Looking for a secret in the cemeteries
Cause that i walk with corpses
Even began with sun and shine
Darkness is where my mind blows

The blind gleam couldn't find
Any liaison between life and death
Double seeing everything
Thoughts are adherent to emotions

Screams coming whence caverns
Forgot what i know so afraid
Horrendous and terrible
I wish a rainbow dragon

I am saying a prayer that i never heard
They are nailing my skull
Turning a deaf ear
I haven't gone crazy yet

That moment
right before you kiss me
Right there,
so close I can feel your words
on my lips
When your warm breath mixes with mine
When I can feel my heart beat,
slowly at first,
not used to such exertion
When i let my heavy lids
droop into oblivion
It feels like the first drops of rain
are falling from my eyes

Rocking chair
A comfortable seat
Turkish tea or strong coffee
Burning fireplace
Decorated wooden hut
Future wife
Snowy night
A rifle on the wall
Classic music
Wool blanket
Hello Poetry
Tolstoy's masterpieces
Ilya Repin's picture's
Wolf voices
Cold places
What a Freedom !

we take long drags
of each others skin,
the addiction comes
in phases.
day 1: my lungs sigh, weary,
air does not satisfy,
day 2: we're chasing
lifelines, that are rusted
and in vain
day 5: bad habits are
hard to break, beg, at the
holy altar of our mistakes
day 8: hands desperate,
clammy, unfurl
like belladonna palms.
day 9: i hope your
vocal cords strain, that
the only word you can
bear to say is 'stay'.
day 11: last breaths
muffled in the
graveyard of a kiss.
day 17: darling, i'm
losing track of time
day 28: i'm finding it
a little bit hard to quit.

He grabbed me by the hair
And beat me up.
I said, daddy stop it
Please not here.
Daddy, I don't know who you are
Daddy, you're not my daddy
Any more
Daddy, go away.

He punched me several places,
Several times
Until I bled.
Until I hated him enough
To spit on his face.
Until I loved him enough
To believe I deserved it.

He screamed I was a *****.
He screamed it so many times
It got to my head
And changed the way
I saw myself.

I said, daddy not here,
Not today.
But he beat me up
Harder.


F.Z.**N