"I can't relate to the people in my class"
"I've liked him for a long time"
'Why doesn't he love me?"
"He kissed me you know? On new years"
"I'm so glad you're my friend"
'Who needs boys when you can have bros for life?"
"You guys are my best friends"
"Im so glad you like him"
"When can I meet him?"
"Can I do the Penelope Cruz dance in front of him?"
"I heard what happened at the party"
"How could you be so selfish"
"I'm never getting the guy I like to meet you"
"You're such a *****"
"I'm so much hotter than you"
"We will always be bros"
"Don't worry you will find someone better"
"I'm so happy you like him!"
"He sounds wonderful"
"I met him on tinder!"
'He's so cool"
"Can I please meet him?"
"I really like him"
"You're okay right?"
"I told him you're my best friend and I could never hurt you"
"I'm in an open relationship with that other guy"
"I hope it doesn't affect mine and his relationship"
"We made out that day"
"He said I was the best he ever had"
"He isn't talking to me too"
"I don't care there are better fish out there"
"I knew you liked him alot"
"I was selfish"
"I didn't care"
"I was fascinated by him"
"I'm sorry"
"I'll never do it again"
"Why won't you answer my calls"
"You're humiliating me"
"You have no right to judge me"
"You're the last person who should have a problem with this"
"Stop making this an issue"
"I never judged you"
"I did nothing wrong"
"I don't care what you think"
"Please talk to me"

Words typed in a haste excitement
Ignorant to the woman on the other side
Ideas attacking her feed
Uncaring of the broken pieces of her soul

Facebook pinging like a shrill cuckoo bird
Reality crashing like fallen jenga pieces

Instagram popping with pretentious new pictures
Eyes shutting the painful past memories

Twitter tweeting like a babe  hungry for milk
Body twitching to the tune of ancient whistles

The virtual screaming all day of accomplishments, love and money
The self turning to final dust at the turn of this technological century

He picked them with care
Love not being the only reason of choice
Conditions always had to be met
In his case
But with an expectation to break them

He picked them with a collector's precision
Carefully sifting through their qualities
Ensuring only the best remained
With their own true uniqueness shinning out

He picked them to be his anchor
A new facet to add to the list of qualities
Building up his own individuality
By slowly slicing away their own

He picked them deliberately
To steal away parts of their souls
In the end leaving him fuller
While they lamented over an unknown loss

And then she closed her eyes
To have every fantastical wonderment reminded
A promise from nature's own hallowed mother
To never be forgotten
A vow to remain a flower child
Til the final existence of time

his lips met mine in a hasty inconsideration
as he moved on from me
energy coursing through his veins
a destiny long foretold
waiting for him to fulfill it

his arms sought me out
against the infinite possibilities keeping us apart
tracing to memory every insignificant curve
a final wordless farewell
as the impatient future ****** him in

his body felt so close to me
a mere inches away in my mind
as i watched from afar
the cosmic powers lending their blessings
as he walked down that lonely path
fulfilling the promises of ancient men

without a backward turn he left
leaving behind his broken human heart
a small sacrifice he believed
to save the millions
who had long since awaited his return

only one remained conscious
of the humanity that still lived within him
disregarding the divine claims of foolish wise men
she watched in a trance like horror

the humanity within expelled viciously
his energy expanded bursting into a powerful flame of terrifying beauty
and in a flash nothing remained
the destiny had been fulfilled
a prophecy finally complete

yet as the world rejoiced wildly
a new found existence to celebrate
only one remained quiet
shuddering sobs slowly giving way
to a deathly silence that lasted unendingly

she closed her eyes from the evil sights
of selfish men rejoicing
and thought of the one who had brought them salvation
whose selfless love revived them
but more so
she remembered the boy she loved
who now was forgotten by human existence
save her soul
whose vow to always remember remained true
to the last breaths of her body

and further still
as her soul left the wretched existence
with a renewed strength
to search forever the ends of the universe
for the lost beloved soul
of the chosen boy

Sitting together cross legged
Our naked bodies just inches away
Lungs breathing in the same stale air
Hearts beating at a slightly erratic pace
Mine vehemently moving forward
Determined foolishly to make the most
Of the possible slipping final days

Looking up
My eyes gaze upon his body
One I believed to be the epitome of beauty
Stopping finally at his face
I sigh with resign
A lone tear making its way down my scarred cheeks
It’s not fair I think
This possibly being our last time
For I doubt I’d let him stay once it was over

So I look back at that face
With a determined promise
Memorizing every line and curve
From the soft yet strangely spikey hair
Wild eyebrows that tell stories of his travels
Warm eyes overflowing with love
For a foolish dying girl
A nose with a shadow of a joker
Hiding in its contours
Deep dark lips that whisper my name
A prayer for him to hope for more time

This face with its sleepless dark circles
Warm browness and scraggy beard
I hold in my weak spidery fingers
I want this to be last memory
Before the darkness engulfs me
So when I open my eyes each day
You’ll be by my side no matter what
I think with a childish hope

My words become incoherent
As weakness seeps swiftly into my body
Reducing my strong resolve to dust
I fall back into an ocean of tears
On your arms cannot pull me out of
They take you away and strap me in
Only the cold pinch of a needle
Having the power to soothe my wrecked soul

With a struggle I open my eyes
Barely managing it for a few moments
Disappointed with plane whiteness
I give in to the awaiting darkness
They wheel me out to my doom
The decision had been made
The papers signed in finality
With a stroke of ink they had decided my fate

Wheeling me out to sterile cruelty
I drift away helplessly
As inhuman white beings surround me
Slicing my body open
Now finally with inked permits
To take away a part of my soul
Stealing all the colours and faces from me
And subjecting me to an infinite depth of black

My body survived
The cancer had finally died
Yet I felt no proud survivor’s strength
Only the hollow emptiness of this new dark world
I could think of
Voices called out of the dark
Warm arms reaching out to hold me
But their faces no longer could appear
They all were the same to my darkness

Until I heard him walk in again
His quiet orders for others to leave
Rang through my ever inquisitive ears
His soft rustles confused my mind
Until I felt his warm body engulf me
His lips whispering his prayer
Calling my fiery soul back from the depths

My sightless eyes felt a surprising wet
And from the dark depths a face appeared
One I feared had forever left me
With a cry my spidery fingers held on
Drinking in thirstily his warmth
My mind now singing into the darkness
He’s back
And in that terrified moment
I knew it was not the end

With a determined ****
I pushed my body off the comforts of my bed
Arm reaching out uncertainly for a support
With my weak hands engulfed in his
Legs gingerly touching the bare tiled floors
I jumped off
And took my first step
Towards a renewed life

One year later
Staring at past scribbles
I wonder
Do you remember our memories?
The old cruel words and actions thrown recklessly
A product of our youthful insecurities
That pushed us away
Almost an eternity it felt

One year later
I sit down to continue
A story I penned for us
An idea or perhaps a hope
Drawing up a new future for us both
One where we didn’t have to remain apart
One where life pushed our souls back together

One year later
I realize with a certain vague sadness
Those words penned down
In old ink pens were not for glory
Or written with an aim at success
Rather a tribute to us
An innocent girl’s wish I guess
To create a reality with you in it

One year later
Things are much more complex than they ever were
We’re back together, in a way
Not how my meticulous mind had wished it to be
Not how I had ever thought we could end up
We’re back but still apart
With a crashing sense of clear reality
I realize
What was could never be again

One year later
It is a bitter sweet remembrance
New words penned down
About the same old wild beings
Into the adult world we tumbled in
New memories and decisions undertaken
Discovering new facets to life
We grow again

One year later
I still love you
And your affections remain the same
Moving forward on uncertain paths
Still apart
But in a way,
Always together