I knew that our time together in this world was limited. I knew that sooner or later one of us had to say goodbye to each other. And yet your death took me by surprise, shocked me to the core and the truth is that I don't think I will be able to recover from this. Ever.
This was the first time ever, I understood what death really was, how painful it felt and that how different it is when the person you loved is no more on Earth. It took me all these days and an immense amount of courage to even think about writing this. But I had to do this, for my own sake.
I still remember the day I met you. You were this chubby little fur ball of awesomeness that lit up every room you enter with your innocent eyes and cutest mannerisms. We bonded quickly and you were an integral part of all the crazy stupid games that my sister and I used to play, back in the old days. I remember how you used to get jealous when we ignored you, but of course, we did that on purpose so as to hear you whine impatiently while doing all kinds of silly acts just to get our attention.
I don’t just remember you for all the fun we had. I remember you even for those bad days of my life. I remember hugging you and sitting next to you silently when everything was breaking apart. I remember crying next to you when there were days I just felt like giving up. I remember talking to you endlessly about how I wish our lives were simpler again. But of course, you never uttered a word. All you did was lean onto me, while slowly resting your head on my shoulder for me to stroke your head gently, soothing us both down.
I remember how I didn’t turn my back on you to say goodbye the day I left our home. I heard you screaming and crying at the top of your voice as if you were begging me to stay as you saw me walk away. Nobody knows this, but one of the reasons I made silly excuses and kept coming back home was just to see you. There were countless times I peeked over the front gate, just to catch a glimpse of you every time I walked past our home. And sometimes all I could do was just hear your sound but that was more than enough for me simply because knowing you were okay made me feel okay.
A day never passed by where I haven’t thought of you. The five years we spent apart has given me endless opportunities to talk to every random person about you. And for the brief time I was home again, I really thought that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. But unfortunately, that didn’t quite work out. It killed me that I had to say goodbye to you again. I remember kissing your forehead before leaving home for the last time and you screaming and calling me back as I exited.
I just want to let you know how much you mean to me. For you weren’t just my baby, my best friend, my brother, my son, my playmate. You were and will always be my most precious childhood memory. Now that you are gone, I will try and hold your memory close. I miss you with every breath I take. I miss you, Jimmy. Every day, I get on social media, I see endless posts and videos about other dogs and it kills me inside. It kills me because you were the best dog ever. You were such a good boy and your existence has kept me happy since the day I met you. I couldn’t tell you that but I want you to know that.
I hope you have made new friends in heaven. Even if you haven’t it’s okay. I’ll join you there one day and together, we will make countless new memories each day.
Losing a best friend is like losing a part of you. A part of you that you never realized as something beyond of values, until it’s no more.
I had to write this for my own good. Hopefully, this will set me free.
To Jimmy,
05.07.2007 - 25.07.2017 but forever in my heart.