I search for the last inch of your blanket that isn’t tarnished with my smell
The last part of my shirt that has your scent
The last moment, of us - together, that isn’t cluttered with my guilt
The last of the last, the last of you without my prints
And I beg to let me hold you, I beg to feel your skin
I beg for your forgiveness, and all the nuances within
I beg for you to want me there, I beg for you to stay
But most of all, I beg for you to love me
Before I start to fray.

At night, I get scared
The fairy lights on my walls turn dark
Leaving only a gloomy haze behind
Darkness, yes, that’s what it is
At night, I get lost
Nausea dripping down my cheeks
The trembling of my face
Fear in new ways
And the total distortion of my vision
Makes me wonder, makes me ponder
Makes me wish I had a shell
A shell to hold me down, don’t want to fall
Don’t want to call
Upon your name
But arms over legs - I fall, after all
Not to a bottom, not quite there
Although not quite here
Not sure where
But it is night
And now I’m scared.

Beautiful garden
Don’t ever change
Water your flowers
And don’t rearrange
Keep your distance
From flowers and fury
From roses and sadness
Sunflowers and grief towers
Don’t stop to smell them
Lie down and dwell
Lie down, cherry plum
Lie down, cherry plum.
Cherry plum sweet as whiskey
Whiskey cold as fire
That’s you, cherry plum sweetheart
That’s you, cherry plum love.

A bubble
Shiny, fragile
Easily terrorised, fear that is magnified
Don’t stand so close
Your breath hurts my skin
Your breath hurts my bubble
And what lies within
My bubble is soft, but my bones are of steel
The question remains
Do you want to annihilate my bubble, until all you feel
All you feel is the heat of the fire from my flesh you ignited
And the smoke seeping through the cracks of a giving hand
Do you want to strip me of all that I am
Only for you to be left with embers
Embers from my steel
From the pit of a galaxy
And my unbreakable bones.

We are shadow puppets, you and I
Dancing on the walls after dark
Floating between empty spaces
Surviving off of the single light
The single light which is embers
Embers from a ferocious fire
A fire from our *******
Untamed and free
I seek the rim of your silhouette
Playfully chasing
Painfully embracing
Embracing the darkness and embers thereof
And when our passion runs wild again
When the fire burns brighter and stronger once more
Slowly, we’ll fade out, leave the walls to the brightness
See as it eats us, nothing to discuss
Nothing to say, but a touch left to have
But we’ll meet again, don’t worry, my shadow puppet friend
When the fire burns out, passion is glory
Embers are present, embers are all
And I’ll see your outlines, I’ll hear the shriek of your call
Because what else is there to a shadow
Than the life of a light
A light that we hold
Until the last ember do us part.

Your voice is liquid
Seeping through the cracks of broken bones
Circling cold skin
Reawakening the goosebumps that used to frame my back
That used to frame me
Your voice is desire
Desire of lust
Lust of longing
Longing of former times
Former times filled with liquid
Liquid that runs down my spine and explodes
I’m a million pieces
But a million pieces intertwined with your laugh
A million more filled with your breath
A million, endlessly, in the presence of your heat
You are a fire in the pit of my stomach
Warm, stinging, igniting thick blood
Igniting the coal in my lungs
Igniting what’s left of a frozen fire
Igniting black pupils
Igniting us
And finally, me.

Your words echo in my head
what if I imagined it all?
What if our eyes, tied together like a knot
what if our lips, soft skin meeting hair and clothes
and worst of all
what if our love
is all in my brain?
And when you lay your eyes on me
the only spark you feel
is the buzz from the wine you had last night
and not the electricity between two souls
You and I
together,
until we die.