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May 2018 · 218
stop.
bryn May 2018
my heart is stopped
my brain keeps moving
my eyes are tired
my brain stays awake
my feet can't move anymore
my brain goes further
enough.
just ******* enough.
May 2018 · 224
fuck you.
bryn May 2018
why must you make it your duty to make me miserable?
why?
you think you know everything
and you might have better grades than me,
but flaunting it shows how ignorant you truly are
soooo...
*******.
this is directed to this absolute ***** who makes me feel terrible no matter what i do
May 2018 · 199
tired (pt. 2)
bryn May 2018
i'm tired.
is it too much to ask for sleep?
my brain.
it doesn't stop.
stop talking
it doesn't stop.
just shut up
it doesn't ******* stop
May 2018 · 184
tired (pt. 1)
bryn May 2018
do you ever just get tired?
tired of pretending?
tired of acting like everything's fine?
but also tired of people asking if you're okay?
i don't want to worry you
please don't worry about me
i
*******
love
you
Nov 2017 · 237
Why doesn't he love me?
bryn Nov 2017
Why doesn't he love me?
He looks at this girl
And what does he see?
His sister, a ghost, everything he doesn't want me to be.

He once loved me.
Looked up to me even.
And what did he see?
His role model, flawless, everything he wanted me to be.
Sep 2017 · 238
i n s o m n i a c
bryn Sep 2017
tossing and turning
tucking myself in,
over,
and over,
and over again.
i guess i can't cry myself to sleep,
if i can't sleep at all
i guess i can't be late
if i never go to sleep
i guess i can't even
say the words...
the three words...

insomnia

not
enduring
enough
daytime

help
end my
laughing
poetry
i can't sleep
Sep 2017 · 354
Pain
bryn Sep 2017
"behind my smile
is a hurting heart
behind my laugh
im falling apart
look closer and you will see
the girl i am... isn't me"
Sep 2017 · 193
A Dream
bryn Sep 2017
Too good to be true.
summer,
is too good to be true.
all i needed was a friend
but they live 20 miles away
i can't do this
i

c
a
n
t
imsorry
Jul 2017 · 208
Monster
bryn Jul 2017
Awake me my nightmare,
let me escape this hell,
please,
all i want to be is free.

If only I knew how to fly,
Then I could convince myself,
It isn't my time to die.

*I'm plunging to the ground~
Jul 2017 · 272
Impossible Year
bryn Jul 2017
There's no sunshine,
this impossible year.
Only black days,
and sky grays,
and clouds full of fear,
and storms full of sorrow,
that won't disappear.
Just typhoons,
and monsoons.
This impossible year.
lyrics: Impossible Year by Panic! At The Disco
Jun 2017 · 218
Won't Disappear
bryn Jun 2017
I try to stop
but the feeling
the mood
the stress
the depression
won't disappear
Jun 2017 · 213
Truly Happy (rant-ish poem)
bryn Jun 2017
dust,
dirt,
bags,
work.
stuffed nose,
scratched toes,
all for the sake of the move.
making time for friends
is not an option
so i sit,
and write,
hoping someone will find me,
hold me,
tell me it's okay.
but the people that can,
are packing up.
packing up the rooms,
the beds.
and most importantly the memories.
they tell me i'll make friends wherever i go,
but is that true?
is it really true?
or will i just
sit,
cry,
and not know what to do,
when my friends and i
g r o w   a  p  a  r  t,
find more people,
people better than me,
that they will befriend.
those people will be better than me,
so it make sense why they would leave me for them.
i understand,
i'm alright,
it's my fault for moving
right?
the annoying question;
why are you moving?
that i can't answer,
even though i know the truth.
goodbye my friends,
even if we don't see each other again in this life,
maybe if we don't live around each other in this life,
if we stop talking,
if all i have left are the memories, good or bad,
i will hold on to them,
for this year,
was the year,
i met so many people,
befriended lots,
and was almost,
almost,
truly happy.
i'm going to miss you all, cc, samoo, allie, saoirse, and everyone else i met this year. i hope we still talk and meet up. that has been the one true fear of this move, the fact that i might lose some of you.
Jun 2017 · 402
----------------------
bryn Jun 2017
the snow is cold but i am colder
the sound is buzzing but my mind is louder
the voices
the buzzing
the terrible, terrible sound of her voice.
echoing through my head
telling me to listen
but I will not.

I am the victim.
I am the detective.
I am the suspect.
I am the witness,
of my own crime,
which I have done,
but I will not be there,
to serve my sentence.
Jun 2017 · 234
Cracked
bryn Jun 2017
A hole inside your chest
driving through
the cold
the snow
but the ice breaks
you know
that you will too.
Jun 2017 · 1.6k
Why Worry - Set It Off
bryn Jun 2017
This sinking feeling sets,
It feels just like a hole inside your chest.
I know you're thinking,
No, no, no, no, it is easier said than done,
But please let me attest.
I know it's hard.
You're feeling like you're trapped,
But that's how you react,
When you cannot see the light.
But try and see the light.
I'm tellin' you,
No, no, no, no,
You're the only one
Standing in your way,
Just take a breath, relax, and tell me…

Why?
Please tell me why do we worry?
Why?
Why do we worry at all?
Why?
Just tell me why do we worry?
When worry is never helping tell me
Why?
Why worry at all?

Why do we insist,
On crossing bridges that do not exist?
Let's take these issues
Step by step by step, to work it out,
Day by day by day we're falling down,
But life goes on.
I've got some questions,
Are you sick of feelin' sorry?
Uh huh,
And people sayin' not to worry?
Uh huh,
Sick of hearing this hakuna matata motto,
From people who won the lotto,
We're not that lucky.
Have you noticed that you're breathing?
Uh huh,
Look around and count your blessings,
Uh huh,
So when you're sick of all this stressin' and guessin' I'm suggestin' you turn this up and let them hear you sing it.

Why?
Please tell me why do we worry?
Why?
Why do we worry at all?
Why?
Just tell me why do we worry?
When worry is never helping tell me
Why?
Why worry at all?

Chin up, quit actin' like you're half dead.
Tears can only half fill how you’re feelin'.
Don't worry, be happy baby.
Stand up, life is too **** short,
That clock is ticking.
Man up, if ya feel me,
Everybody sing it.

Why?
Please tell me why do we worry?
Why?
Why do we worry at all?
Why?
Just tell me why do we worry?
When worry is never helping tell me
Why?
Why worry at all?

Why?
Please tell me why do we worry?
Why?
Why do we worry at all?
Why?
Just tell me why do we worry?
When worry is never helping
I'm not buying what they're selling
So if worry's never helping tell me
Why,
Why?
Worry at all?
all credit to set it off this song was just stuck in my head
Jun 2017 · 185
Playground Times
bryn Jun 2017
the simpler,
kinder,
funner,
nicer times.
the times when we could
relax,
sit back,
and play,
in the playground times.
Jun 2017 · 324
leather jacket
bryn Jun 2017
the leather jacket
sitting
watching
looking
searching
for answers.

the white jeans
hanging
knowing
wondering
stained
with tears

the black keyboard
listening
tapping
pattering
*patter
patter
patter
im bored
May 2017 · 238
Battery
bryn May 2017
10%
9%
8%
7%
6%
5%
4%
3%
2%
1%

dead

1%

but wait

2%

what's this?

3%

it's charging back up

4%

maybe i could too...

5%

until i'm

6%

100%

7%

or at least

8%

somewhere

9%

almost at 10

10%

i have reached a small portion

11%

of what my best could be

12%

**keep going
i was happy yesterday for once
May 2017 · 591
Broken
bryn May 2017
winds that blow
mountains of fright
and you know
It won't be alright
I'm not as sad i was last week or the week before. I mean i'm happier but not completely. help.
May 2017 · 677
Smash
bryn May 2017
SMASH*
SPLATTER*

Cries
May 2017 · 325
Dying On The Inside And Out
bryn May 2017
feeling
sickness
death

i sit in my room
my stubborn closet
waves
the door open
even though
it should be closed.
taunting me,
for i cannot get up,
for i am dying,
i am sick,
and i am feeling.
the emotions of life.
sadness
happiness
angry
but those are the basic human emotions.
the ones you are expected to feel,
the ones that make you human
but what if you feel only one of those,
and sort of a mix of that one
with the others.
sadness.
is the one feeling i feel,
mixed in with anger to make
hatred
sadness.
mixed in with happiness to make
desire
sadness.
mixed in with sadness to make
depression
which is what i feel
the most out of all of these.
depression
is what i feel.
May 2017 · 282
mom
bryn May 2017
mom
"mommy am i a big girl yet"
is what i used to say,
back in the innocent times of 7 years old.

"mom when i grow older will i drive"
is what i used to say,
which she would respond with a sweet yes

"mom can you help me with my homework?"
is what i used to say,
back when i wasn't afraid to ask for help

"mom... actually never mind"
i would say, just a few years ago
and she would smile and say tell me later then

"mom... i wish... i had been a better daughter"
is what i am going to think, when it's too late
and she can't hear me.
she can't smile her sweet smile
and she can't hold me in her arms
and tell me everything will be
**o k a y
i started crying writing this... i love my mom so much but i'm such a terrible daughter and i'm sorry mom. i'm sorry.
May 2017 · 214
Untitled
bryn May 2017
screeches
scratches
chills
fright
I wake up again and again
all through the night
i got 3 hours of sleep last night
May 2017 · 305
Streamers and Cake
bryn May 2017
texts from everyone
decorated places
Instagram shoutouts
all through the night
and I awake
covered in streamers and cake
happy birthday allie!
May 2017 · 340
The Choice
bryn May 2017
alive
but trapped

dead
but free

the choice is yours

the fear of falling apart~~~~~
May 2017 · 216
Darkened Leaf
bryn May 2017
sway
swing
swoosh
SLAP*
gray skies
blackened soul
green nature
but not the green that is alive,
but the kind that is dead.
rusty,
brownish,
grayish,
green.
May 2017 · 202
Late
bryn May 2017
go fast
run swift
don't show
you're late
i'm so bored oops
May 2017 · 1.2k
Closed
bryn May 2017
closing in on me
c        l        o        s        e        r
c      l      o­      s      e      r
c    l    o    s    e    r
c  l  o  s  e  r­
closer
i used to have space
now i'm squished in my own thoughts,
the people around me,
the loud noises,
and the quiet.
the quiet is like your best friend.
the one who lives across the country.
the one who you wish you saw more
the one you wish you had
by your side
all
the
time
help me
May 2017 · 491
Suicide note for a friend
bryn May 2017
I didn't let them in
I knew they wouldn't understand
they said they could
but I can't do it to them
I can't let the burden of myself onto them
everyone's cruel words
climbed up my legs,
swam past my spine,
and planted themselves on my shoulders
where they stay.
everything hateful goes there
I don't know how to help anyone
even though i'm the one who really needs it
I called for help
but by the time people listened

**it was too late
love you M, I couldn't go on without you. I know you're not on HP but maybe that's the reason i wrote this. because I don't want you to know what I think
May 2017 · 288
isolated me
bryn May 2017
on the moon
seeing the stars
watching the other planets
floating by
they look so happy
why can't I be
but
i don't know them.
i've never been on their surface
or their core
I don't know what's happening
with them
with their moons
with people I could have known when I was younger
but just don't remember.
in another lifetime,
i could have been them,
and they could have been me
but deep down,
I will never know who they are
unless I find the courage to try,
but something is holding me back
something deep inside of me
something called

anxiety
depression
and the fact that I know
that they wont like me.
i tried
May 2017 · 912
Nothing Is Wrong
bryn May 2017
Nothing is wrong
Everything is right
I will be fine
Leave me alone
Just stop trying
I can't be helped
no one will listen

**not even you
I've been super depressed all day what do i do
May 2017 · 258
Gayrl
bryn May 2017
gay
or
girl

both
or
neither

one
or
the other

in between
or
some other form
May 2017 · 228
Scatter
bryn May 2017
scattered pieces all over the floor.
the cracked floor that I call my mental stability

watching as it dissolves in the water
the salty water that I call my tears

falling apart in this dammed place.
this dammed place called planet earth.
help
Apr 2017 · 911
Blue
bryn Apr 2017
blue eyes
gradient
marble
beautiful
Apr 2017 · 557
Growing
bryn Apr 2017
how does it feel
to spring up
to stop old habits
and gain new
you go through 'phases'
that end up being more than just
phases.

how does it feel
to spring up
to start new things
and give up
you go through 'friends'
who end up being less than
friends.

how does it feel
to spring up
to realize life
doesn't always go your way
you go through looks
that end up being you hating yourself
even more than before

how does it feel
to spring up
and die
and be happy
with this version
of yourself
i m   s o r r y
Apr 2017 · 610
Pressure
bryn Apr 2017
knowing
but waiting

screaming
but not showing it

calling for help
but not really

listening
but writing this poem

covered in a shell
as one by one,
bubbles join.
i hope they will go away,
but I know i will pop before they do.
god i feel so pressured at school
Apr 2017 · 377
Blood
bryn Apr 2017
drip
drip
drip
red
too much.
too much blood.
help me
Apr 2017 · 286
Write
bryn Apr 2017
how to write:
1. paper
2. pencil
3. write

**but how
i should be doing my work but i'm not oops
Apr 2017 · 438
Eyes Even Drier
bryn Apr 2017
Drier than before
but no one listens

no one

listens

i tried

and i'm done

n o   o n e   l i s t e n s
help
Apr 2017 · 338
Untitled and Unwanted
bryn Apr 2017
wondering
wondering
wondering
thinking
thinking
thinking
confusio­n
confusion
confusion
sadness
sadness
sadness

no
please
­no

g o o d b y e
Apr 2017 · 333
Sleep
bryn Apr 2017
Close your eyes
Count to ten
Think happy...
happy...
what is this 'happy'
does it really exist?
how does one know...
when they're...
h a p p y

and when will I know

p l e a s e   t e l l   m e
h o w   t o   b e   **h   a   p   p   y
Apr 2017 · 417
Dry From Tears
bryn Apr 2017
my eyes
dry from tears
people ask about my dry skin
but,
i can't answer truthfully
i want to
but i can't

i must hide this side of me
with a fake smile
and a pretend personality

and

a n   u n r e a l   m e
Apr 2017 · 293
Grades
bryn Apr 2017
Self confidence leaks from the tight plastic bag
that has held you together for so long
slowly filling up
grade by grade

telling yourself you will do better next time

then,

doing even worse.
Apr 2017 · 230
Friends
bryn Apr 2017
Friends are everything
But nothing at all
Apr 2017 · 377
Internet
bryn Apr 2017
Words
Pictures
Ignorance

All On The Internet

Information
Videos
Lies

All On The Internet

Friends
Family
Enemies

All On The Internet

Some Hate

Some Love

Some Don't Care

Some Care Too Much

I s   i t   a   g o o d   t h i n g   o r   a   b a d   t h i n g?

T h e   i n t e r n e t   c o n t r o l s   u s

B u t   i t   a l s o   g i v e s   u s   a   w a y   t o   c o n n e c t

Connect
C O N N E C T

Collections
Of
Nothing
Not
Everything
Crying
Tears
it may not make sense, but neither does the internet
Apr 2017 · 307
Heart Attack
bryn Apr 2017
bump
bump
bump
bump
bump
bump
bump
bump
bump
bu­mp
bump

silence

bump

silence

bump

BEEP

­*silence

silence

silence
Apr 2017 · 380
Rain
bryn Apr 2017
drip
drop
drip
drop
drip*
drop

Filthy
Words
Keep­
You
Clean
From
Harm

Dotted
Windows
Eat
You
Up

All
You
Know
Is
­Fear
Apr 2017 · 349
Invalidated
bryn Apr 2017
Invalidation**
no matter who or what you are
you will be invalidated
invalidation is a strong use of rejection
words are invalidated
thoughts are invalidated
feelings are invalidated
life is invalidated
death is invalidated
history is invalidated

everyone invalidates
everyone gets invalidated
whether you realize or not

Invalidation is everywhere
I get invalidated everyday
Apr 2017 · 891
H u r r y
bryn Apr 2017
quick, hurry up.
If you don't,
People around will try to stop it.
Hurry.
Please.
I say i'm sorry
But then i don't stop.
h e l p   m e   p l e a s e
s e n d   m e   t o   w h e r e   m o s t   p e o p l e
d o n ‘ t   e v e r   t h i n k   o f.

ikeepgettingfurtherandfurtherawayfrommygoals
hurry.
actually,­
F   o   r   g   e   t         i         s   a   i   d         a   n   y   t   h   i   n   g
**** me please
Apr 2017 · 310
Lesbian
bryn Apr 2017
Lesbian. I hate that word
Everyone thinks. But,
Sorrow fills me every time
Bryn is a girl’ is what the word implies.
I** am not a girl.
A girl is not what i am, what i am is myself.
No. No more titles. I’m done with the titles.
help me
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