking up in half a sleep
Without a way to walk into a promise made to keep
If anything that matters is worth anything at all
I want to die to see it and be risen when it’s gone