annoyance, I was branded due to my flamboyance
joyance, connected to divine i am clairvoyance
I swim to the shore from the sheltered deep
I swim to the top to feel the sun’s heat
anything in hopes I do not repeat
the way I felt under you, the way you painted me so blue and alone
a throne in an empty castle
a never-ending mental battle
me versus your voice embedded in my head
I travel to the nearest chapel to rebuke you
I unravel in my travels to run away
the problems return day by day
no amount of drugs and buds will resolve
the problems just seem to evolve
with every folk and wind in the road
with every smoke and grind blown
I gotta face my own
reflection, deflecting blame
rejection, embargoed in shame
protection, from you and your games

what fantasy should I play into today
watch the fruitful image become laced with dust like Pompeii
what fantasy should I play into today
become just another burnt-out cigarette in your astray
my life is simply a fallacy, nobody truly cares for me, losing my sanity in the name of chastity
my life is unsatisfactory, nobody truly can handle me, confidence beat up no battery, take another shot of vanity
woah, I feel it start to form
woah, the new queen of the swarm
woah, x marks the spot no storm
woah, no longer can conform
to society, their ideology in breach of me
and my values, firmer than statutes
life can bruise, covered in the cool hues
and my bad news is I can still lose
but why focus on the lack and knives wedged in my back
rather not focus on that
discard the cracks and sneak attacks
rather not focus on that
my walls are up and they keep you back

bittersweet, Beetlejuice
silly me to wait for you
while you take flights around with your new boo
bittersweet, I wish I knew
how stupid I looked texting you
trying to get you to open up the whole time you was deeply in love
bittersweet, how you would
tell me your love life is nonexistent now I see you kissing up
with your new boo underneath the sun
like **** here we go again
falling in love with another dead end
cant pretend it doesn’t hurt, can’t pretend I didn’t try to make it work
it's just bittersweet, Beetlejuice
how silly of me to fall for you
the constant pattern I just keep going through
over loving dove, but cupid still shooting a doe
on my knees already but just cut my throat
transform the new into what is known
uncondition and recondition me as a home
then it's no longer bittersweet, Beetlejuice

what if I have a little too much Bacardi
and I am stumbling around the party
would you take care of me or use me
would you pull my hair back as I spew out my regrets
watch me undress, caress my silhouette
don’t neglect, ******* like a cigarette
knew since we first met, you rev me up like a corvette
what's next, what's next
every since you step into my life its been just blessed
I confess it's been stressful trying to get a handle
or a grip on you and your fit is so cool
you make me want you, so smooth
you want me to want to do things I don’t usually do
give up the flower as you f*ck me in the shower
never thought I would be like this, you are my weakness
smiling during the fall of the tower

I am burning white fire
a candle burning at both ends
I love the heat, love the speed
until the room fills with smoke and I cannot breathe
I cannot see, I cannot be
drown in my delusional self-esteem
I am burnt out, I am tired
I am hurt now, I retire
I put my guard down, stop your fire
a candle burning at both ends
I cannot pretend it doesn't affect
me and how I see
me and how I move
me and how I need to prove
if you take it one step at a time, you could walk that mile by noon
sometimes you just gotta dissolve your ego and see it through

A rose's beauty is highlighted by the pain of its thorns
without the needle *****, the softness of the petals couldn't be as rich
sharp enough to make sure, you never miss
handle her, hurt her, disturb her
Squeeze onto her so tight, break then curve her
meanwhile, she was doing everything right, you thought you owned her
but being enamored doesn't translate to possession
possessive obsession, your toxicity closed her
to the world, to the void in which she internalized
all the subsequent shortcomings can be traced to the day
you decided to villainize, the sweetness of a budding romance
the natural pull
insatiable lust
unimaginable thrill
but now that landscape is draped in shame and tucked away
the rose grew thorns because she saw how the other flowers were destroyed
hardening of the skin in an effort to contain joy
the innocence of a child, the truth of a smile
the words echo through her mind
"don't trust a boy"

I swear I hear your voice in my head
an echo chamber. internal dread
loveless again
I swear I feel your skin in my head
like peanut butter, my legs spread
imagining again
What it would be like if you felt mine
What it would be like just one night
shower together to save water, but you made the flood gates open
oil me down as you massage out the ****** tension
open up my emotions, dive into my clear ocean
craving more than just your attention
Arch my back like a cat
beat it up like Mortal Kombat
eat it up like a flat, lie to me tell me my *** is fat
chats on chats on chats, stretch me out like an acrobat
splash on splash on splash, hit a home run with your baseball bat