The first thing you notice is I'm different and you wonder what it is i want out of life. You might see my scars and softly whisper "did you use a knife?" and I'd quickly turn away, in fear of humiliation. And you'd understand because words are not always needed for communication. And you'd try to give me a fancy speech on how it wouldn't help asking me what the motive was, sharply I'd reply "and if it does?!" And I'd turn away once again and offer my apologies, you'd ask me what's my sign, and I'd ask what sadness had to with astrology. Then I'd peak up and quietly mumble "Leo" and you'd say "ahh a warrior, a king, a hero", and that's when you saw the sorrow in my eyes,  "but Kings shouldn't cry" and I'd shout "well humans shouldn't lie!" And in that very moment you will know that I'm hurt, I'm damaged, just broken. You'd see that even when the words haven't been spoken. You might wonder how I got such a chaotic brain. I'd tell you blame it on the chemicals rushing through my veins  And if while we're in deep conversation and you ask me what's the strongest drug I've ever tasted, I'll look deep into your eyes and I'd tell you her name. and you'd probably look at me in confusion and think that I'm insane. And sadly, you're probably right, because love does that to a person. But see, read closely, and you'll find, love is not the most addicting drug, no the strongest drug is the human mind. And the tears will start to fall as i mumble her name again. You'd quickly grab my hand and question if she was a friend. Breaking down, I'd try to explain the emotions that i felt. " an unbearable pain, i helplessly watch as my heart slowly melts" it's like a bittersweet euphoric pain, and i die a little more each time i say her name. And even without rain, my days are always long and cold, because it wasn't just my heart and sanity, she also stole my soul.