you said you prefer red over blue
so i cut open my veins and showed them to you
you said you preferred the night sky over the burning sun
so i painted myself dark and prayed that it would be enough
you said that you only liked girls who picked at the earth
so i tore the petals off flowers and the leaves off of trees
you said you liked girls who spoke harsh words
so i spoke only words that would cut like glass
then, out of no where, you said you preferred blue over red
and i found myself dead

I deleted their phone numbers
From my phone

Won't be calling them again

They do not much care

The therapist she cared
She was fun to talk to

I have one friend now

Rely on yourself
Self-reliance

Some people just don't care
I've learned that much

I was in love 

Yes, I really was

I fell into that hole of love 

I kept falling 

and falling 

until I realized that 

I was just sick 

Sick of everything the world had given me

And I finally found a distraction 

You were the rainbow on that day when a storm plucked a tree off of the ground like it was one of the weeds a gardener wouldn't like around his plants 

You were the music I listened to from my phone when I wanted to escape from the world 

You were the dreams I unknowingly smile at in my sleep 

You were that ice cream I had when I was depressed 

You were the stars I stared at when I had nothing to do 

You were the blanket I kept on me when the night was too cold

You were the doodles on the back of all my notebooks when I was bored in class 

You were my everything, my infinity 

Until I stopped fathoming the world's problematic gifts 

I started to see the beauty and disregard the ugliness of it all 

Just like what I did to you 

The universe is filled with vast loveliness in a way that only someone who observed it daily would understand

Just like you 

But yes, I realized that I was just sick, yet again and love wasn't a distraction but a mere realization of what the universe truly wants me to appreciate.

If you want to
Play and not stay.                                                                                                      
Then get out of my way.
If you see me smiling
In my sleep;
That means,
I am dreaming
And enjoying my dream.
If you are not sincere enough
To sweetened my reality...,.
With good intentions
I will excuse
Your intervention.

But do not arouse
My love in vain.
If you want to
Play and not stay
Please spare me the
Pain of your sick little game,
Leave me contented
In my dreams again.!

"I need space" she said
And took away, in her eyes,
My whole universe.

she slides her slender
white fingers down the
branches of his spine

her eyes melted like
glaciers and lips as soft
as freshly fallen snow

skin lustful, but heart
unforgiving, exhaling
his every intention

she is autumn in his
palms, her trees bare,
the leaves rust fallen

flashing indifference,
thoughts plucked in
shades of violent rose