you asked her to stay
but in return you heard a howl
you looked up and there she was
eternally fleeting
perpetually out of grasp
for you were an anchor and she was a kite
she wouldnt stay but she always came back
for she is the wind
and you the earth.

Who are you when you've lost
Everything that made you, you?
When your old skin is tossed
Leaving you vulnerable and new
But inside you are is an empty husk
Darkness keeping you from falling apart
Lost sight of who you were at dusk
How will you fill this empty heart?

It made me
Sick.

The kind of sick
That books describe
As green,
Ghostly skinned
With red rust noses.

Sick to my stomach
Like when you wake up
At 2:00 AM
And realize that
Something
Is
Not
Right
Before you sprint
Down the hall
To the bathroom
And ***** pizza bagels into the
Pristine marble sink.

It made me sick like
When it gets so bad that
Blowing your nose hurts
Because the extra soft Kleenex
Have scratched your skin raw
Over
And
Over
Again.

It made me sick
When I realized
That it wasn't you that I loved
But the feeling of being loved.

Next time you make an empty promise
Shatter it against the concrete
And rip open my flesh with the sharpest point,
Pour salt in my wounds
And leave me to rust.
And then tell me again
How it pains you to see me suffer.
Darling, all this time you were killing two birds
With one stone,
But since when can I fly?

I am the fire shining bright in your hands
the water which quenched your thirst
the earth you adore
the air you breath.

You need me.

I am the fire setting you ablaze
the water in which you drown
the earth which crushes you
the air stinging on your wounds.

**You adored me.

the color of her lipstick
the color of the alleyway
the color of his knuckles when she showed signs of struggle
the color of the pavement
the color of the ambulance light
the color of her maternity dress
the color of her baby's hair
the color of the roses they set beside her coffin

she saw red--
                        the color of Love.