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 Dec 2015 null
NV
banged disaster
 Dec 2015 null
NV
I SLAMMED THE DOOR SO HARD, THAT IT COULD HAVE FALLEN OFF IT'S HINGES,
THE SAME WAY I COLLAPSE TO MY KNEES SOMETIMES.
I SLAMMED IT WITH THE KIND OF FORCE THAT IT  TAKES ME TO LOVE, AND GOD KNOWS I LOVE WITH THE POWER OF EARTHQUAKES AND TORNADOS COMBINED.
 Dec 2015 null
Rb
SHE
 Dec 2015 null
Rb
SHE
She is that kind of girl
who burned herself in order
to give others light

She is that kind of girl
who never fails to make
others' laughter shows
although she is bleeding inside

She is that kind of girl
who falls in love
with a guy who alters his mind

She is that kind of girl
who always put a smile
despite the fact that she is fragile

She is the girl
with a million stories untold
but you can't never guess
Because she put a good disguise

a.r
midnight thoughts
 Dec 2015 null
Neo Stargazer
We are the stardust
Packed into bright burning lights
Crossing the night sky
All have the potential to shine.
Not all choose to.
I hope that one day, those I love will find their own light,
so that mine won't burn out trying to save them from their darkness.
 Dec 2015 null
LjMark
Someone asked me the other day
Could I ever date a Transgender girl
I think they expected a No, or Maybe
But a different answer popped out of my mouth
A special friend came to mind
A secret love I have
but mine alone, as she speaks only French
She is transgender, and date her I would
I dream of her nightly
dreams I can't put into words
We trans people speak of masks
Of who we tried to be before
Lying, acting, pretending to be male
With the woman we have always been
Hidden behind masks, confined to a closet

But I know for some it is also a mask
The attempts to look female and pass
To hide the body we hate
To be more the woman that we imagine us to be
But isn't that also a mask
The clothes and makeup, lipstick and wigs
Trying to make our bodies
Match who we are in our minds

This secret love I have, the intimate dreams
I want to take off all the masks
The wigs the makeup the clothes and shoes
I want to be with the person beneath all of the masks
That's who I dream of holding, that's who I long to love

by Lj Mark
These thoughts and feelings were inspired by a friends photo I saw this morning. It is part fiction, part truth, but is all from my feelings.
 Dec 2015 null
effie ebbtide
On my way from DC to Manhattan, the sky an odd indigo.
Got some donuts from the local bakery, which I'm munching on.
Some girl sits next to me.
After a couple hours she dozed off, and I whisper to her:
"You might be stardust, but you're no nebula."
She can't see the window through my silhouette.
I hate that inky nothing, I hate that
shadow, I hate
that silhouette.
Saudade.
 Dec 2015 null
grace
15
 Dec 2015 null
grace
15
I'm 15.
I'm 15 and I'm an alcoholic.
I'm 15 and I've been smoking cigarettes for
a year.
I'm 15 and I've been with more boys then I can count on one hand.
I'm 15 and my preexisting anxiety and depression are becoming too much for me.
I'm 15 and I don't know if I can do this anymore.
I'm 15 and I don't want to be 15.
I'm 15 and I want to be 6.
I want to be 6 when I swore I'd never touch a cigarette in my life.
I want to be 6 when I didn't even know what anxiety was.
I want to be 6 but I'm not.
I'm 15.
I'm 15 and I want to be 28.
I want to be 28 with a man who appreciates my flaws and loves me no matter what.
I want to be 28 drinking a glass of wine or two at dinner, but no more.
I want to be 28 but I'm not.
I'm 15.
I'm 15 and I'm scared.
I'm 15 and I'm scared because I'll never be 6 again, and I'm scared that I might not make it 28.
I'm 15 and I don't want to be 15.
I'm 15 and I want to be.
 Dec 2015 null
L
12/9
 Dec 2015 null
L
It's sad, really.
I wish I could talk about you like I have fond memories of us.
But everything is laced with arsenic.
There's no warmth in my voice at all.
There are things I can't repeat, sunny summer days I can't picture anymore.
It feels like I spent a whole year in a fog.
*It's sad, really.
But I'm not

**
Leigh
 Dec 2015 null
brixton bell
still.
 Dec 2015 null
brixton bell
you are all that matters.
i dream of dark roads, leaving here- this place.
though i've grown accustomed.
in
another world
we are
the heroes.


**brixtonbell.com
 Dec 2015 null
brixton bell
i caught the sun today.
the sputtering car,
as it bumped along
a road long since worn out,
shook me like some
pirate ship ready to desert us.
unfazed, we drove.
the cold month dangled on the
landscape that watched us
from behind glittering car windows,
as they withheld frostbitten gasps
that beat our broken ships
tattered sails.
i remembered loving you. i saw
your eyes the way
you used to look at me.
energy. there is so much here inside of me.
waiting to be discovered, i cried.
my emotions, liquified,
spilled from my eyes and in fear
of you seeing i looked
to the familiar windows cold glass,
and out. to somewhere far away,
where no one but me could touch.
a place of hidden light
and forgotten heartbreak
and the most beautiful words
in the world.
i saw wonderful things in my world-
and for a moment,
i failed to see how things
truly were.
from a distance,
this cloud of darkness
surrounds my reality world.
the sun, a gleaming bright ball of fire,
caught my eye from above.
the window was silent against my fingertips,
and it felt as cold as the snow
that took rest upon it during the
night before.
the sun’s beauty, captured in
my palm, could’ve lived
for years only for me.
instead, i let it go,
and continued to wait for
the amber of my life to surface again
when i could return to my past innocence.
brixtonbell.com
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