i spent all day updating dating
profiles and drinking champagne -
sipping iced coffee on bright beaches
i daydreamed as the palm trees waved -
pillows of smoke and wide blue skies
i wondered what you're doing today -
who you talk too, and what they say
i thought i saw the future
i saw it coming for my soul
i ran as fast as i could
i didn't realize i was letting go

where do we go when the lights cut
and the music stops?
i don't bother with the insects in the walls
i don't read the news or watch cable television
who's on the other side? i ask

I don't know what to say, I said, thinking
it's all been said before, I can't trust
my judgement anymore -
I lost the keys
I kissed her back
I drank the poison
and I thought I heard you laugh -
I don't know what to say, or how to say it
Does it really make a difference,
where we're all headed?

i was walking in a dream
in the music in the air
i could taste the floor steps above
i could feel the mirror watching back
i was a child this morning i recall
before the doors closed
before the windows opened
before the attic collapsed
i was a wet basement
i was a cold breeze that makes your eyes tighten
i was everything, i was nothing

we were lighting cigarettes backwards
in the backseat, drinking from plastic cups
do you miss me?
do you miss days when
so much didn't matter
so no matter what we did, we
were just happy to be there -

i would gladly trade you a today
for a tomorrow - and a tomorrow, for yesterday -
i would give you a share of my stock
for a slice of wedding cake - a gold bar
for a plane ticket - and
i would
grab you a cloud, from the ocean's breeze
i would
give you the air, right off of the palm trees -
- and i would
let the rain, rinse against your cheeks, and
and i would let days, somehow turn into weeks -
i let days, turn into weeks
just moments we'll remember in years
fear of what might happen, fear of what won't
fear of what will happen, fear of what won't
when they call your name,
what will you be known for?
when they call my name,
what will i be known for?

i
saw a friend of
a friend of a
friend, tonight - they said, the night sky
was drenched with tequila sweat, hot - and the
oceans crash with waves of acid, the
forests ablaze with a hatred so hot you can't hear much
in the breeze; you
talk and i hear nothing.
i
kiss the hands of the weary
i
intoxicate and dissolve toxins
i
belong in the chaos, a puzzle
in a playground, a tire swing
a sandbox, a wine glass stained with
lips pursed desperate for change -
i
don't do much these days
i drink
i eat
and i lie awake at night