To all the laughters that we shared,
Smiles that we tried so hard to keep,
Mean things that we blurt out that we did and didn't mean,
Tears that we wish never existed,
Fights that we fought,
Hearts that we've hurt,
Stories that we lived together,
And ties that we thought would bind us forever...

I'm sorry.
You will be missed,
But that's all where you'll be.
The past that I don't even want to see.

To all the forced laughters that we've had,
Conversations and hang out sessions that feel like an obligation,
Beliefs and ideals that we no longer share,
Inside jokes that start to feel old,
Priorities that we no longer understand,
And plans we no longer want to do,

Thank you.
For making me understand,
That some friendships doesn't always last.

My world has gotten bigger,
And so as yours.
I've met people whom I have connected better,
And so as you.
I've learned to laugh louder,
Cry harder,
Smile wider,
Speak wiser,
And act in foolish manner.
So have you.

So here's to you:
To the acceptance that we would no longer be friends like we used to,
To the curiosity that will always linger,
Wondering about what-ifs and what-could-have-beens,
To embracing the fact that we were always bound to end from the very beginning,
To waving goodbye to the only kind of friendship I knew growing up,
And to loving the growth,
That we both had,
As we fall apart.

I always go back to what I know:
you'll never know unless you try.
So I bathe in the rain
That I only used to watch from the comfort of my home;
Have my body soaked
From the fresh water of the universe;
Walk as fast as I could
To cover the tracks I could
Before they get wash away.

But the rain could also be a storm:
Chasing me in places I don't want to be found;
So I took another step backwards
Instead of stepping out,
Didn't stick out my tongue
To taste the bitterness of the universe.
Bravery could only take me
To places I have considered mine
But even then
They only exist
When familiarity is on the line.

The veil would open,
The veil would close,
The veil was in my skull
And all its icy shores.

Sometimes it freed things,
Sometimes free things freed it.

Sometimes it speaks,
Sometimes it cries,
Sometimes it creates,
And draws all the worst lines.

The veil was my brain,
It protected me to harm,
But sometimes the veil,
Was itself the harm.

Hindi kailan man umiba ang pintig ng puso,
Pusong ikinabit sa mga emosyon,
Emosyon na hindi malaman kung bakit nagsimula,
Nagsimula at bumuhay sa magugulong pangarap,
Pangarap na magmamahal ngunit hindi kayang isuko,
Isuko ang puso para sa iba.

Iba, iyan sila. At iba ka rin sakanila,
Sakanila na nagsasabing darating din ang araw na magmamahal,
Magmamahal ng buong puso at kaluluwa,
Kaluluwang hindi sigurado kung totoo nga ba,
Totoo nga bang may kahati ka,
May kahati ka, at ako nga ba?

Ngunit lumipas ang panahon,
Panahon na nasayang sa paghahanap sa tutugon,
Tutugon sa kaisipang itinatak nila sa isipan,
Sa isipan kong naguguluhan.

Ngunit aking napagtanto,
Napagtanto na hindi lahat iibig sa alam nilang paraan,
Paraan kung saan ang dalawa o higit pang tao ay pupunan ang kakulangan,
Kakulangan na sabi nila'y mabubuo lamang,
Mabubuo lamang kapag nagtagpo ang mga pusong natutong magmahalan.

Ngunit paano nga ba magmahal?
Magmahal ng isinusuko ang lahat,
Lahat na gagawin ko rin sa aking mga kaibigan,
Mga kaibigang handang pakinggan,
Pakinggan tulad ng pakikinig sa boses mo,
Sa boses mo na tila tumugon sa boses ko,
Sa boses ko na bigla nalang din natigilan.

Ngunit hindi ito para sa'yo,
Sa'yo kung saan may nagpatigil ng tinig ko,
Tinig ko na nagtatanong nanaman,
Nagtatanong nanaman kung bakit tila may mali sa sariling pagkakakilanlan,
Pagkakakilanlan sa puso at sa pagmamahal nitong alam.

Isang araw gumising nalang,
Gumising nalang at napagalaman,
Napagalaman na maraming paraan ng pagmamahal,
Pagmamahal na posible minsan,
Minsan... o siguro nga'y kadalasan,
Kadalasan ay iba ang pagkaunawa,
Pagkaunawa sa pag-ibig na pilit nilang itinatatak sa isipan.

I never really liked poems.
Or maybe it's proper to say that I'm not a huge fan.

If it is a piece of music
There's always a chord missing
Wrong rhythm
A bad intonation.

It does not suffice
In describing the myriad of thoughts in my head.
It was always short in line.
Short in feelings.
Too romantic
Or not at all.

But I remember staring at the ceiling
Imagining your smile plastered in it
I started looking for you in poems
I started drafting one
I started describing every parts I could remember
I start loving one.