I need to find new ways to express
the same way I've felt year after year.
Unique combinations of perfect poetry
that somehow convey exactly what I go through on a day to day basis.

This is me once again trying to shoot that target,
even if I never get the chance to yell bullseye.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

I miss the sparks we had in every moment together, the ones that ignited our love to burn ferociously blue, not a gentle red.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

That was great but I think I missed, I'll give it another try.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

There is no remedy to prescribe for this disease of a life you left me lost in. All I can hope for now is that these words navigate their way onto your screen.

I design maps in every poem I jot down, with the illusion that someday you WILL find the path back to us.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

No... that one was accurate, but I'll try to be more precise.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

I falsify myself anytime someone looks at me by wearing a mask that I'm not sure I can ever take off.

I don't have the courage to do that, because there's not a right way to explain how such permenant blemishes didn't start off as birthmarks.  They don't even look like scars, but rather lesions where you chose to purposely poison every inch of my being.   

My only method of eradicating you from my body was to turn my emotional pen and ink into something that I'm not embarrased to show the world.

My tattoos are etched so that I can finally decide what I look like on the outside, the person I saw myself becoming before I met you. Although, even these painful shades I continue forcing myself to endure won't hide the knowledge I am left blinded by.
 
We both know the real ones were engraved a long time ago in spaces so buried, so bottomless that not even the busiest gravedigger could stumble upon them.

- - - - - - - - - -

That felt like a closer hit.

Next time I decide to load my handgun I'll make sure to take a deep breath and focus, maybe then can I actually shoot the center of these criminal emotions that ****** me time and time again.

I live in this fantasy world,
you see.
An imaginary time of lent,
in my total control.
One where instead of giving up sugar,
and sweets,
I am able to give up my emotions,
all of them.
I need to forget what it was like to
be happy.
I need to learn how to be angry with you,
not yearnful.
I need to psyche myself into believing...
this feelings ends.

If only for fourty days and fourty nights,
I'd give my love for you up in a heartbeat.

If only you were like my appendix,
then I could tear you out and somehow live.

But I'm left with you as a literal piece of my heart,
I bleed slowly everyday we aren't together.

It took only a few seconds to
f
a
l
l
in love with you.
____________
It took only a few seconds for us to be,

meyou

, side by side.  
____________
It took only a few seconds for you to
d
r
o
p
me from your life.
_____________
Why can't it take only a few seconds to pick
myself
mysel
myse
mys
my
m
up again?

Entangled.
       In your web of truths. Or are they lies?

It is inevitable that
there comes a time
in everyone’s life
that they must
endure a hardship.
The strong and successful
take this hard-ship
and turn themselves
into somewhat
of a Captain Hook,
basically taking the role as
the only person that can
guide their boat
out of the storm.
Similar to roaming
the oceans for weeks,
there comes days
where unexpected blocks
attempt to take a
stab at our vessels.
Science tells us that
with punctures to
our arteries we bleed out.
Use this vital fluid,
mix it with the
very drops of tears
that shed from your baby blues,
and construct a potion.
Witches use this
technique for self pleasure,
which is probably
what you should do.
If anyone tries to
hurt you again
then slip in a
sip of your produced toxic tonic.
Rebuild your barriers
and do not allow anyone
to break it down until you have
total trust in them.
There will come
a day much like
1989 for Berlin,
where the process for
dismantling your wall
will come to pass.
Until then just
never forget the
small things in life
that make you who
you are.
I have this power
that allows me to
look into the
future and witness
someone’s fate.
All I can tell you
is that you can be the director.
If you were in a movie right now,
you would be near the
end of the first cinema.
Let’s call it The Dark Night.
Don’t forget that with
every questionable
ending comes a sequel,
and I promise that
you will
Rise.