With my scrunched
and bushy furrowed brow
I often ponder
the precise circumstances
that any thing to be born
tracing back lineage of self
or arbitrary individual
unpredictable as the dow
reckoning a series of events
sustained life similar

to sowing seed of corn
ruminating fragile nascent organism
at the mercy of fate flourished and how
taxing me mind how each score
composed for each
to toot their own horn
aware that just the slightest
off beat fluke determined
from millennia ago or now
that particular organism –

whether one celled entity
or beings that can mourn
the loss of kindred members –
food for thought
for one able to pledge marital vow
like this poet, whose presence
a mere fluke
of circumstances possibly torn
at any point in the distant past
rendering me absent
and hence unable to utter wow

At what crapshoot
of circumstances wrought
Matthew Scott Harris to be
cognizant of the self
and the world wide web
or follow threads back in time
albeit not more
than a couple generations –
whereby emigrants did flee
from supposed eastern european swath
in general finding you to rhyme
for no reason,
just as other creatures
great or small occupy
(wall street) themselves with glee
or just groveling along
at bare ***** knuckle existence
without a dime
less apt to own luxury
of how **** sapiens
purportedly evolved from monk-key
whereby harsh ill fate tempts them
into life of crime
when perhaps riches
with kingly figures
loomed large in their family tree

branching off way
back when back in the day
glorious personalities populated
genealogy to boot
twisting a tortured destiny
somewhere along the way
setting stage for rags
when once august ancestry
buried in loot
yet tis quite frivolous
to bemoan present
woes or even pray

to win lottery turning attention
to how like
our ancestral gingko or newt
dwelling in that rich primordial
egg drop soup wantonly
in massive bay
inexorably transformed
(by dint of dice throw)
per flora to take root
as well fauna to mutate
into species and genus
on land to assay

giving rise to variety
to an assortment of animals and plants
and this one speck of flotsam
in particular owns a passion
for square and/or contra dance
whereby others – from massive beasts
to self taught amazing evolved ants
scurry hither and yon to and fro
perhaps also contemplating genetic grants
to be alive for a mere blink of an eye
all due (in my view) to chance.

born January 13th, mcmlix
under Capricorn sign.

With my scrunched  
and bushy furrowed brow
I often ponder precise circumstances
that linkedin yours truly to be born
tracing back lineage of self
or arbitrary individual
unpredictable as the dow
reckoning a series of events
sustained life similar
to sowing seed of corn

ruminating fragile nascent organism
at the mercy of fate flourished and how
taxing me mind how each score
composed for each
to toot their own horn
aware that just slightest
off beat fluke determined
from millennia ago or now
that particular organism –
whether one celled entity

or beings that can mourn
the loss of kindred members –
food for thought
for able pledge marital vow
like this poet, whose presence
a mere fluke of circumstances possibly torn
at any point in distant past
rendering me absent,
and hence unable to utter wow
evincing expression care worn.

At what crap shoot of circumstances
wrought Matthew Scott Harris to be
cognizant of the self
and world wide web
or follow threads back in time,
albeit not more than
a couple generations –
whereby emigrants did flee
from supposed Eastern European swath
in general finding thyself to rhyme
for no reason,  just as other creatures
great or small occupy themselves with glee

or just groveling along
at bare ***** knuckle existence
without a dime
less apt to own luxury  
how **** sapiens
purportedly evolved from monkey,
whereby harsh ill fate
tempts them into life of crime,
when perhaps riches
with kingly figures
loomed large in their family tree
begat courtesy making whoopie.

A genealogical limb
branching off way back
when back in the day
glorious personalities
populated genealogy to boot
twisting a tortured destiny
somewhere o'er the rainbow
along Yellow Brick Road way
setting stage for rags when
once August ancestry buried in loot
yet tis quite frivolous
to bemoan present woes or even pray
to win lottery turning attention
to how like our ancestral gingko

or Geiko gekko newt
dwelling in rich primordial
egg drop soup
wantonly in massive bay
inexorably transformed
(by dint of dice throw)
per flora to take root
as well fauna to mutate
into species and genus
trumpeting horns heard
signaling Santa Claus
in his trademark red suit
on land to assay.

Punctuated equilibrium
first proposed by
and Niles Eldredge in 1972
gave rise to variety
to an assortment of animals and plants
perhaps also contemplating genetic grants
this one speck of flotsam
in particular owned
a passion for contra dance,
whereby others from massive beasts
to microscopic organisms
scurry hither and yon to and fro
essentially to be alive for lifetime,
nevertheless a mere blink of an eye
all due (in my view) to chance
to self taught amazing uncles and aunts.

a sixty four year old married bloke
born January 13th, mcmlix
under Capricorn sign in general,
and January 13th in particular
who dons online personage
with custom (think
swiftly tailored harried styled)
made poetic raiment cloak.

With my scrunched  
and bushy furrowed brow
I often ponder precise circumstances
that linkedin yours truly to be born
tracing back lineage of self
or arbitrary individual
unpredictable as the dow
reckoning a series of events
sustained life similar
to sowing seed of corn

ruminating fragile nascent organism
at the mercy of fate flourished and how
taxing me mind how each score
composed for each
to toot their own horn
aware that just slightest
off beat fluke determined
from millennia ago or now
that particular organism –
whether one celled entity

or beings that can mourn
the loss of kindred members –
food for thought
for able bodied/minded bard,
who pledged marital vow
like this poet, whose presence
a mere fluke of circumstances possibly torn
at any point in distant past
rendering me absent,
and hence unable to utter wow
evincing expression care worn.

At what crap shoot of circumstances
wrought Matthew Scott Harris to be
cognizant of the self
and world wide web
or follow threads back in time,
albeit not more than
a couple generations –
whereby emigrants did flee
from supposed Eastern European swath
in general finding thyself to rhyme
for no reason,  just as other creatures
great or small occupy themselves with glee

or just groveling along
at bare ***** knuckle existence
without a dime
less apt to own luxury  
how **** sapiens
purportedly evolved from monkey,
whereby harsh ill fate
tempts them into life of crime,
when perhaps riches
with kingly figures
loomed large in their family tree
begat courtesy making whoopie.

A genealogical limb
branching off way back
when back in the day
glorious personalities
populated genealogy to boot
twisting a tortured destiny
somewhere o'er the rainbow
along Yellow Brick Road way
setting stage for rags when
once August ancestry buried in loot
yet tis quite frivolous
to bemoan present woes or even pray
to win lottery turning attention
to how like our ancestral gingko

or Geico gecko newt
dwelling in rich primordial
egg drop soup
wantonly in massive bay
inexorably transformed
(by dint of dice throw)
per flora to take root
as well fauna to mutate
into species and genus
trumpeting horns heard
signaling Santa Claus
in his trademark red suit
on land to assay.

Punctuated equilibrium
first proposed by
and Niles Eldredge in 1972
gave rise to variety
to an assortment of animals and plants
perhaps also contemplating genetic grants
this one speck of flotsam
in particular owned
a passion for contra dance,
whereby others from massive beasts
to microscopic organisms
scurry hither and yon to and fro
essentially to be alive for lifetime,
nevertheless a mere blink of an eye
all due (in my view) to chance
to self taught amazing uncles and aunts.

Summer re: imagery evoked today
February sixteenth 2022
now before scrolling down
reading about Old Man Winter
imagine I envision heat wave
prognostication likely months in the future,
one abominably hazy, hot
and humid sultry day,
when climate controlled central air
allows, enables and provides
man/woman made respite hooray,

a temperature regulated apartment,
whereby yours truly his head he doth lay
(under crocheted blanket)
quickly slipping into deep sleep;
the missus (madre) and her padre
(me) take a siesta
in my dream I take treadway
to Piccadilly Circus, London,
where surveillance cameras take x-ray
of suspicious character - Not Me,

while actually in reality
outside apartment b44 nor'easter
howls like bajillion banshees
vents wind chill factor
as temperature dips
into low single digits
I summon fire breathing
friendly quasi dragon
as acceptable substitute cue Barney
purple Tyrannosaurus Rex dinosaur
crackling flickering hearth,

yours truly snuggling
close proximity warming,
thawing, quelling...
cockles and muscles
atavistic visitations hover
brushes within subconscious
purring, mew zing catacombs
kickstarting, harkening,
dawning... **** sapiens
lion eye zing forebears
dormant memories thaw

predators vastly outnumbered
scattered beastie boy bands
recherché representatives
toehold barely latched
precarious niche easily
activated evolutionary quirk
imperceptibly bumped uglies
begot robust progeny
offspring expanding comfort zones
penumbra expanding edge of night

dark shadows receding further
outer limits of twilight zone
phantasmagoric shifting shapes (hint...
think Plato's One Republic)
phantasmagoric shifting shapes
alluring, beckoning, daring...
establishing, foraging, growing...
harvesting, invoking, jabbering
kowtowing, livingsocial,
matchmaking tinder (ha)...

now lemme zip forward
bajillion years circa 1970's
British comedy troupe
nudge nudge wink wink,
know what I mean courtesy
Monty Python's Flying Circus
rollicking humorous sketches
oft times tackling primal urges
proto humans initially verbally grunted,
where guffawing laughter

rewarded survivalist basic instinct
temporarily staving rabid
quivering premonitions outside
creature comfort boundaries,
whereby Geico Caveman
will remain till... dis ember
by George thoroughly appetizer,
viz good chilled Wren plus
Pheasant under glass
burns away hunger pangs.

Methinks, I post literary endeavors inxs
but tis with blood, sweat and tears
in case ye did not guess,
who struggles to craft reasonable rhyme
ideally read by a pleasing poetess.

Aye ***** nilly understate (trying to)
tantalize, hypnotize, galvanize...
with "FAKE" trumpeting
spellbinding, rambling, quivering...
intoxicating, hallucinating, gyrating,
stop to take a breather...

English Language vocabulary, a
fascination, intoxication, provocation...
upon me ocular, neurological, mental...
faculties of this nattering nabob
from outer limits of twilight zone
i.e. literary krazy Jewish jabberwocky

issuing haphazard global toll till
fallout exacting deserved ****
cratering nascent (inchoate) career
digitally/electronically bi:
ne'er re: carpet bombing

away upon modus operandi, sans
sesquipedalian shrapnel strafes wrought
realization literary scaffolding
complex edifice thought
out in mind of yours truly,
not popularly sought

opportunity to experience
rush of excitement,
asper choice winner equals naught
inexorable effort to cobble innovative
linkedin words disappointment fraught
submissions witness polite declinations

attesting, lamenting, regarding poetic
expansive glommed language, unlikely
success tubby brought
adulation, commendation, enunciation...
fades into afterthought.

Ablest adept adroit aficionado
applauded aspiring authors accorded
absolute badge because
brevity brews brilliant burnished
bravado bubbling budding bulwark
captivatingly collates, communicates,
constitutes conveys avast literary

Grand Canyon chiseled, sans scribe's
Colorado devoid, asper driven desperado
contrariwise, through prevalent
persistent pinterest proclivity,
plus plethora pronounced propensity

resoundingly regaling readers
re: raffish ridiculous rumination
renders endeavor incommunicado
diligent doggedness ironically -
dampens dueling dynamic dud

dutifully dramatically diminishing
divine dreaming skin deemed darling
distinguished doodling I sip
prose poe hit tick drafter
equally or exceeding
prospects envisioning El Dorado,

thus this 1% Neanderthal
bets his sweet bippy
and bottom dollar
febrile frenzy to fashion words
essentially relegated as dense bupkis
will automatically plummet
hook, line and sinker
10,000 leagues under the sea
accidentally discovered courtesy
scuba diver assisted by Octopus teacher.

He subjects unsuspecting readers
to lumbering lugubrious trademark
style saturing media airwaves,
thus instinctive immediate attribute
acutely sensing reasonable non-rhyme
heading directly to Davy Jones locker
years later discovered posthumously
and hailed as figurative
long lost sunken treasure
linkedin to the outstanding
ascribed to yours truly,
honorable Master scribe
among pantheon of great poets - ha
a run of the mill
schlepping logophile.

fortunately thwarted courtesy
mine tall tale telling flair.

Mine irretrievable brilliant masterpiece...
all for naught after mental cogs and wheels
I did apply creative juice metaphorical grease
regarding tour de force pièce de résistance writing
forever lost to the annals of human history.

So much for escaping to paradise island
(Garden of Eden) and experiencing zen
Impossible mission to earn untold yen
concerning prosaic poem/ poetic prose titled
The old battleaxe and her henchwomen
irrecoverable linkedin to sinking feeling
hours, days, weeks... all spent for naught
dharma *** - me got doled out unfair

injustice though scoreboard (tabulating
when yours truly acted immoral) oddly even
Steven after I repented against
marital infidelities nearly cost priceless
paternal love of daughters, whereby
their father experienced
suicidal ideations thought
to drown his sorrows
overdosing on fen-phen.

A transcendent awakening
occurred within noggin of one simian
a clothed outlier caged within human zoo
predicated upon his overactive imagination
inextricably favorable ratings did woo,
albeit ephemerally savored renown, and true
value viz his great Magnus Opus,
whereby riches couped courtesy
brief brush with fame and glory
found countless people lined in queue

(and moment of morning glory
subsequently slipped
thru gnarly butter fingers
symptomatic of nervousness
exhibited courtesy an aspiring Nehru
case in point my pal Joey, a kangaroo
dear reader pardon
tardy greeting regarding helloo
cuz decided against formalities,
a nonestablishmentarian he doth eschew
no ghostly chance I merely utter boo!

Unlikely I scared
the living daylights out of you,
nor would that be intent
regarding self taught amateur
practitioner of voodoo
I rarely if ever cast spells,
nevertheless yours truly
still under probation
and peer review
so breathe easy, cuz Matthew
Scott Harris would hate
to tarnish reputation of Guru,
that charming humble fellow
he taught me wizardry.

Addends, minuend, subtrahends... all Greek
to poor student long haired pencil necked freak.

****** (internal) revenue stream
plus plugged egress
equals flood of woe
torturous suffocation
of biosphere quite slow
particularly concerning one
Norwegian bachelor farmer from Oslo
amidst the bajillions of people,
one common Joe
(cur) just biden his time

pleading to acquire
much needed dough,
attorney General assistant Lynne Costello
sought out to help yours truly
(to no avail)
hoof hound himself cloven
and rent asunder courtesy
ofttimes mentioned cyber outlaws
preying upon (long in the tooth) fellow
suddenly his entire body electric
being deceived synonymous

with the plot of Iago
in my version starring
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
as none other than Othello
punch drunk as Judy
falling down laughing,
roistering, yammering hysterically
and rolling with a ****** Rockafellow,
whose role as a convincing fall guy
convincingly contradicted himself
as an above board underfellow.

Yours truly voluntarily recruited himself,
cuz he haint been rather astute
therefore welcomes
a swift kick in the derrière
courtesy squared off steel tipped boot
knocking the living daylights
predicated on lovely bonehead moment
linkedin to poppycock that did compute
as sense and sensibility
even suspicious to a deaf-mute
leary toward one extortionist

pièce de résistance, he did execute
and pulled wool over my eyes
analogous to snake charmer
playing magic (Johnson) flute
transfixing yours truly
a dunderhead lunkhead punked galoot
who in hindset could not add up
fishy (worm I going)
oh yeah... virtually nabbed
courtesy cyber bandits,
who gane nary a hoot

prying skewed logistics I impute
to wanna hang myself
courtesy suitable length of jute
tied with Gordian knute
gofundme page welcomes pledging loot
to help me (if you can)
with desired great expectation moot,
hence these lovely bones
when cremated will be transformed
into fine powder
more inert than a newt.

I know from personal experience
the foolhardiness of
courting, flirting, honeymooning...
worse case scenario,
particularly when just a wee lad,
yours truly internalized
unfamiliar ****** aches and pains
as a death sentence,
slept with one eye opened
against nightmarish fiends birthed

courtesy overactive imagination
and subsequently did buzzfeed
crowded house of mind
ranking as capital one pet peeve
that festered and kickstarted
linkedin deplorable mental outlook,
which anguish expended
emotional exhaustion all for naught
and only later in life
more lackadaisical toward mortality.

All things considered
regarding working myself into a lather
chomping at the bit of uncertainty
(while simultaneously nibbling
on freshly baked powder milk biscuits)
prompts me to assuage agitation
brewing inside the bowels of your being
while awaiting results from ct scan.

Take sage advice courtesy your brother,
who thyme after thyme
felt his lovely bones wracked,
whereby said secular humanist
named Matthew Scott Harris
able, eager, ready and willing
to draft his last will and testament
bequeathing my anxiety riddled
body, mind and spirit to science.

Impossible mission
to modify your behavior,
and even major ordeal
to modify destructive thought processes
that kamikaze nose dive within me noggin,
yet ascribe, credit, and praise
prescription medication to ameliorate
and remedy debilitating panic attacks,
whereby I was wont to languish
with physiological symptoms
such as: adrenaline rush,
irritable bowel symptom,
nausea, racing heart,
sweaty palms, and vertigo.

Thus, quite thee Herculean task
(shrugged off by Atlas)
to change long
entrenched thinking patterns
even ones qualifying
as affecting traumatizing detriment
of holistic schema,
as iterated with
aforementioned poetic versatility,
and a strong accompanying suggestion
with absolute zero coins

painfully extracted out piggy bank
to direct attention on the here and now
since more likely than not
any dreadfully projected fear
(the most frightful being
strong aversion to die)
couched as mine prediction
of fat and/or slim likelihood
to occur, and the best measure
offered free of charge
to stave off being

linkedin née cruelly enslaved
to quiet riot of torturously wicked
wrenching, leveling and jack-hammering
sixty plus shades of gray matter;
as a side note above benign crisis
common denominator among
Norwegian bachelor farmers,
who dwell in Lake Woebegone
best surrender to
webbed, whirled and wide
cosmic consciousness
and experience manumission.

Sincerely yours,
erstwhile, juvenile, and servile
Alfred E. Neuman

Re: ah... what better way to while away the countless leisure

hours,while coronavirus (covid-19) assails humanity across thee

globe? (covid-19) assails humanity across thee globe? he answer to

that question my friend... explained within attached gobbledygook

(safe at any speed to open without latex gloves, nor face mask)

courtesy - Curiosity got the better part of me as thine fingers typed

Matthew Scott Harris into the google search bar lo and behold and

much to my chagrin and amusement, others with mine namesake

constituted roles in various walks of life carrying out their whiles

and ways sans existence covered the realm from administration of

President Dwight David Eisenhower the celebrity circuit, where his

claim to fame and fortune as movie Producer (born in Jacksonville,

Illinois) for silver screen cinematic debut enterprise finished regal

Dimension far off beaten track sans degree (from University of

Illinois) in Civil Engineering, After practicing as an engineer for

several years, a decision made to open a restaurant in Chicago with

nary a harbinger - After operating popular eatery for more than ten

years, a whim directed destiny viz hit time to make movies curved

renown skyrocketed quest analogous to aligning skill sets into

stratospheric isobar which exertion pitched head stone carvers to

acquire vital context where next of kin content with obituary hiz

death unexpectedly Tuesday morning, Feb. 24, 2015 of

Loudonville), tomb epitaph incorporated passion as avid

outdoorsman, who loved fishing, hunting and canoeing. I aced as

supervisor with telecommunication company, Telecom Towers Inc.

yet by some stroke of premature pronouncement, whence during

funeral the coffin lid rose a jar scaring the s**t out the backsides per

mourners, where demise found sights drawn to undertake a totally

tubular career as graphic artist from Buffalo (Educated at RPI), who

constantly looks for work today tomorrow, out of necessity to pay

bills, and as prodigy with numbers attained plaudits as financial

solvency ****, and par for the course irresistibly tempted forging

credentials - with a self crafted faux pas star re: expert as fraudulent

Loan OfficerNMLS # 240801 - but Youngblood’s hired fretful

dexterous dude for extra cash tip play *** tar, while police got tips

from wagging tail, and unfortunately butter field bursar ruse

landed rising star into clinker sans Cook County Inmate at age 49

CB NUMBER 19043182, when arrest occurred Tuesday, January 13,

2015 11:53 AM, and released the next day due to first time

misdemeanor plus absent recidivist incarceration possession

of 5000+ grams of Cannabis, which exposure to magical, miracle

and mystical herb set sites to become a professor Clinician of

pharmacology to help fight the so call "drug war."

Curiosity got the better part of me as thine swiftly splaying fingers
typed Matthew Scott Harris (yours truly) into the google search bar,
lo and behold, and much to my chagrin and amusement,
others with mine namesake constituted roles in various walks of life carrying out their wonderfully wicked whiles and ways,
sans existence covered the gamut earthen realm
from administration of President Dwight David Eisenhower
the celebrity circuit, where his claim to fame and fortune
as movie Producer (born in Jacksonville, Illinois)
for silver screen cinematic debut enterprise finished regal Dimension far off beaten track pocketing a degree (from University of Illinois)
in Civil Engineering, After practicing as an engineer for several years,
a decision made to open a restaurant in Chicago
with nary a harbinger - After operating popular eatery for more than ten years,a whim directed destiny viz hit time to make movies
arced renown sent same nom de plume doppleganger
quest skyrocketing
analogous to aligning skill sets into stratospheric isobar
which exertion pitched head stone carvers to acquire vital context
where next of kin content with obituary hiz death
unexpectedly Tuesday morning, Feb. 24, 2015 of Loudonville),
tomb epitaph incorporated passion as avid outdoorsman,
who loved fishing, hunting, and canoeing. I aced as supervisor with telecommunication company, Telecom Towers Inc.
yet by some stroke of premature pronouncement,
whence during funeral the coffin lid rise a jar
scaring the s**t out the backsides per mourners,
where demise found sights drawn to undertake
a totally tubular career as graphic artist from Buffalo
(Educated at RPI), who constantly looks for work today, and to mar
row, out of necessity to pay bills, as prodigy with plugging numbers and spitting out calculations
attained plaudits as financial solvency ****, and par
for the course irresistibly tempted forging credentials -
with a self crafted faux pas star
re: expert as a fraudulent Loan OfficerNMLS # 240801 -
but Youngblood’s hired fretful dexterous dude for extra cash tip play *** tar, while police got tips from wagging tail, and unfortunately butter field bursar ruse landed rising star into clinker
sans Cook County Inmate at age 49
CB NUMBER 19043182, when arrest occurred Tuesday,
January 13, 2015 11:53 AM, and released the next day due to first
time misdemeanor plus absent recidivist incarceration possession
of 5000+ grams of Cannabis, which exposure to magical, miracle
and mystical herb set sites to become a professor
Clinician of pharmacology to help fight the so call "drug war".

Dispense sing with fidelity blithely agog
just me and mine dark shadow
slinking along the edge of night doth blog
passivity, the path of least resistance ohm my dog,
shocking voltage surges an emphatic YES,
verboten fruit adrip with succulent juices as eggnog,
a legitimately valid reason and rhyme to flog
reprobate yours truly figuratively emasculate,
thee catchword to extricate
being emotionally hogtied
warrants immediate attention,
regarding consummating series
of prurient disadvantageous
née self destructive events.
  
The best idea to expound upon,
while attempting creative
exuding genital intonations to jog
all mein kampf, I felt like a bump on a log
please... don't be hesitant
not to reserve judgement
towards this miscreant husband
whom identifies himself
as a dirt Poe imp of the pervert
analogous to rumpelstiltskin fable

whereby Lothario wannabe
boasts stud deed fallaciousness,
whose noggin of mine shaped as an egghead
topped off with pinhead blocked nog,
one aging long haired pencil neck geek
never reached maturity forever a pollywog
until froggy went a courtin'
into marital quagmire
woody ******* did slog.

More clearly, plainly and succinctly,
one sniveling poor excuse for masculinity,
(and upstanding laughingstock
regarding spindleshanks),
I continually experience
unrepentant (unforgivable) humility,
hence lame justification
Matthew Scott Harris
sought adultery, cuckoldry, effrontery...,
which unwise choices attempted
(pun intended) to fill a void
****** propensity linkedin with precepts

attributed courtesy Sigmund Freud,
though skepticism skirted
shirked getting caught red handed
sneaky shenanigans employed
barenaked lady ******* psychoanalysis
downplayed, or Oedipus complex
shrugged off Fountainhead (heavier imposition
versus Atlas) fails to bridge
(do not as Kwai)
any heavy mettle alloyed
within me psyche, and windmills of my mind.

Handy dandy blues clues
existential mid life crisis
lacked absolute zero justification
why yours truly fraught
with hormonal secretion
embarked on warpath for concupiscence
gallivanting foot loose and fancy free
sabotaged matrimonial covenant,
whereby I regularly posted and answered
personal classified advertisement
with popular Craigslist website,
thus no surprise when presto digitation,
I met gal headquartered in Coatesville;

she drove to Evansburg State Park
rearing to tame bucking bronco (me)
quashing, invalidating, contravening...
conjugal contractual obligation
renting asunder mine vocalized vow
to remain faithful thru thick and/or thin
seeking alternative ******* opportunity
feeble minded excuse
regarding irreconcilable differences
a vague catchall phrase
antithetical contrary to pledged troth,
embarking on maiden voyage
nsync with barenaked lady
partaking moist and meaty tender vittles.

I feebly attempted to compensate  
for dearth of absent teenage
Ninja mutant turtles
reptile brain and brawn bravado
investigated dating app experiences,
thus violated wedded vow think tryst
I yearned, trended and jump/kick started
Casanova paramour wannabe
years later subsequently regretted philandering
utterly disgusted at my illicit behavior
and negligence neglecting
attentiveness to offspring and spouse
forswore doting upon then
high school age daughters,
rightfully thee eldest one

(born 12/22/1996) still ******
and compromised paternal priority spawning
selfish prurient dalliances,
I das scribe, how now brown cow objectionable
frolicking courtesy Sly And The Family Stone
payback a *****, cuz feel in funky (flunky) mood,
verses when scads of Earth orbitz ago,
he profusely kissed
mouth of other voluptuous
(zoftig) older women
(consensually, flatteringly, indiscriminately)
and amazingly, kindly, thankfully... enough
in due time spouse did willingly insist

to forgive, boot never forget
long since discounting divorce from wife
nevertheless, remaining thermally uncoupled
mandated unconditional armistice
eventually note hissed
matter of fact I dreamt
(earlier today May twenty ninth
two thousand and twenty two), the gist
regarding soldier of self made misfortune
toying and tinkering harming self
casually eyed sharp pointed objects
offered especial attraction

pondering hoop fully connive fist
(cuffed) around handles of cutlery
at primal, gonadal, and brutal predilections
now... finding very little reason to exist,
hence understandably dissed
(until death do me part)
unbridled love and apology
toward thee missus and progeny,
who forever did blacklist
writ blood ginned curse with barbs.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder,
thus very little paternal (filial) love expressed
and she chose to live yonder
Oakland, California her temporary dwelling
no matter, her papa blatantly confessed depravity
YES, more'n his eye did wonder.

At present petty coated junction
non petty irreparable schism
doth rank as horrendous
on par me adopting fascism
forever sullied image ("daddy's girl"),
who once thought the world of me
selfish misdeeds buzzfeeding swelling egoism
no more how enlightened I became

ex post facto, pure unconditional acceptance
refracted light risqué behavior thru prism
where primary parental accountability
not satisfactorily explained away courtesy
Darwinism (to con seed genes), nor chauvinism,
whereby ever since time immemorial
repentance will forever be belabored
by me flagrantly disregarding monogamy
courtesy hardened libido
making mockery and travesty marital covenant.

(any relationship between the following poem and living persons -
namely the writer of these words ranks as purely coincidental and fictitious).

nevertheless he suffers existential blight
covered head to toe
in black and blue bruises
linkedin wherein
yours truly (himself) did self flagellate,
less for religious reasons,
than cuz he felt contrite
about his mein kampf and hard times,
where purpose driven life
when once upon a time,
he happened to be
a happy go lucky little boy
imbibing rich scents and sensibilities
of mother nature brought delight
observing flora and fauna
while sitting asprawl upon greensward
sharing quietude with Georgie
(his Box/Dalmatian family dog,
they shared the same birthday)
now a doddering blind,
deaf, and dumb old man
Tommy (to me) sensational resplendent
quintessential planetary magnificence
no longer didst excite
subsequently his dead soul,
when free from corporeal constraint
will embark upon spiritus mundi flight
hoping to acquire martyrdom veneration,
when he uneventfully segues
from being among the living
to gleefully join the deceased,
albeit grateful dead into the realm,
where eternal serenity
found within soul asylum height
espying how humanity in general
and Project 2025 in particular
found **** sapiens devolving
into World War III as trappings
of civilization (and its discontents didst) ignite,
where survivors (analogous to foreigners,
who just landed on alien nation)
scrabbled across rubble strewn landscape,
especially as dark shadows
crept along the edge of night
daring bravehearts to explore
outer limits of the twilight zone
red dilly (dallying) advancing Republicans
donned as trumpeting elephants in MAGA trunks
complete with jacklight
wrought from titanium
(Sia what I mean)?
felling Democratic enemies,
the former tricked out with artificial intelligent
smart and sophisticated firearms
comprised of ballistics fashioned
from one hundred percent kryptonite.

Now a minor digression regarding -  
giving Luigi Mangione
who sported a 3D-printed "ghost gun"
garnering him fifteen minutes of fame in the limelight
killing UnitedHealthCare ceo Brian Thompson,
which ammo etched with the words
"deny," "defend," and "depose"
on the bullets and casings used in the shooting.

Now back to regularly scheduled program,
where yours truly best retire poem,
cuz moonlight sonata filtering thru the window
way past the hour of midnight.

Where upon awakening from dream,
a nightmare found writer of these words
metamorphosed back to the future
videre licet joining rank and file,
when an extinct marine arthropod
that occurred abundantly
during the Paleozoic era,
with a carapace over the forepart,
and a segmented hind part
divided longitudinally
into three lobes,
hence the name trilobite
creatures who throve
from the beginning of the Cambrian Period,
around 521 million years ago,
until the end of the Permian Period,
around 251 million years ago.

Now ye probably wonder less or more
how much longer torment
for thee dear patient reader must endure
before I jump/kick start severance
soon will cometh end of poem
with blessed fate, I assure.

Hyperbole barely exaggerates existential exegesis
as markedly iterated in the book of Matthew.

Upon closing eyes wide shut,
and being whisked at lightspeed
just in time as huge claws
grasp empty air,
he then finds himself
at beginning of evolution
after being hurled further back
even farther across the time stream
when primordial broth covered earth
found him alone as an anachronism
as a sophisticated humanoid
chock full and tricked out
with the latest generation
of quantum robotics technology
electronics far surpassing
even the smartest **** sapiens,
nevertheless artificial intelligence
sets relic of the twenty first century
apart from the madding crowd
of microorganisms in the primordial broth
denying him the likelihood
synonymous with the rolling stone tune
I'll come your to emotional rescue
condemning him to veritable isolation
hounded by mailer daemons,
hence a worse fate than death
dogged his every catatonic step.

A generally cerebral acquisition
intertwining heterosexual generic guy,
who first started dating gals,
when a late teen/
early twenty something,
who overcame his shyness
courtesy consuming powder milk biscuits;
usually described as
"made from whole wheat
raised in the rich bottomlands
of the Lake Wobegon river valley
by Norwegian bachelor farmers;
so you know
they're not only good for you,
but pure... mostly.

Buy them ready-made
in the big blue box
with the picture of the biscuit
on the cover,
or in the brown bag
with the dark stains
that indicate freshness.

Whole wheat that gives
shy persons the strength
to get up and do
what needs to be done,
especially a then
first time contra dancer
such as yours truly – me!

Heavens, they're tasty, and expeditious!"

I buzzfeed jump/kickstarted to drone
how as humble male,
a propensity prevailed to secrete testosterone,
yet lament childhood's end,
an unhealthily docile boyhood
never realizing inclusion
nor fraternizing with classmates,
a stark realization throughout mein kampf.

Hence an (often feeble attempt)
to recaptcha forsaken interpersonal opportunities
when positive circumstances
appear palpable courtesy
interest exhibited toward yours truly,
or more particularly
his satisfactorily scribbled writings.

Overindulgence exuding profuse gratitude
most likely counterproductive
to teasing fledgling friendship
ofttimes recklessly voicing
expressing premature ejaculations
of amorousness linkedin
to profusion of unbounded love
invariably lobbing blitzkrieg
of desperation to undermine latent
intrigue housing initial sentiments

never vouchsafed tactile rapport
with author of these words,
whose impetuousness additionally pronounced
by inclusion of mine
America Online username
available after further correspondence
to sincere respondent
in immature hoop dreams to elicit
fantasy realization to strike up rapport.

At such hint of romance and elusive
fine prairie home companion to acquire,
I want to burst into song
with attendant accompanying acapella choir
oblivious reader would become jaundiced
regardless creative rhyme and reason,
where Rita meter maid,
actually a robot contrived thanks
be to artificial intelligence
within blink of her
sophisticated electronic eye
notices digital timer

precious minutes to display
favorable compression, depression,
disadvantageous expression,
irreversible impression,
malapropos progression,
et cetera didst expire,
who ofttimes referenced prior
experienced being flummoxed,
when few and far between
interpersonal scenarios embarrassingly
forfeited, kindled explosive charge
as if sparking electricity
issued from a shorted wire.

Amour propre frankly zapped
analogous to how swollen balloon
punctured or loosed from fingerhut
erratically zips thru air
flitting to and fro hither and yon
resembling how
on two separate occasions
witnessed bat out of hell or cowbird
similarly swooped dipped and dove
within our house got trapped,

(possibly fell thru fireplace flue),
whereby mother dearest shrieked
simultaneously swatting
(the only mammal
in the world that can fly)
nsync with rebel yell
(on par with exemplary performers as:
Swallowtail, the Flying Garbanzos,  
Wild Asparagus.

Within that milieu
of barnstorming hoopla,
I got me a wife
(currently taking her siesta),
though upon first setting foot
yours truly stumbled as with two left feet,
but mastered the following called steps
and routine became cakewalk.  

HOW TO CONTRA DANCE:

     Ask a partner (yea, that lonely looking gal or guy), who can never refuse to kick up heals in this rollicking shenanigan – the rumor holds that said activity the most fun one can have with his/her clothes worn.

     The caller will usually do a walk thru, which begins with the first two couples closest to the stage crew of lively musicians (frequently filling the makeshift hall with music aligned the genre of irish jigs and reels) beginning to pair off.

      After couples one and two (nearest the band) complete their quartet, this process (sans participants coupling off) continues until the foot of the line.

     Actually each duo of dancers within the foursome nearest or furthest from the podium dons the role of  “first and second” couple respectively.

     The walk thru can be helpful, especially for those unfamiliar with this social activity, which encroaches on the ordinary comfort zones because eye contact plus physical hand to hand fusion necessary.

     Many of the routines utilize various combinations of approximately a couple dozen unique moves, where each distinct extemporaneously choreographed fancy footwork utilizes a unique variation of such movements.

Prone to bloviation pure and simple
rides on figurative high horse,
which doubles up as my Plymouth Duster
analogous to General George Armstrong Custer
(blowing his i.e. mine little big horn)
anonymous readers I unwittingly fluster
poetic patina an artificial, superficial,
yet beneficial ego boosting luster
one mister re: man can muster.

I (no surprise) become
self absorbed with my own palaver drum
ming across the screen written from
me, (an average happy go lucky)
goose stepping honk
king Crimson and clover Caucasian man hum
bull despite being imagine
an infinite string of superlative adjectives jum

bull ling together to accentuate Lum
burr jack ambitions comfortably numb
when modest male
just another brick in the wall
scores of decades during plum
years of mein kampf
watching favorite television programs
in boyhood living ***
while bobbing like a sponge
(donned in square pants)
sprawled on my washboard tum.

No inflated cheekiness for logophile
renown throughout the webbed wide world
for his pro licks
regarding poetic shenanigans ad nauseum.

I comport myself with quiet pridefulness,
misinterpreted as snobbery
plus intellectual whimsy
aware that "FAKE" pretentiousness,
could be mistaken foreign egotistical vitae
furthering, feathering and figuratively
undermining jestingly,

poetically, and zealously
oozing, gushing, bubbling over
with faux snobbish suave re:
pulse sieve literary fatuous
haughtiness, and ludicrous narcissistic pre
ning all the while chuckling to me

self, and indifferent if
some anonymous browser
with Dutchman's breeches rolled up
upon cresting wave over Zyder Zee
disparages mine harmless
badinage, hence if ye

might qualify as such nitpicker,
who doth cavil - dee
crying wading thru
quagmire of verbiage,
a gentle reply to thee
might be more wise to turn energy

toward, how in many another country
the village people haint so free
spouting, sporting, and spoiling,
vis a vis intellectual sparring
(albeit innocent) black
barbs hatch chee

ving, and raising urgent
attention against he
(who **** squelching
constitutional rights) re:
pressing, rescinding, reviling,
et cetera access toward key

underpinnings within these fifty
constituent United States
of America beckon alacrity
for obliging citizens across
all points of the compass to alee
v8 his indiscriminate flee
sing, sans bedrock nation could tee
tear on the brink of calamity,
which political plug quite inadequate

to staunch hemorrhaging, viz upending
many a sacred liberty,
and foo to you reprimanding
against any agree
gee us objection to pen about polly lee
ticks and/or religion!

alternately titled: incorrigible lottery dreamer
big plans to relocate self and spouse
to some tropical island paradise
by the dashboard light
(the above line credited
to musician named Meatloaf)
upon arrival of my steamer.

A fool's errand finds me emptying out billfold,
especially as the winnings increase ninefold.

Paradise visage and eyes a bulge with dollar signs
whets imagination with Mega Millions ticket bought
for potential wealth overtakes rational self
with delusions of grandeur caught
allow, enable and provide flirtation
with fate to experience rich draught
envision emancipation proclamation
from penury a distant battle fought
expect the usual outcome
after next drawing to yield monetary naught
temptation for instant millions eagerly sought
human foible to reach until life lesson taut
for elusive *** of riches
streak of universal desire
and tacked clear of shoals,
where hard scrapple existence wrought.

This poor man's pipe dream
nsync with the milkmaid and her pail
where fanciful notions pluck me out
being day late and dollar short
essentially pennilessness in the extreme
story of mein kampf fortune teller
also known as Zoltar speaks machine
said contraption did foredeem
substantiated, kickstarted, corroborated...
courtesy an archenemy Joaquim
(fiend nixed) and his tall sidekick Kareem
both rogues could shine figurative longerbeam
and discern mine ill fate.

Meanwhile creative endeavors
and linguistic pleasure
thru the literary attempt
suitably with poetic third eye blind
palliative, yet less rewarding versus
garnering large sum of money
would be a dog send
delivered by one blessed angel in disguise
redemption and salvation
considered thankful find
with challenges or commiserate
and complement via words of positive kind
feeble attempt where words synchronize
readers may espy hidden puns
(and divine inspiration - ha)
within this rhyme lined
to pry poem or prose from mind
deliberate semblance to communicate
and extract idea from cranial rind
analogous how stitcher doth tightly wind
a tapestry of rich and royal hue
while twittering and tweeting
“better luck next time.”

alternately titled: incorrigible lottery dreamer
big plans to relocate self and spouse
to some tropical island paradise
by the dashboard light
(the above line credited
to musician named Meatloaf)
upon arrival of Stanley steamer.

When my ship comes in loaded
and laden with precious cargo
from busy ports far and wide
captains trumpeting their arrival
donning sunglasses traipsing incognito
yours truly spied
at merchants wares
cast dark shadows
from the outer limits at noontide.

A fool's errand finds me emptying out billfold,
while being gagged and bound with a blindfold
My blood runs cold
My memory has just been sold
My angel is the centerfold
steaming with madness analogous
to exhaust or intake manifold,
especially as the winnings increase ninefold
videre licet building castles in the air
courtesy precarious scaffold
tumbles down into a bajillion little pieces untold.

Paradise visage and eyes a bulge with dollar signs
whets imagination with Mega Millions ticket bought
for potential wealth overtakes rational self
with delusions of grandeur caught
allow, enable and provide flirtation
with fate to experience rich draught
envision emancipation proclamation
and utter premature *******
from penury a distant battle fought

expect the usual outcome
after next drawing to yield monetary naught
temptation for instant millions eagerly sought
human foible to reach until life lesson taut
for elusive *** of riches
streak of universal desire
and tacked clear of shoals,
where hand to mouth
hardscrabble existence wrought.

This poor man's pipe dream
nsync with the milkmaid and her pail,
where fanciful notions
pluck me out being day late and dollar short
essentially pennilessness in the extreme
story of mein kampf fortune teller
also known as Zoltar speaks machine
said contraption did foredeem
substantiated, kickstarted, corroborated...
courtesy an archenemy Joaquim
(fiend nixed) and his tall sidekick Kareem
both rogues could shine figurative longerbeam
and discern mine ill fate,

Meanwhile creative endeavors
and linguistic pleasure
thru the literary attempt
suitably with my poetic side
third eye blind
(living a life of total focus
on the empty, finite lusts
of the material world,
instead of on the promise
of eternal realms of life hereafter)
palliative, yet less rewarding versus
garnering large sum of money
would be a dog send

delivered by one blessed angel in disguise
redemption and salvation assuage temptation
considered thankful find
with challenges or commiserate
and complement via words of positive kind
feeble attempt where words synchronize
readers may espy hidden puns
within this rhyme lined
to pry poem or prose from mind
deliberate semblance to communicate
and extract idea from cranial rind
analogous how stitcher doth tightly wind
a tapestry of rich and royal hue.

No..no...no...DON'T GET CLOSE
cuz, yea...yea...yea...
I suppose mailing altruistic donation
would be the safest lagniappe bet,
where over exposure
would most likely NOT infect thee,
though these really quirky,
phony (funny) germs can be inhaled
across transmission wires
thru the nose or data packets

bounced off satellites
as telecommunications specialists
worth while (and/or) even if I fall
precautions taken even extreme measures
such as cryogenics,
(where an individual
ideally after they die)
doth get froze,
nonetheless this communiqué
must be heeded cuz most effective,

and best assimilated
before one takes a doze
essentially (non fatal) lottery mania
flow within my entire being
from head to toe fungus
infected what this old rattletrap
specs castles in the air akin to a house of cards
careering into scattered mess
(resembling 52 pickup),
thus unknown reader

dune hot dare casinos,
gambling halls, horse racing, et cetera
lest ye contract an immobilizing,
yet fearless innocuous diagnosis,
buffer in themselves
with aspirin do sing glaring bug eyes,
plus affecting a hair styled,
and swiftly tailored demeanor
accompanied with Scrooge
(tiny timid lee)

intimating lurching, and ogling
qua monopolistic greed
expending every last red cent
indeed finding one
impoverishing themselves
at reo wagon light speed,
especially after getting flying high
courtesy stone temple pilot
buzzfeeding me with ****.

two alternate titles:
1. Gander seeking goose that laid the golden egg
2. Incorrigible lottery dreamer
linkedin with previous poem I wrote
though modesty deters
crafty, lofty, nifty, thrifty... wordsmith
and Perkiomen Valley poet
i.e. yours truly quietly to gloat.

If lady luck smiles on me denote
big plans to relocate self and spouse
to some tropical island paradise
by the dashboard light
(the above line credited
to musician named Meatloaf)
upon arrival of my steamer
rather Ferry large boat.

A fool's errand finds me
emptying out billfold,
especially as the winnings
increase ...fivefold, sixfold,
sevenfold, eightfold, ninefold, tenfold...
ample resources to remould
living nonestablishmentarian existence
surrounded courtesy webbed, wide wold.

Paradise visage and eyes
a bulge with dollar signs
whets imagination with
Mega Millions ticket bought
for potential wealth
overtakes rational self
with delusions of grandeur caught
allow, enable and provide flirtation
with fate to experience rich draught
envision emancipation proclamation
from penury a distant battle fought

expect the usual outcome
after next drawing
to yield monetary naught
temptation for instant
mega millions eagerly sought
human foible to reach
until life lesson taut
for elusive *** of riches
streak of universal desire
and tacked clear of shoals,
where hard scrapple existence wrought.

This poor man's pipe dream
nsync with the milkmaid and her pail
where fanciful notions pluck me out
being day late and dollar short
essentially pennilessness in the extreme
story of mein kampf fortune teller
also known as Zoltar speaks machine
said contraption did foredeem
substantiated, kickstarted, corroborated...
courtesy an archenemy Joaquim
(fiend nixed) and his tall sidekick Kareem
both rogues could shine
figuratively impregnable longerbeam
and discern mine ill fate.

Meanwhile creative endeavors
and linguistic pleasure
thru the literary attempt
suitably with poetic third eye blind
palliative, yet less rewarding versus
garnering large sum of money
would be a dog send
allowing, enabling, and providing
arrogant stance where proletariats deigned
delivered by one blessed angel in disguise
redemption and salvation
considered thankful find
with challenges or commiserate

courtesy  poverty that doth grind
and complement via words of positive kind
feeble attempt where words synchronize
readers may espy hidden puns
(and divine inspiration - ha)
within this rhyme lined
to pry poem or prose from mind
deliberate semblance to communicate
and extract idea from cranial rind
analogous how stitcher doth tightly wind
a tapestry of rich and royal hue
while twittering and tweeting
“better luck next time.”

to genus and species of **** sapiens,
(who trod across oblate spheroid
since time immemorial
as well as other simians -
classed as naked apes -
and now I enclose a bit of esoteric trivia,
whereby chimpanzee and the bonobo
our closest living relatives
share a surprisingly high percentage
of their DNA with humans,
estimated to be around 98.7-98.8%)
seek a significant counterpart
sought among their respective members,
(whether of the same or opposite gender),
in my case heterosexual partner preferred
within the human league
and of late acceded to friend requests
on Facebook messenger,
one of many social media platforms
to curry potential platonic friendships
between myself, a married, Caucasian
a lapsed Malthusian, nonestablishmentarian,
and Unitarian heterosexual,
who enjoys intelligent conversation
parrying and thrusting with wit and wisdom

Though a solitudinarian, a flickering
pulse of primal atavistic call of the wild
snakes thru the reptilian brain of mine
buzzfeeding erogenous zones
snapchatting across axons and neurons
inducing randiness to shutterfly and twitter
arousing the trouser snake to slither and slide
getting ready to pounce and make an ambush,
where Tiny Tim tiptoes thru the tulips.

Concupiscence at this stage in the game of life
(heading into my sixty seventh journey
around the sun January thirteenth,
nineteen hundred and twenty six)
nipped in the bud courtesy
(side effects) one or more
of the following nine
prescription medications
(to temper anxiety, dysthymia,
obsessive compulsive,
and palmar hyperhidrosis)
ingested on a daily basis:
BUSPIRONE TAB 15 MG 2X DAILY,
CLOMIPRAMINE CAP 50 MG 1X NIGHTLY,
CLONAZEPAM TAB 0.5 MG 1X NIGHTLY,
FLUOXETINE CAP 80 MG 1X NIGHTLY,
GLYCOPYRROLATE TAB 2 MG 4X DAILY,
PRAZOSIN HCL CAP 1 MG 1X NIGHTLY,
PRAZOSIN HCL CAP 5 MG 1X NIGHTLY,
RISPERIDONE TAB 1 MG 1X NIGHTLY,
ROPINIROLE TAB 2MG 1X NIGHTLY.

Back in the day
when the onset of hormonal secretion
analogous to a raging torrent,
an ******* occurred
at the most inopportune times
namely when I needed
(actually volunteered)
to stand up in front of the classroom
expatiating in a profoundly nasal voice
(courtesy submucous cleft palate -
essentially a split uvula)
or gingerly exiting the classroom,
especially upon getting excited
espying a girl I felt infatuated toward,
thus carried books
and school supplies
to hide any self evident
warm prickling sensations.
Aghast at juvenile predilections of mine,
I let ****** fantasies run rampant
(texting and sexting females
young enough to be my daughter)
despite being legally bound and linkedin
to a marital covenant
obliging me to forswear
unrequited love when
at the prime of my life,
yet ******* clad photographs
of young fecund women
(a fraction of my
threescore and six years)
overpower sense and sensibility
without pride and prejudice
knowing at heart
such endeavors to foster
discreet liaison with fecund females
on par with a fool's errand.

whenever I needed to append the date to a document

Though the situation infrequently arose
for me to incorporate the year (2024 in this case)
or listen to a well trained
beetle browed foo fighter
named Jethro Tull
(in honor of an English agriculturist
from Berkshire who helped to bring about
the British Agricultural Revolution
of the 18th century by perfecting
a horse-drawn seed drill in 1701
that economically sowed the seeds
in neat rows, and later developed
a horse-drawn ***)
likened to lapsed hippie old fogey chap,
(no much different from yours truly,
an aging former
long haired pencil necked geek),
who in polite society
does not give a rats ***,
if I make a ridiculous roaring ruckus
particularly after sneezing a bajillion times
subsequently when the necessity arises
to hunker down and expel
globs of phlegm from honker,
whipping out my handy dandy
patriotic blues clues handkerchief
totally oblivious to the madding crowd,
tending to my totally
tubular noisy outsize snout,
(which circumstances finds me
in a dilemma of a pickle),
whereby I proceed and nonchalantly
trumpet bugle with deafening blows
clearing obstructed snotter with horse sense
as I splutter inappropriate expletive
one after another
after a sneezing deafening fit,
which explosions and expulsions
of slimy nasal glop
compels people in hear shot
to stage a coup d'état
(after being splattered
head to toe with snot), whereby
a bevy of beastie boys from the hood
analogous to nasty,
short and brutish seven dwarves
mad as blocked up hatters
in unison bellow gesundheit,
which soundcloud
ruffles tailfeathers of angry birds
akin to an agitated flock of seagulls
admixed with writer of these words,
a Paul Bunyan reincarnate
twittering tweeting babe watcher,
especially Paulina Bunyan,
whose biceps and *****
busting out all over
like dwarfish paleolithic musk oxen
on the hunt for red October,
nevertheless while female
doppelganger of mine
(cheaply tricked out
as heavily pierced *** pistol)
find me smacking together
mine saliva spluttering lips
while all the while ogling
unsuspecting babe in the woods,
whereat a surge of AC/DC charge
tingled within these lovely bones
cracking knuckles affected soundcloud
indicated preliminary Wile E Coyote
cartoonish characterizations
translated as yum zook,
who appeared to amble
with trepidation and hesitation
amazingly graceful and sleek as a black Angus
despite her snorting snout sniffing
my sense and sensibility,
she got inexplicably pulled toward
hot blooded videre licet Brobdingnagian,
one member from a race of human giants
described as being about sixty feet tall.

Ideal to peruse the vast treasure trove
of lecture material
pertaining to aforementioned title
on the webbed wide world
especially gratifying to watch and listen
as various and sundry
noteworthy knowledgeable instructors
present material regarding
as topic yours truly
(Oh Henry) hankers to master
configuring networks and hosts
nsync with helpful visual aids linkedin with
purporting to master said concepts
easy as kindergartner to learn.

Young impressionable twittering
snapchatting reddit minds
analogous to sponge;
they absorb technical information
without experiencing intimidation,
which panicky reaction, I attest
impedes induces blackened
barbed pangs within mine breast
causing my heart to pound loudly
testing heart (violently wracking ribs)

inducing near bursting of chest
severely incapacitating formerly rapt pupil
to become distressed
reducing means of communication
to grunts and groans expressed,
whereby attempt to grow knowledge
ain't no funfest
as ye accurately guessed
trying to understand
mind boggling concepts

necessitates giving noggin
much needed and frequent headrest
perhaps overwhelming
sixty plus shades of gray matter
subsequently mine surviving kin
get told cause of death courtesy coroner
visa vis aneurysm discovered
after autopsy and inquest
which constitutes (dead serious)
no small subject to jest.

Despite (surgeon general's warning)
regarding unwise to teach oneself,
(and perhaps miraculously enough
become bonafide, certified and deified
as network engineer)
forthwith unnamed old codger
of these words, the person in question
thinking about aspiring to become
a sexagenarian geek
maybe ill advised
to gain technological smarts
even an itty bit
tis best to remain ignorant
and sustain dumbfounded bliss

Truth be told acquiring insight
to feel connected and integrated
with uber generational breed,
(would most definitely
give me a virtual lyft) yes indeed
allowing, providing, and enabling
he/him to experience traveling
as a gender binary male
(no offense intended toward
individuals who consider themselves
linkedin with lgbtqia umbrella
(hopefully my car won't
get vandalized nor keyed)
after I send this reasonable rhyme
thru cyberspace at lightspeed.

Though gung-**
to master intricacies of subnetting,
specifically accessing an excellent
powerfully pointed website
hosting Jeremy's IT Lab
Free CCNA | Network Devices | Day 1 |
CCNA 200-301 Complete Course
a mental impasse deters
that eureka moment.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njHvGxZgTPk

Relaxing Music for Deep Sleep. Delta Waves.
Calm Background for Sleeping, Meditation, and Yoga.

Amidst human tempest
malevolent fiery brew
whereby renegades who
kickstarted effective coup
I laid down with
eyes wide shut yours truly drew

listening to above
world wide web hyperlink
silently lambasting rambunctious
hoodlums ewe
could literally feel
maniacal malefactors rage that flew

wrenching loose ramparts
held together courtesy democratic glue
as pillaging hooligans
shrieked ear splitting cry and hue
heard far away as Aleutian Islands,
where said sedimentary islands
capped by steep volcanoes

resemble an immense stony igloo
interestingly enough housing
a very reformed (Unitarian) Jew
whose state of the art cave
of course tricked out
with sophisticated internet connection
subsequently therefore he knew

upheaval despite Washington D.C. situated
approximately four thousand
and three miles away
much relieved to celebrate his upcoming LXII birthday
(January thirteenth – three days hence)
(enhanced courtesy boyish good looks)
far removed from former swamp

long since repurposed into Capitol Hill
the seat of the U.S. government, home
to domed United States Capitol, Senate,
Houses of Representatives and
neoclassical Supreme Court
linkedin with countless major beltway.

The information superhighway doth allow,
enable and provide live streaming access,
which unsettling all American (as apple pie)
terroristic travail etched creases
into mine permanently furrowed brow
suppressing appetite, hence

hoop fully explains bowl of uneaten chow
prepared by top notch chef
(recipient of many Michelin stars -
and stripes too many to count)
comprised by seafood an expert fisherman
(who trawls hundreds of miles)
spends many hours aboard custom made dhow.

Naturally mentally conjured
inquiry regarding why
and how a sore loser
must foment such anarchy, thus I sigh
especially troubled how an
anti-semitic, bigoted, depraved
self-glorified kook, planned
and venerated maelstrom well nigh.

Impossible mission to ignore
(just barely) aborted attempt
ruffians sought to overthrow government
characterized by one young punk
donned with animal skins and horns to bore

holes into human flesh, now arduous chore
borne by Joe Biden not only to decry and deplore
abomination weeks in the making extempore
since 2020 presidential election decreed
which results Trump did abhor.

sinister concatenation pairs us
   with surreal morgue aisle
broken lives rent asunder
   from fanatics hell bent with bile
of poison spewing forth *******
   up the moral compass dial

upending amity, comity,
excitability with ferocity,
hostility, indelibly, indubitably,
inexorably hissing illogic jabber
wocky justifiably linking extremist
deadly credos bred among western nations

indicting pursuit of life, liberty
and happiness wreaking deliberate havoc
   awash with crimson tide of blood –
   dead set to jam the life lock

viz Leviathan of personal freedoms
   bespoken via vernacular,
where secular westerners
   framed to mock,

where extremist storied devout
   die hard believers dislike rock
and roll of altruism, capitalism,
   liberalism, thus apply shell shock
tactics sans terroristic tactics
   with bombs silently tick tock

inevitably heightening security
   forcing ordinary citizens
   to be on high alert
watchful even at slightest com
   ment, perhaps even accidental curt

commentary invoking immediate
   military forces swoop down and exert
overpowering force donned
   with ammunition belt bristling girt
affecting innocence abroad and
   native population to freeze
   and become inert

casting dark silhouettes against
   autumnal reign of light
where Mithraism plays out
   with immensely brutal might
blotting out the radiance

   of heavenly bliss affording active night
life to become shuttered
   as cruel carnival masquerade
   pits pagan plight

against the jagged
   scrimmage line quite
arbitrarily drawn by maniacal foes
   for freedom trammel the right
to own democratic stance –

   for Jihadist Johnny come lately
   find a slight
lampooned their sacred
   Islamic catechism inducing tight
grip on Allah to fuel vengeance
   for intimated transgressions
   that doth in vite

which violent polemics purpose
   fully shear the very fiber of peace
pronounced with especial
   arduousness come holiday time
   foisting a crease

along the fabric of westernization –
   whereby founding fathers did grease
the figurative wheels of con
   com it ant moist meaty lifestyle
to experience strangulation
   from an invisible death knell lease.

Panoply of mystical elements of holly day style
breathe prez sense frostily exhaled aired
per millennia athwart
(this terrestrial spaceship planet Earth)
two plus seventeen carousel rides resonated
veritable pantheon of pagan rituals
and quirky superstitions lit
(akin to a lit Christmas tree)

starry eyed imagination
as catalyst viz **** Sapiens
furrowed stern brow of forehead
aft stemmed whilst Santa oft puzzling
(allocating suitable gifts)
inducing him to tug thought generating beard
pondering, whence agents provocateurs
receive just desserts

fueled hodge podge, mish mashed, helter skelter
eclectic December twenty fifth
encompassing tens of thousands previous generations
bred despacito fixtures via paganism,
Manichaeism, Jainism, et cetera
ancient brutish credos, ethos, faiths
brewed nebulous concoction
within mindset of early mankind

loose confection, confederation, conglomeration
indiscriminately torquing, vetting, whetting
disparate constituent beliefs
contagion wrought spirit paradigm
inculcating oral tradition Madonna and child
occupying high chair
whereat superstitions birthed patchwork
comprising divergent ensemble heralding

tender petsmart impact, where world wide web populated
with sacrificial pacification sans deity
via oblation, immolation, flagellation appeasing *******
borrow wing, vis a vis amalgamated viz Roman sol invictus
wrought fiery brimstone tempting those who dared
assert contrary fledgling jambalaya outlook
provoking regally supreme sacerdotal wiseman
punishing opposing incorporating

novel modus operandi explaining sacrilegious worship
such heretics pitched headlong
into fiendish frothing furnace
forcing obeisance toward primitive popular
identified, honored, glorified father figure
expressing devotion re:
decking the halls of the mountain king,
whence boughs of Juniper sprigs contriving wreaths

sanctifying twisted brambles via sprinkling angel dust
(actually cremated remains of malefactors
stripped of habiliments) during bleak winter
unwittingly interweaving nascent (futuristic)
formally codified bona fied religions
unknowingly, tacitly, silently rendering
quintessential premises obliging
layperson to foreswear locally rooted secular treatises

trounced, trumpeted unction voided
wishy washy antithetical blind faith coalescing edicts
over course of time became established
Greco-Roman imposed group think
disallowing cynics,
diametrically emerging fanatics, skeptics
who (if he/she did not recant
recalcitrant recommended recourse

faced torture amidst throng of madding crowd
as entertainment and forewarning gall
asper those who held steadfast dissimilar views
taught since birth, when citizenry reared
as just a little drummer boy/ girl pipsqueak
taught to stay the course (sans straight and true)
bound without freedom to express contrary aspects
of ways and whyfores, which accepted traditions
controlled each green day

and silent night, wherefore unimaginable ogres
lined straying hip cats
eventually ensnared within warpath,
whence law of the land lend scimitar to smite
any mortal man, woman
or child with flaming torches
licking the heretical body electric,
while defiant individuals
left to burn into decimated
charcoal blackened, ashen corpse.

Fleshed out as poetic confessional.

Profligacy prevailed pricking psyche
precipitating pandemonium.

I wrought havoc courtesy aegis
of paramours picadillos, yours truly did relish
crooning, clowning, and cavorting
around at Piccadilly Circus
located in Regent Street, Shaftesbury Avenue
Piccadilly, Covent Street and Haymarket.

Fast forward into the present
meaning Christmas day 2024.

Impossible mission to escape spectre
analogous to black barbs
blasted from BB gun
painfully punctuating
once pleasant ******* burbles.

Emotional fallout analogous
to radiation poisoning mein kampf
killing me softly with feline purring,
where I (a non believer) did lionize Lucifer.

Marriage plus father/daughter
unbridled edenic connection,
especially once unsullied paternal bond
with mine eldest
once a daddy's girl forever marred
with ineradicable mercurial malefaction
(by jove earthling linkedin to Saturnalia)
in tandem to severely dislocated
troth I did pledge
toward the missus forever
harboring faith no more
toward counterpart,
which husband
espoused devious dereliction.

Amidst frolicking holiday good cheer
ah, how I bemoan the days
before childhood's end
when days of my life
characterized by boyhood
chock-full of innocent bliss
(except for meek demeanor
sitting stock still
taking up space and time
within quaint little red school house)
as the world turned
betrayal cast dark shadow
shattering bedrock placer deposit
casting promising fidelity
to outer limits of twilight zone
once (kneeling) young miner
for a heart of gold,
ever since wife forever suspicious,
she automatically monitors online behavior,
and roundly, playfully, and nimbly lambastes
errant foolhardy guise valiantly dolled up,
and couched as innocuous platonic ruse  
bolstered by sheepish mien of mine
she never presumed rambunctious shenanigans
sundering, soldiering, and shouldering
pretence of sharing a spot of tea
until day er night of reckoning discovered
vis a vis when yours truly
brazenly, flagrantly, and licentiously
gabbed within hearing range to mistress
who dwelled in deepest darkest “Africa”
hours later returning back
to 724 West Railroad Avenue
being severely rebuked
since then schlepping self imposed shame
analogously videre licet
Atlas shouldering the world.

Whenever fleeting
will-o'-the-wisp fantasies flicker
such as a pleasant repartee
between yours truly and a pretty thang
such as recently espied
at the Thomas Paine Fellowship,
a venue I resumed attending
after a hiatus of countless years -
housing secular humanists,
an automatic rapid fire
of illicit thoughts elicited ****** propensity
spellbinding me with seduction.

I chastise my devilish doppelganger
for teasing me
(a whirling dervish
contra aery to popular belief)
with testosterone laden trysts
torturously twisting
time traveling troubadour
out of place within the twenty first century.