Every night, I felt more alive
During the day, my bones crumble
My eyes hurt and muscles ache
I live for the my pen sketching lines
I entrust my passion with my skills
I never thought I could actually execute this?

There are times I party until collapsing
Funny how I fill myself with alcohol
but fall on my knees at two
I'm so young but ashamed of it

It's so hard for me to accept before
all these words that I should learn more
Six times a day I spent mourning
instead of motivating myself in the morning

At the table, they tell me what to do
But ****, what should I do?
I feel myself fading from existence
Do I still have a chance?
I'm already twenty
And I'm still here sitting pretty.

Scary it is, I feel scared to find myself alone
unlike before where I enjoy being lone
My generation and the younger ones
Are far more notorious than what you think

I want to go somewhere I could call my own
A perfect place for me to settle down
but I could not imagine myself living in a mansion.
You might think I'm insane,
but my heart feels lonely between the stone walls

I spent my life looking for happiness
I was left nothing but expectations getting ripped
My life missed all the opportunities and second chances
I seek for what I should have rather felt.

My hands feel the unwanted fire seeping inside me
All these losing myself and stress gets me
I don't know why I am like this,
I get called weak by many
but I'm a hero of my story
I get called wicked by some
But ****, I am the all of it.

The nights I spent inking papers
I saw myself getting exhausted to achieve perfection
should I give up? I think I should
So I dropped my pen and pursued something else

I stood in front of strangers and led them
I listen to their voices, but I couldn't handle my own
My feet started to ran away from myself
I was **** afraid of my ghost

I saw my feet got bruised
I lost everything and got myself abused
I spent countless nights over my heart
who beats for uncertainties
but what a fool, I held tightly to it.

For once, my head thought my heart is my hero
It's hilarious seeing my weep to over a heroine
I thought and believed was mine,
I realized she belonged to herself

My body got wasted with no alcohol
Drained from lemons, I kept on getting
I feel like bursting everything out
but If I do, I will lose it again.

A day ago, I got a memo that I should get it
I should catch my superior's drift
That playroom does not fit my age anymore.
But my heart thought this was a perfect place?
Should I let my alter ego fall in peace?


I forgot I was not anymore young
But I'm still embarrassed
My mind caught the idea of drifting soon
I should retract everything and come back to my roots
because I couldn't stay in paradise forever

My face should not be shield by art
instead I should make myself my masterpiece
What the **** have I been doing all my life?
I regret that I let myself lose everything.

The door's closed
opportunity knocked
I want myself getting hit
by harsh words to pull a new me
I never knew that anywhere is a paradise for me
If acceptance's stamped on my feet,
Morals and knowledge circulate harmoniously inside.

Keeping my head up is what I need,
To leave the paradise, I've been
The people who had lived and died
Will soon return to their lives
Carrying nothing on our backs
But memories of the place we will leave behind.

No one ever gave the luxury that his greedy heart desired.
And so he chose to become the creature of fire.
The flames which they whispered
To be destructive and vicious.
His eyes mirrored the depths of hell
That was once angelic and precious.

His heart has been corrupted and withered.
Now his lips spoke evil for any man to do harm.

I knew him when he was young
He was a noble
But now the doubtful,
The altruist and witty since youth
Turns out to be someone who will deny the truth.

I came from a generation that stuck in between the nostalgia,
The grandeur of aesthetics and hypocrisy in the genitalia
Too many amateurs which they called pretenders
Too many pretenders which they called profounders
Of Artistry in every countries culture.

I am not the most impressive writer just like Shakespeare
Neither close to the modern writers on which they give praise
My age is a few leaps away to the end of my youth,
At twenty, I found words of impulsiveness and courage elicit from my mouth.

I am just someone who embodied the face of my leagues
They call me the soul of their generation as they please
I may write pretentiously, but I speak for the marginalized
I dream for my inked piece would reach them, I hope to get them amazed

I am the soul my generation
A little careless with my actions, telling others I'm brave
A little wild, yet I screamed that nothing bounds me
A little innocent with life's surprises, and so I apologized and called it as a mistake.
I'm a few every people that you've met.
I carry the pieces of the individuals who have touched me
I flow like the river which takes parts of the fallen objects in me.
Vulnerable to anything, Easy to gain what the heart desires
Misunderstood like the innocent criminals,
Goes along with changes
I'm maybe everything they thought I am
I'm maybe someone you never thought I am
Or nothing in with your choices
But one thing's for sure; I'm free.

The man gave him food to dine
But he rejected it and said he's fine

The man comes back, gave him clothes to feel comfortable
But he folded them and returned them to the hands of fortunate.

The man tried to offer an of belongings for him to live well
But the poor man rejected and said, "This isn't fair."

Confused and offended,
the fortunate began to question the other.
"Poor fellow, Why do you choose to suffer?"

He took his hand before saying,
"why do you need to offer your belongings
when can you teach me how to achieve such things?
Teach me not how to beg, my friend.
But bring me to my senses to be responsible and let me mend
All broken dreams that I once saw in my slumber,
Teach me how to strive
So I could bring you pride."