I know right now the last thing you could ever want
Is something from me
I'm sure you're readying yourself to block me
Across every forum possible
Snipping away every cord of connection from me
Erasing our memories though how colourful they were
The deals the promises the kisses
The looks the hands the love
You wish to forget it all
Focusing only on the darkness
In a ploy to remove my existence from your life
It is your choice to do so if you wish
But rash cruel decisions we always regretted
A field I have far too much experience in
Though you do not wish to acknowledge
It to me anymore
I shall say it again
I love you

There are many kinds of loves in this world
and not every one is meant to last
But it doesn't for a second mean it isn't important
You ask what was the point of it?
Well the same can be said about life could it not?
What is the point if in the end we all have to die?
The reason the answer my sweet boy
Is that it's an experience
We need all kinds of loves in our lives
It helps us grow, lights a fire inside us
Fixes our wounds and gives us
Pages of memories crucial to our existence
When you have loved someone
No matter what happens, it never dies
Your heart just grows larger  
fills more people inside it

I promised you once
When you looked into my eyes and held my body
You asked me to never let you go
So I won't. Even if you push me away I will hold on
I'll always be there for you
Whenever you need me I'll come back
And if you wish to not have to keep in touch I won't
Though it would hurt me a great deal to do so
But il always wait this promise isn't a lie
I shall wait and welcome you
Whenever you wish to come back with open arms

We have far too little time on this earth
To spend it in hatred
I wish you wouldn't
*** I don't. Couldn't. Even if I tried.
Our end had its coming. But it isn't one
With a finality
Honestly
I'm glad we didn't walk away that day
I'm glad I held on
And I tell you this I meant every word
But I guess as humans we aren't perfect
But I'm glad I got one more week with you
To kiss you
To remind you that I loved you
To hold you in my arms
It was never about exploring or other men
It never could have been
We were I guess just too extreme for eachother
And my own fuckedupness
which you know only a shred of

All I wanted to say is
I wish you the happiest of lives
You are one of the most brilliant men I have met
I believe in you completely
No failure will ever hold you down
You are destined to be brilliant.
You just have to believe
You are whole. And beautiful and perfection.
You have no idea about the number of tears I shed
More for my loss of soul friend
Than for a loss of lover
You've made me laugh and cry and angry and smile so much
these past months
You made a dent in my soul
Helped me grow and become a better person
I will always be grateful for your strength
For your love and for your belief

You are one of the best men I know
You will remain in my heart
and I shall never erase your memories
They rest forever with me
Please try not to think too harshly of me
I wasn't enough for you and couldn't make you happy
That is why it had to end
I want to see you happy
You deserve it completely
and I won't hold you back
I give you all my love
And hope sincerely each passing day
That some day
One day
I can meet you again.

You ask me what I want
In an exasperated tone
A seemingly obvious sign I believe
Of your unwillingness to listen to my feelings

What I want?
I want you to walk through that door
With only me in your sight
Gather me up in your strong arms
Take a deep breath
Filling your lungs with my scent
And then kiss me
In a way you never have before
No holds barred
No care of broken hearts and bones

I want your lips to kiss my body
Your teeth to bruise my skin
Not in an attempt to lay claim
But in a desperate hope
To leave those marks as reminders
Of your unwavering love
Your crave for my body
Your want to merge with my soul

I want you to prove it to me
In a way words never could
Once and for all
Your real feelings for me

I just want you to be honest
Bare your self to me
Naked and proud
No hesitation to hide behind
And finally be able to make believe
In a way your words could never prove
That you love me

If I am being honest with myself
Truly and undeniably so
I'd admit that I feel us waning
Those passionate emotions are no longer
A part of us
There's this force that's pushing us away
And until now I hadn't felt it
I wonder who's to blame for it
And I guess truthfully it's us both
I put too much hope into you
My expectations on the higher sides of things
I tried to give you every bit of me
More than I could even spare
And foolishly hoped to receive the same

And you on the other hand always
Had good intentions
You promised me love
You swore to me happiness
You chalked out a dream
And told me it would be reality
Yet you couldn't
It was an impossible sworn promise
That couldn't ever be fulfilled

And all that seems left is emptiness
What was supposed to be a relieving time of happiness
Has turned into a mundane darkness
Streaked in a fear and confusion
Of what my reality really is
This is the only way I can put in words
How I feel
And to tell you this pains me
For I know you won't understand
And I guess it's cruel to say it out loud

But when I look at us
I no longer can see happiness
Just a numb confusion
For my love for you still rings true
Yet everything else lies in shambles
And I wonder was love ever enough?
For now
And even for the future?

And I love you
Everyday
Even when the floods wash away humanity
I will love you
When the air turns poisonous and steals it from our lungs
You will still take away my breath
When the grounds open up and eat all the vanity we created
Your beauty will shine bright as the only thing that ever mattered
When the cruel fires turn to ash all emotion and care
Your touch will reignite my own unwavering love for you
When darkness will turn out the individuality of our souls
Yours will break apart and merge with my own
Pumping back the memories I almost forgot
I love you till the end of time
And till the universe rips itself apart
I love you when new life slowly sparks up
Atoms joining in a billion year pilgrimage
Till we finally find our bodies and reattach our souls
Strengthen the bond
And our love will  revive the unbroken promise
And live on infinitely

After awhile you realise
In the end, its just you
All those times spent mean nothing
Those human priorities  
That meant so much to you
They feel nothing for you
Its all about what's in your wallet
No care of the feelings that stay hidden
Within the deep dark quarters of your heart

In the end
It's up to you to do what you must
To reach those dreams you dreamt
All those years on a tears ridden bed
People will use up all your life source
A simple recharge for their own
You have to step up and stop
Stop the unconditional love

It's time
They knew your worth
It's time they feared your power
The strength and talent that resides inside
One you forgot you had for years
It waits to be called upon
To rise up and rebuild yourself

You deserve all you dreamt of
And with a sprinkle of self belief
And a splash of courage
Those dreams will finally
Merge into the fabric of time
And transform into a reality
One you worked your body to death for
The one you were destined for.

I almost kissed your friend that night
As the warm night crept on
Hazy music being grooved to
Long limbs entranced in the rhythm
His encouraging smile amused me
Those uncoordinated moves encouraged me
We let loose our wild side for all to see
No insecurities holding us back
And when you strayed away to unknown company
I wondered vaguely
Of the possibility of him
That drunken smile a fascinating attraction
But as the final seconds of the year strained by
It was in your arms I stood
Your warm face my fingers touched
Your lips my own kissed

A pause of hesitance ignored by you
As a fleeting thought of my new attraction
Raced by
But in the end
It was to you I went
For it is you that I held the possibility of hope
And maybe a spark of love

Its crazy that I dreamt of you last night
After all the brutally sharp words
The physical bruises the hurt
A bond seemingly broken to its core

I dreamt of you wanting to kiss me
As we sat the present racing through us
The look in your eyes were hesitant and honest
My own thoughts though muddled and confused

I dreamt of us together that night
Even  though my heart confessed to another
My emotions were true and clear
Until hazy dreams  brought up a forgotten past

I dreamt that night of things I chose to forget
I relived a part of me that was lost in the past
In a conscious reality now I sit
So many faces locked in my mind

Wondering endlessly
How many do I love tonight?