later that night
i held an atlas in my lap
ran my fingers across the whole world
and whispered
where does it hurt? it answered everywhere
everywhere

I told you I love winter,
and you thought that will change
when the cold numbs my feet
but it didn't

I told you I love vacations
and you thought that will change
when long vacations leave me unproductive
but it didn't

I told you I love you
and you thought that will change
when you break my heart
but it didn't

Loving you was like loving winter
a constant in my equation

and although I was never really great at math
I learned how to make a system of two equations

you are not a constant in my life's equation

**but you are a constant in my heart's equation

And as you held your bags
preparing to leave,

I felt pain

the kind of pain you feel
when a terrible bruise starts to fade away
when you know the worst has passed

don't you get it?
you were my bruise

and despite the pain I felt
I am truly glad you left

If you keep wanting what you don't have,
*you'll never have what you want

I wonder what heaven is like
is it really great as it seems?
Is everyone forever young and beautiful?
Do you meet people from your dreams?
Does God really hold you in his arms
as he welcomes you home for good?
Is heaven really full of love and hope
or is it sadly just misunderstood?
I wonder if it snows in heaven
Winter is my favorite season
I wonder if I were to sit on a cloud
would God sit next to me and tell me that he loves me for no reason?
I wonder if you have thoughts in heaven
and if so do bad thoughts disappear?
I wonder if you could really fly
even if flying is your biggest fear
I wonder if God would even let me into heaven
he really should send me to hell
Where am I going to go when I die?
Right now I can't even tell
I don't know what is going to happen to my soul
when I take my last breath for good
Is there really even a heaven?
Maybe I should go find out

I think love is stupid sometimes
The way it messes with your emotions is not right
I hate when you fall for someone
you think they love you back but they don't
The only reason why you know that is because you caught them somewhere with another girl
Did it break your heart?
Did it make you cry?
Did seeing the one you love with someone else tear your world apart?
Yes, yes and yes
Do you still love that man?
Yes.
Why?
Why are women like that?
Why do we waste our time loving men that don't love us?
We ask ourselves these questions and our answers are?
We don't know.
Why is love complicated?
Nobody knows.
That is why I think love is stupid...

Sometimes