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forestfaith Jul 2018
Tighten chest.
Stupid fest.
Hated feast.

Shaking hand.
Can't breathe.
Heart hurting.
Continuous gasping for air.

" I am so stupid. What did I do?"
"What am I doing!?"
"You foolish hag what are you doing?"
I am hardly free from this anxiety.
Free me...
Social anxiety is not just being shy....
It's so hard to overcome it....
forestfaith Jul 2018
People of cotton minds.
Implanted with chips of different sizes.
Shaken and stirred is what makes their thoughts...our thoughts??
Floating around in defiance of truth.
Floating around with uncouth language.

"I Don't Care"
That's what you write of fountain pens of sugar-coated darkness.

Floating around in an abstract, broken glass world. A world of a glass maze.
You think that by closing your eyes you can see better.
Open up.
At least then you can see the pain the world.
At least then you can see the problems of the human heart.
At least you can see the shattered glass on the floor.
At least you can learn how to love.

A loveless life is such a loss.
Such a misery of a life.
Without love. There is no life.

Floating around in fluff and wool.
Obliviously in destructive symphony.
Floating around once in a while.
To avoid the problems of the soul...
To avoid the problems of the heart, the world. . .
forestfaith Jul 2018
Plunging holiness.
Plunging thoughts.
Plunging feelings brought.

Fighting not working.
Not strong enough.
How can I fight this fight without a physical sword?

Falling highs.
Calling lows.
I am trying to find a home.
Where I can feel at peace.
Even in the stormy seas.

You provide that.
I know that.
But my heart doesn't want to believe it...
Why!?
Yearning for something I already have.

Sinful pleasures.
***** sins.
I don't want that.
I don't need that.
I don't want that....
I don't need that...
I don't want this.
I don't need this.

I don't want the darkness covered in light
I want and I need the light covered in darkness.
That pass that thorny bushes and rough walls would I finally be able to get through, and take my crown....
Sometimes dark times are necessary...
forestfaith Jul 2018
I keep fighting voices in my mind that says I'm not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
Am I more than just a song of every high and every low
Remind me once again just who I am because I need to know

You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And you say I am helped when I am falling short
And when I don't belong, Lord you say I am yours
And I believe, yes I believe what you say of me
Oh I believe

The only thing that matters now is everything you say of me
Cuz in you I find my worth in you I find my identity

You say I am loved when I cant feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am week
And you say I am helped when I am falling short
And when I don't belong, Lord, you say I am yours
And I beieve, yes I believe what you say of me
Oh I believe

Taking all I have now I'm laying at your feet
Cuz you have every failure, God, and you have every victory

You say I am loved when I cant feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And you say I am helped when I am falling short
And when I don't belong, Lord you say I am yours
And I believe, yes I believe what you say of me
Oh I believe

And I believe, yes I believe what you say of me
Oh I believe
Listened to this song by fellow sister in Christ Lauren Daigle and it really touched my heart and encouraged me. It really spoke to me.
forestfaith Jul 2018
Carefully you cut my hair.
The fingers of your hands slid through the blanket of my head.
I looked at your eyes.
Filled with such focus and concentration.
Afraid to talk I tie a knot with my fingers.
Afraid to talk, I made excuses.
Afraid to talk, I tap my foot.
Yet when I opened up.
You revealed to me the normals of your life.
But really a surprise to this life of mine.
Fellow hairdresser, as I sit in the chair.
carefully cutting my hair.
With a scissor on his wrinkled hands.
Maybe I should be more open.
But I should stay closed sometimes.
Like maybe...a half-opened door...
just some thoughts. And yes i did go to the hairdressers today!
forestfaith Jul 2018
Sitting on the floor.
In the cold and dusty corridoor.
My ears placed on the floor.
The waters carried memories.
The wet mossy floor carried the memories of those who lived here before.
It's careful hands hugged those little lights tight.
The moonlight shone with silver light.
The promises of tomorrow held in his hands.
As the savior slowly lands.
Taking back the land.

Sitting on the floor.
On the once ***** corridoor.
My ears placed on his chest.
His mercies afresh.
Thank you Lord.
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