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you cringe,
as you look in the mirror.

you say a prayer,
hoping God can erase this hate.

you hate you.
how did we get here?

you try to hide it,
hide the many tears and the scars.

you hear people say "she is so beautiful, so bold, so carefree",
your skin crawls.

you try and hide,
be smaller,
be invisible.

but everyone can see,
they can smell it.

your body is aching,
from all the stares.

your soul is rotting,
from all the times self-love was promised, but never given.

you have an enemy,
this enemy is you,
it has always been you.
 Apr 2016 Victoria Jennings
oni
one day
i would like to
step out of
my evening shower
to find you
in the kitchen
saying you liked
today's rendition
of our favorite songs
I carved our names on the tree
and then I set it on fire, to leave a constant reminder
of a love that spark, burned, and later died out....
I saw galaxies in your eyes.
But all you saw in mine was your own *reflection
Once upon a time
There was a princess
Who lived all alone
Lost inside her heart

The years went past
She never grew old
Always looking for love
But it never came

Looking for a prince
To take her away
But she keep waiting
Waiting and waiting forever

She never saw him
The poor farmers son
Her watched her window
He worshipped her beauty

Everyday soldiers beat him
But still he'd come
Just to watch her
Until he grew old

She never saw him
Even when he died
Head in the clouds
She never looked below
Copyright © Chris Smith 2014
She comes to me
bleeding inside
from a thousand
individual scars
with pleading eyes
self contained
She speaks in gentle
refrains

"I don't know where
I'm going
I don't know who
I've become
I go through the motions
deaf, blind and dumb
I dance on cue
I stand in line
I've tried to be so
good.
I've left behind the darkness
I've forgiven the past
I'm far too aware of time
It doesn't matter really I don't mind
I wish I could tell
you what I find

The struggle between
my internal world
condemnation
irritability
judgement
fears
heartaches there, vile rages, petty hatreds
*** dancing on the head of a
pin
exquisite laughter
it's all there.

While my behavior is quite the
opposite
accommodating, loving, compassionate
flirtatious, curious
connection is my goal

When I'm alone I'm lonely
when together suffocated
the best distance is
from here to there

I wish I could tell
you that I mind

The storms still
come and go
luck rides the
tides
each day the
sunrise

This human stuff
is all too real
it creeps up on you
so you don't know
how you feel

Which is why I've
come to you to
speak my mind
they say you are the
complaint department
the garbage collector

I'm bleeding inside
from a thousand scars
that's not to say I really mind."

They say the healer
must heal themselves
so of course I ask
"How can I help you?"
 Apr 2016 Victoria Jennings
Li
remind me to love you again
when my veins bleed
instead of my pen

remind me to love you again
when I've gone insane
when the pills won't kick in

remind me to love you again
when you have no one else
to talk to until three am

remind me to love you again
when I'm all alone
when all the love songs
won't make sense anymore.
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