In a world of questions
With headstones as the answers
No one knows God’s will
As we dig another hole
Soon to be prayed over
Who will be the next fill?
In whistling ignorance
While at work or play
The next grave prepares itself
Too young to listen
Too old to remember
All that matters is material wealth
We hear the ancient words
Channeled through dilated eyes
As if they talk to the face of God
No longer seeking knowledge
The decision has been made
And now our obedience they ****
Killing in the name of God
Insulting in the name of intelligence
All those so sure bring their armies to bear
Caught in the crossfire
Of dogmatic accusation
The agnostic voices speak if they dare
And so the truth is lost
In the eye of the hurricane
As we are swept away with the tide
And yet we return again and again
Even to face certain death
As we who ask stand before those who lied
They hope to find the truth
In the rolling sands of receding waters
That chase the clouds away
Living through uncertainty
But loving one another
The flash of blue seems to light the way
Climbing through the mounds
Of broken dreams and memories
We sew hope into our lives
Mending our discouraged minds
And remembering tomorrow
We faintly hear the rising voices of lies

An initial for a name
A bowtie under his chin
An arrogant manner
Frames his smirking grin
So very smooth
Knowing what to say
Then you realize he said nothing
As you’re walking away
You're not on the inside
So you’re on the outside
He knows the difference
In you he won’t confide
He walks around with that air
A master of corporate speak
He talks footprints and solutions
But your counsel he does not seek
He says he loves the action
And it makes you wonder
Mingling with liars and thieves
And those who will plunder
How can he be trusted
When he has mastered the game?
He seems to know everything
But to him you're just a name
He will upgrade at a party
He never makes eye contact
He needs to feel important
With him it’s all an act
He’ll use every big word
And name drop with a smile
You can’t win with him
It’s all part of his style
Then one day he’ll quit
And pretend to care in transition
But he’ll just read his texts
And move on with his transformation
He’s never been real
It’s all about the money
You never feel his warmth
Because he’s such a phony
You know those birds of a feather
Always flocking with one another
So don’t be fooled by his manner
He’d sell our country and his mother
He'd sell his soul too
If he had one to sell
But he made a deal with the devil
Who will see him in hell

I really do
It burns the fields
Of happiness
In another's
Accomplishments
It floods
The gates
Of admiration
With tears
Because
I didn't do it
I hate my ego
The menace
To society
And friendship
There is not enough light
To share
As its shadow
Swallows
Your pride
Whole
Because
My ego
Can only exist
Alone
Without you
Without your genius
Without my respect
For you
Because my ego
Only recognizes one thing
Itself

I tried to consider everything
Then I realized that was the problem

The ego that believes

Not every creek bed can contain a river
when clouds drift too slow to avoid
letting you know how they feel

I tried to be so normal
Then I realized it was only for them

The ego that is afraid

Not every forest can contain a fire
when lightening decides it is time
for nature to try again

I tried to love you more
Then I realized it was only for me

The ego that lost

Not every dream can contain a nightmare
when the one who believed in you
learns to live without you

What anger exists in me sits in the front
row of the church in which I have chosen for
for myself; it has a place of honor because
I have allowed it seek its level; above that
of true understanding; true kindness;
true empathy for the happiness of others;
true calm in the face of what may not allow
my preferred state of being to exist; yes I
have allowed it to lead my thoughts because
I am weakness looking for purpose

What have I set my mind to; is it a virtue
worthy of the rest of my life or is my life
worthy of it; is my mouth worthy to speak
of it; have my ears heard of it; does my
heart know how to love it; does my mind
comprehend it; does my spirit have the
strength to fight for it; am I merely a
weakness looking for purpose wherever
it may exist

You must know what it is that you are
choosing to be; drifting, dreaming; is it
in her eyes or can one person be all you
can see; the promise is for a life before
the things you will come to know about
her reveal themselves to you; it is the
same for the stand you decide to make
or the back you turned on what you wish
to reject from your life; because weakness
looking for a purpose must choose

Is it a story or a life you are leading; what
is it that you are sure of and what is it that
makes you blind; you must remain pure
in your purpose for what you are born to
live is what is intended; whatever fame,
praise or silence that comes upon you is
only a consequence of those who react to
you and is not to be considered as you decide
if the life you lead is worthy of the purpose
your weakness is trying to choose

We cannot know courage
Until we are touched by fear
We cannot know strength
Until we understand weakness
We cannot know purpose
Until it is ****** upon us
We cannot know inspiration
Until we see those who follow

To contend with me now
Is to confront yourself
There is no emotion that I fear
Nothing can change what I am
A human being
I will be sad
I will be in despair
And I know that I will not fall apart
The moments you avoid
Are the ones that make me the strongest
I can lose your love
Know you are with someone else
And my heart will be a forest consumed by fire
But I am also the green grass that returns
I know that now
And it is because I love you like that
That I can lose you and still survive
Because though you are beauty
I am the song written for you
I am the overwhelming love you crave
And I am stronger than you will ever know
You cannot destroy me

When you know
Of their blood
And their children
And what they are told
Then why are you surprised?

Who gives the orders
And who decides?
Hearts have no borders
Rivers take no sides

When you know
Why they come
To breathe the same air
To live with hope
Then why are you unforgiving?

Who gives the orders
And who decides?
Hearts have no borders
Rivers take no sides

When you know
That they are desperate
Because of no birthright
Except love of family
Then why are you afraid?

Who gives the orders
And who decides?
Hearts have no borders
Rivers take no sides

When you know
They only want what you want
No more no less
Than a happy home
Then why are you angry?

Who gives the orders
And who decides?
Hearts have no borders
Rivers take no sides

It’s easy to say when you’re alone
It’s somebody’s fault
It’s better to be alone
And when you go out
You try to act all grown

But you can’t pretend to be
If you leave your heart behind
No, you can’t pretend to be above it all
If you leave your heart where no one can see

When you were growing up
You gave your heart away
Like a flower you weren’t afraid
But now it’s something you keep to yourself

Growing down
It’s like you're growing down
Growing down into the ground
A flower afraid of the rain
A flower afraid of the sun
Afraid of the things when you were young

It’s easy to say when you’re alone
You don’t look into my eyes
You don’t stand close
And when you close the door
You try to act all grown

But you can’t pretend to be
If you leave your heart behind
No, you can’t pretend to be above it all
If you won’t leave your heart with me

To stretch my every being
Fatigue
Doubt
Fear
Genius
Courage
Love
To know the limits of cobbled streets
Where the footsteps of so many vanish
Living life
Not questioning existence
Only feeling their hearts
Not counting debts among friends
Holding love in my arms
Weeping as I bury my family
Without anger as the divide is no longer my concern
Smiling as a song becomes life
Believing without question
Accepting without remorse
Experience without regret
For  the whole of the past is not what tomorrow can  be
But within the worry that ignores my inner peace
I know you
And as I wait for you
I wonder if what I fear is having you in my life
Or you being the love of his

Not everyone who dies for freedom is a soldier; without money or arms their weapons become their dignity. You do not know their names nor did you hear them cry; still, you know they lived; you know this because it is you who are now free to live the life you choose if you only have the courage

Horror
It is the moment
When one culture
Decides
It is superior
To another
It is the moment
When life
Is devalued
To the point
That extermination
Can be done
Without feeling
But instead
With moral certainty
The certainty
That the God
Of the dominant culture
Approves
And
When the screams
Cannot be heard
Because
They are not real
To you
And even if they were
It wouldn’t matter
Because
Insanity
Does not recognize
Itself
And because
Fear
Justifies anything
And because
The reality that has been constructed
In your mind
Is that you are normal
And they are not
So they must die
And you must live
No matter
The symptom
Of the disease
You have been taught
To love

Hey hey little Davy
Guess that was the last train
But you forgot to say goodbye to Jean
Now she’s crying herself to sleep
Who will kiss the homecoming queen?

Hey hey little Davy
We’re still the young generation
And this is what we have to say
We wanted to be just like you
Now you’ve gone away

Hey hey little Davy
We’re still messing around
Following in your footstep
We hopped on those stones
While we ate our breakfast

Hey hey little Davy
We loved you as children
We always were your believer
Now that we've seen your face
We'll never forget Saturday morning fever

I’m willing to sleep in a bed
No matter who makes it
It’s not that I don’t give a ****
Actually I don’t
I believe I’ll wake up anyway

I know more about myself
Maybe that’s why there is no order
I can’t file my thoughts anywhere
So I ask them to stay awake just in case
I think that’s why I’m always tired

I’m checking out now
I’m checking out now
You might not understand it
You might not know how
But I’m checking out
Yea right about now

I’m trying to figure out how to be normal
Whatever that means
I think it’s not falling for too much make-up
Or thinking about somebody’s new car
Maybe it’s just feeling cold when it snows

Being different is just being different
But you can’t think about it
It takes years if you put your mind to it
Then you forget how you used to be
Some people need drugs to do it though

I’m checking out now
I’m checking out now
You might not understand it
You might not know how
But I’m checking out
Yeah right about now

I wish someone would hold ******* up
I’d like to look into their eyes too
Is it just a fad or would they carry a sign
Maybe if they were drafted we would know
But that kind of decision is only for the poor

I don’t have to be twenty to experience the sixties
I wanted us to win the war
I remember a picture of four long hairs
And there was plastic all around
Mine never exploded like Warhol though

I’m checking out now
I’m checking out now
You might not understand it
You might not know how
But I’m checking out
Yeah right about now

If you’re cool enough you can steal a lick
Most people won’t remember it
They just want to feel something
If you look weird they think it’s the future
But you know it’s really just the past

I’m checking out now
I’m checking out now
You might not understand it
You might not know how
But I’m checking out
Yeah right about now

We The People
Sailed the same course
Some willingly
Some by force
We The People
A document to inform
A more perfect Union
No matter the storm
No more kings
No more oppression
No more taxation
Without representation
Checks and balances
And the rule of law
Mitigating injustices
Safe harbor for all
The secular trinty
President, Congress, Court
Not one above the other
Veto, fiat, tort
Our common interest
Our common defense
Our common liberty
Our common justice
The domestic tranquility
And the general welfare
The pursuit of happiness
And the resources we share
Civil rights
And our protection
From a despotic government
Or an insurrection
Free to worship my God
Or your God
Freedom to find God
Or deny any God
Open discourse
Speaking your mind
You have an opinion
However unkind
Collective grievances
Peaceably petitioned
We walk together
But never threatened
To bear arms
For our security
Or being forced
To quarter unwillfully
To remain secure
In our sanctuary
Unless presented
With writ of entry
Neither held
Absent habeas corpus
Or loss of property
Unless agreed by us
Never forced to testify
To contradict our denials
Or brought forward
In duplicitous trials
To face our accuser
In much haste
Represented by counsel
Our peers decide our fate
Not one but twelve
Examining the facts
We are brought forward
But only this court acts
Reasonable recompense
For fine or bail
Cruel or unusual retribution
Shall not avail
The enumeration
Provides illumination
But within the penumbra
Shadows suggest freedom
What is self-evident
Requires no list or count
Nothing to encumber
Or restriction to surmount
A union has formed
But sacred remains the individual
The tyranny of the majority
Is never permissible
A living breathing document?
Or construction unbending?
But as we amend
Change is never ending
Open to interpretation
If you see a right
Others may disagree
Who can see the light?
The spirit of intent
For all to see
Freedom to choose
Secured by liberty
We The People
A sacred quest
We The People
No more no less

The key  
Opens no door
Reveals no mind
No spoken word
No belief or faith

The mystery
Remains as so
Locked
With no need for human reflection
As the illumination
Within the soul
Directs shadows
Towards the false witness
That lines the walls
Of grey-mattered egoism
Selfish points on a map
Guiding those who are interested
Toward my greatness

But is that not what I speak of?
There is no greatness
And the key knows this

What insight exists
When every utterance is challenged?
When fishes and loaves are not produced?
When water remains water?
When bread and wine are not body or blood?

Who can say what they heard?
Who can describe what they see?
When those who saw
Were unable to tame their fears
As it led them to hide in shame
When those who did not see
Were unable to tame their courage
As it led them to their grave

You see my face
The serenity in knowing what I do not know
The calm in knowing what I am
The comfort in shedding desire
For your approval
As I have thrown the key into the shadows
Where pride begs the sun not to set behind humility

She sees the parade for you
The honor and the respect
But it only makes her cry
What could anyone expect?

It’s as if they want you to die
So they can hand her a folded flag
And walk the fields of glory
As your soul wears a dog tag

She married you soldier
Not the flag
She didn’t marry the war
She didn’t marry the sound
Of battle in her dreams
She married you soldier
Not the flag

She doesn’t want to feel proud
She just wants you to come home
You spend your life in everyone's prayers
While she sits silent with fears that roam

We feel safe because they walk the wall
But the wife of a soldier waits for the news
The news that the hero was her man
The news that her fears freedom would choose

She married you soldier
Not the flag
She didn’t marry the war
She didn’t marry the sound
Of battle in her dreams
She married you soldier
Not the flag

Another year is coming to an end
It seems the same as it began
I was dreaming about someone I once loved
But that dream finally came to an end
It’s too easy to live alone
At least it seems that way
I wonder how we can make it work
Worrying about losing again
Maybe it’s better to live apart
It’s not that I can’t settle down
It's easier to live a life feeling free

I can’t spend it anymore
I can’t spend it anymore
I can’t spend time worrying
Worrying about what happened before

Thinking about when you were mine
It’s time to get that out of my mind
I need to see the open road instead
And take the trip not matter what I find

I have to believe in something
I haven’t been around the world
Or even the other side of the tracks
It’s not that the door is locked
It’s just that I won’t open it
Will the confessions I make
Be enough to love you?

I can’t spend it anymore
I can’t spend it anymore
I can’t spend time worrying
Worrying about what happened before

I made a mistake and read the news today
Another pale man with a soul-less tie got away
With hurting people and polluting his way
To a golden parachute while he tries to cut our pay

Am I supposed to be happy about this turn of events?
A man sits in a tower and manipulates dollars and cents
People really aren’t anything to him but malcontents
I just shook my head and added to my list of discontents

So what’s the story?
Why does wrong get the glory?
Why is salvation illusory?
Why do good men live in poverty?
Why do the rich write our history?
Why do the meek remain thirsty?
Why do the quenched **** our country?
Why is God's love such a mystery?
What’s the story?
What’s the story?

They say I’m just jealous
Always sitting around and drinking with the fellas
Not knowing what to do, expecting someone to tell us
Believing the rich steal our life from us

But that ain’t it my good friend
You see life ain’t all about accumulatin’
And to choose to live humbly is worth glorifin’
So try to understand because I ain’t apologizin'

So what’s the story?
Why does wrong get the glory?
Why is salvation illusory?
Why do good men live in poverty?
Why do the rich write our history?
Why do the meek remain thirsty?
Why do the quenched **** our country?
Why is God such a phony?
What’s the story?
What’s the story?

When is the human race ever going to learn
You can’t keep taking and never waiting your turn
There’s no virtue in selfishness and what you earn
You know who said it but it’s her books time to burn

I’m going to say these things and put myself out there
I don’t care if you think I’m a loser whose going nowhere
‘Cause if I don’t say something then whose gonna care?
You can laugh but it's time for some class warfare

So what’s the story?
Why does wrong get the glory?
Why is salvation illusory?
Why do good men live in poverty?
Why do the rich write our history?
Why do the meek remain thirsty?
Why do the quenched **** our country?
Why is God for some men only?
What’s the story?
What’s the story?

I know their type ‘cause I’m not so young anymore
They smile at you but their sincerity is something to ignore
It’s not real because they’re really looking at the floor
Just hoping you go away so they can keep mining the ore

It’s a loser’s lament and I know that’s where it’s at
I may cry but I tell you I’m not impressed with all that
You take your millions and be a fat cat
But I'm not afraid of you because I ain’t no rat


Copyright 2011. All Rights Reserved. Mark Lecuona

The path to freedom is lined by sin
But is it your own or of someone else?
No matter how aggrieved you may be
It is a true heart that always melts
The flames of rejection burn deep
While the reasons are sparks in the wind
But to live under the yoke of oppression
Is to live a life of anger never to be forgiven

The rows were plowed once again
Sowing the seeds of bitterness
The tears dug deep this time
They forgot about tenderness
I let it happen
The fields awaited
A meadow
A mountain
Death
Heartache
It’s all the same
What is meant to be
Is meant to be
And what will die
And what will grow
Will soon depart
As always
And another tear
Will dig deeper than before
Because pain
Grows well in this soil


Copyright 2012. All Rights Reserved. Mark Lecuona

I do not know if what I say to the questions of our absurd existence
is a suggestion or an offer of supposition inherited from the dreams
of a previous life or the dreams of my ancestors

It is not enough to be loved by a silent creator because we must entertain ourselves while we wait for the one who cannot be described except within the limited knowledge we possess of our own being

The question of taking oneself seriously must be answered with regard
to the value we place upon ourselves; are we special because we say so
or because we are loved by a parent we have never met?

But could it be the love of a child that makes us special in that the innocence of children protects their worth as what they desire from us protects our worth as the desire for one another protects our collective worth?

I once found the pursuit of my desires to be the path to meaning; it was as if pleasure was God but it was a God of selfishness and the pursuit of my own glory and when the truth was revealed I became nothing

Is it the impossibility of sustaining the meaning of life for its own
sake that draws forth the belief in the supernatural while simultaneously abdicating a belief in our ability to be empathetic towards those who share our fate?

Rolling meadows and green hills
The water receding before me
A curtain blowing in the wind
The rain washed winding road of tranquility
Cleansing the ghostly plains
As the hurt of the estranged carpet
Rises to receive a kiss from the clouds
A canvas living to please an artist
Long may a flat lonely field lay
With a star spangled colored sky
Standing proudly over memories
Of sacrifice and painful cry
The past lies in state
With stories of the old west
Granting passage to expectation
As memory remains at rest
If you can possibly know
Of my love for you
Can you become what I felt today
Can you become a serene view?
For what was always there
Asked nothing of the reflection in my eye
Yet gave everything
And waved as my life drove by

the earth moves
where once the stillness of nature and God walked
the edges
of a trembling tree fell from his grasp
while the perfect antlers that he once stalked turned to him,
asking if he felt it too;
but what could be this force
that also brought the tide closer to where we once laid,
with the sun upon our skin
while we cried silently on the inside
as our hearts became like hands on a clock
measuring how long we could possibly love one another;
and it rained and rained, cold snow
and the heat, yes the heat
so much that the fires that once burned fearlessly
turned away;
yet all of these things were only the spoiled dreams
of a quiet day walking with you in the park;
for what could be worse than our angry friends
turning on one another,
unable to ignore the messages
cascading down upon us,
like endless icicles
seeking to dip into the blood of our fears,
making it flow,
empting the hearts that once believed in one another
until we gasp for their solution,
to cure the disease they created within us

I can’t seem to get this thing started
But I know I can find my way home
I can take you to where the ice melts
We can follow it until it turns to foam

How long does it take to gain your confidence
I need the key but the puzzle is in your mind
All these complications for such simple things
Like your cheek rubbing your tears on mine

You're like a home without a door
Nobody knows where to begin
The curtains are shut
And the lights are dim

I know you’re still thinking about him
I would come calling but he got to you
He’s moved on but you can’t come clean
I don’t care about your past but you still do

The path is covered with red leaves
The way you were once loved has fallen
Stop looking at trees that will never live again

I think about the past but you’re not in it
Tomorrow is the only place I can find love
I can’t begin to build a bridge all in one day
But when you cross you’ll know what it’s made of

You're like a light without a switch
Nobody knows how to turn you on
The shadows live a long life now
And your smile runs away from dawn

Welcome to the world of the soothing mind
We have achieved everything once considered impossible

We love our neighbors
We fight no wars
We possess no weapons

We will not achieve full spectrum dominance

We are sane
We ask for nothing
We give everything

You ask where is this world?
I say you are standing on it
But how can this be
For none of the things I say could possibly be true

Oh but they are
Because a dreamer can take you there
I just need one person
And it will become not about me
But instead it will be about we
And in it my daughter will laugh
As she did today
But instead of celebrating a moment
We will celebrate her life
And the life of your daughter
And your son
And mine

We have achieved these things
And it is because we dare to think that way
We do not accept the values of the material world
Nothing is for sale
Because what is priceless cannot be sold
It belongs to everyone
It is holy
It is shared
It is loved by all
And possessed by none

You won’t have to beg
It will be giving
You won’t have to cry
It will be comforting
You won’t have to hide
It will be liberating
You won’t have to wonder
It will be revealing
You won’t have to conform
It will be accepting
You won’t have to pretend

It will be real

There will be a day when you believe in what I say
But you may think you already believe these things
That you don’t need to be told of what is good
But do you believe these things?
Or do you believe in someone?
Or something?
Are you ready to live believing
Or die deceiving?
Are you ready to live naively?
Or die cynically?
Are you ready to live with a dream
Or die with a scream?

It may take one hundred years
A century
But I’m not waiting
I can’t
I will dead long before then
So I will live where I want to live
And it will be wherever I walk
It will be wherever I work
It will be wherever I sleep
There will be no consideration of money
It is about being honest
There will be no spin
There will be no pretend

I may not be shrewd
I may not be clever
But that is because I do not think that way
There is nothing to calculate
There is nothing to manage
There is no solution
There is no opportunity
There is no ethic related to money that exists
Because being true is what this world is about
And the light of this world shines on my children
For they will know their father
And he will NOT teach them how to take advantage of people
He will NOT teach them how to lie when lying is accepted
He will NOT teach them how to be comfortable with sanctimony
He will NOT teach them to display their ego in their every utterance
He will teach them to understand that those who only think of money
Can never their friend

What can you give up for honesty?
What can you give up for empathy?
What can you give up for sincerity?
What can you give up for integrity?

For what you leave at the door to paradise will disappear from your mind
If you can only believe that nothing is everything
If you can only believe that what is inside is the only thing
If you can only believe that who you are is not what you bring
If you can only believe that the world that could never exist is shining
But can you see what is before you?
Or can you only see what man has taught you to see?
What man has taught you to believe
About the failings of everyone
About the lies of commerce
About the desires of the flesh
About the worth of destruction

Yes
Welcome to the world of the soothing mind
Put down your sword
Be who you are
Let them be who they are
Because only love can be everything to everyone
For every color
Has a heart
And every color
Has a heart
And every color
Has a heart
And this is all that is to be known
And when this is known
Then every heart will know
Of every heart
And then you will know
Of what I speak

While the moon bears our blood, we
think about someone we just met but
only until the moment the trade winds
blow the dust aside

An empty saxophone fills with air, playing
sadly until the moon stops to listen

He had to leave early to care for his life
He told her he needed time to fall in love
He thought about the way she smiled
He wanted to believe in her instincts
Was it her imagination that became impatient
Or the way he wiped her brow with her scarf?

It doesn’t take long to know, ships that
pass always remember; looking through
a silk scarf feels the same way, the airy
fabric enjoys trading the dust thread for
grain

Lonely circling bleeding making people
fear for their faith; allure matchmaker,
lovers together, feeling the tides within
crashing upon their desires

It was the time to be bold
Her eyes said so

But scarfs can fool a man and dust can
fool a sparrow; how would he know the
difference when it was his imagination
that must decide between moons passing
through shadows and misty eyed longing
that for a moment begged him to stop
sailing by

A feeling
Is not about who is best
Art
Is not a contest
To insist on a victor
Is an ego that has broken
Showering hate upon the lives
Of hearts that are open*

What may or may not be poetry
Is instead the heart of our family
You commented rather pointedly
About your superior ability
And eloquent verbosity
Most likely derived from history
Of the friends of Neal Cassidy
And other written eccentricity
Yet you forgot your humanity
And instead introduced a monstrosity
An ego steeped in personal vanity
Insisting on being treated royally
Demanding your subjects bow immediately
As you crashed into the sea of tranquility
Planting your flag of superiority
And crushing our words spoken so plainly
But heartfully
Because the letters are unworthy
To one who is challenged emotionally
Unable to live peacefully
Amongst those who wish to learn gratefully
About a craft you have reserved selfishly
For yourself and those you deem to be equally
As adept as yourself in the vagary
Of references you declare to be wholly
Fresh and newly
Minted by your ability
To walk around the cliché so gracefully
While we repeatedly
Use words such as lovely
Or heavenly
Or tearfully
Or holy
So we beg you openly
To understand what is primary
In a place for the novice to publically
Air their emotions unapologetically
And speak candidly
And unconditionally
About how painfully
It is to live freely
In a place so worldly
Where men think judgmentally
******* the life from those who live meekly
And wish to exist thankfully
Amongst those who understand brotherly
Love and who affectionately
Praise those who tenderly
Open their hearts to humanity
Giving mercy
To those without the gifts you egotistically
Bludgeoned us with so artfully
But failing miserably
To impart insightfully
Your wisdom for those who willingly
Would receive daily
Your transcendently
And insightfully
Spoken songs of serenity
But instead you callously
Reminded us unfortunately
That mere man is weakly
Empowered to exist commonly
And instead arrogantly
Cuts the rose greedily
Leaving the thorns sadistically

Something that existed
Before nothing
Made something
From nothing
In seven days
Then fooled a man
With a snake
And a woman
Then flooded something
And made it
Nothing
Then gave us something
A spirit
And a son
Who was God
Or was he?
Raised from the dead
Then nothing
For two thousand years
Except a book
In another language
From another land
And you believe
That's alright
But what does that have to do with me?
The law
Spoken from your lips
Demanding tithes
Judging
Preaching
Witnessing
Praying
Laying hands
Faith healing
Speaking in tongues
Evangelizing
Lifting up
Right
Wrong
Fear
Yeah
That's a lot of talk
But what does that have to do with me?
Born of the same man
But not the same Mom
Separated
Sent away
Living in the desert
Believing in miracles
Of a ****** birth
Of ascension from life
Further revelation
The final prophet
And you believe
That's alright
But what does that have to do with me?
From nothing
Something
Primordial soup
A fish
A monkey
A man
Then death
Then nothing
And you believe
In nothing
That's alright
But what does that have to do with me?
Which miracle should I believe?
The miracle of a God?
The miracle of life from nothing?
The miracle of my life?
The miracle of yours?
How can I be sure?
How can you?
Yet you are
And I am not
Your assuredness
Leads
My skepticism
Follows
The more you believe
The less I do
Why must I be like you?
Are alms not enough?
Stop shaking my shoulders
Stop telling me I’m going to die
Stop telling me I am not chosen
Stop telling me only idiots believe in God
Stop
I met you forty years ago
Then again
And again
Each time
A difference face
Each time
With the same message
Believe
Don’t believe
It never changes
So stop
Please
I've heard it
I've thought about it
I've felt it
You cannot reach me
Only I can reach myself
I know how bad I can be
I know how I hurt others
I know my capabilities
I know my limitations
I know I need to forgive
And I know how I feel
I know
Ok?
So you live
As will I
Let me follow my path
It will be unspoken
I cannot tell
I will not tell
Maybe you will see
Maybe you will know
So
As you follow your path
While disapproving of mine
And you find yourself
Trippin'
Because you were judging my way
Instead of living your own
You might ask yourself
What does it have to do with him?

you thought it was her decision
but instead it was you
she was ready to give you everything
but it was you who locked the door
you thought she was on the inside
ignoring the sounds
while you knocked and knocked
but those who live on the streets wonder
why you won't come outside
or let them in
you treat her like a guest
visiting her life
doing her a favor
forgiving her
explaining her away
waiting for her to open the door
the one you closed
and as you sit alone
she feels the same as before
lost
loving a man who cannot love anything
except his own mind

you were looking at a shattered mirror
you thought I was the moon
laid long by your sorrows
i carefully tried to deflect your hopeful eyes
i pleaded for you to forget the past
but the clouds hid my meaning

you were listening to a flower whisper
you remembered it as a scar
a dandelion blown by caution
a heart trembling while sleeping
you were unable to open your eyes
but my dreams became your own

you once thought morals meant something
you learned it was only pride
a burning mind finally decided
nothing would be hard that you can make easy
once a mirror sees its purpose
a kiss can find the things you once lost

There’s no place to make a sound
If nobody cares about your voice
We all need a way out
But dying is our only choice

So we retreat into death defying acts
It’s all we have as everybody knows
The seeds have no place to go
Because love ends when the rooster crows

The stack of chips follow certain people
But only those who control their fate
Girls look for a skinny circus mirror
And smile at friends they secretly hate

We eat the stale bread of promise
And complain about our lot
Yet the blessings pile up in the corner
Unknown, forsaken and unsought

Hope vanishes in the mist
Its face shrouded in ambivalence
It’s up to you now my God
Will my destiny be your deliverance?

You are
   a gift to these times
With the dignity
   of a survivor
And the sadness
   of those bearing a loss
Inside you the hope
   for a happy moment
While you carry
   the message forward
Always remembering
    to live as grace does
Not making enemies
   of those who fear you
For they know
   your wrath is justified
But not to your
   heart which wants to love
That is who you are
   if only they will let you

You know
Don't you?
You see my picture
A Yuppie
Clean-cut
Straight
Selfish
Greedy
No problems
Just endless opportunities
But why do you think that?
Are you prejudiced?
Well?
Are you?
Is it possible
That maybe
Just maybe
I'm mad too?
That I can relate to you?
Do I have the right
To swear?
To hate?
To be angry?
Or am I too clean?
Yeah
I'm clean
I have my act
I'm boring
At times
I go with the flow
I don't rock the boat
I drink Chardonnay
At the dinner party
As the guests pretend
To be worldly
Because they stood
In Paris
Or Milan
But have they ever stood
In Harlem?
Or East Austin?
At night?
That's worldly
Why?
Because it's real
I haven't stood there
Because I'm scared
But I think about it
All the time
And I wonder
Do I have the right
To be angry?
Can I write a rap poem?
Can I think like them?
Or does my clean
White
Face
Disqualify me?
I want to be mad
Here
Now
Today
And I will be mad
Not because I'm white
Not because I'm not black
But because I know
Yeah
I know
And I hate that I know
And still smile
With my white wine
And my pretend world
Yeah
It doesn't mean ****
Neither does this
Because I don't stand
In the ghetto

As I wandered
I saw a row of signs
The first one said

     Thou shalt not ****

The second one said

     Thou shalt not ****

The third one said

      Thou shalt not ****

It was not God speaking
It was my conscience
Because I know it to be true
It was endless
Each sign
Saying the same thing

     Thou shalt not ****

Yet we do
And we live with it
We live with the killing
And we hear the drums

     Of war

It is happening
And we are helpless to stop it
It will happen
In a land far away
Is this why you are not afraid?
Is it because you know you will survive?
As will your children?

     Thou shalt not ****

Yet we do
And we will
As will they

You don’t know Joy
Neither do I
She’s only twelve years old
But she impacted a lot of peoples lives

She was a normal girl
Full of life
She had lots of friends
She was popular

Joy has two sisters
And a mom and dad
Just a family
They go to church
Her parents both have jobs
The economy made that necessary

But something happened
Halloween was cancelled
People who used to leave their doors unlocked stopped doing that
People who believed in the sanctity of their homes stopped thinking like that
A sleepy college town became part of the real world

You see
They were murdered
Joy
And her parents
Her sisters weren’t home
But they came home to that
And they are scarred
And the murderer was never found

The sherriff said
"But I can see Joy's eyes as clear today as I sit here talking to you."

It happened in 1966
I was eight
And I remember
Because I lived in that town
I was there that night
We read about it
I was scared
But I had forgotten
Until last night when I was reminded

Now I weep for Joy
I want to live a dream for her
But I don’t know what she wants
I want to go back in time
I want to be there when the murderer arrived
And I want to stop him
I want to be there with a shotgun
And blow him away
Maybe you think this is getting too intense
Well it was for Joy
And I’m man enough to do it
I want to **** this man
And I am not sorry that I think this way

I love you Joy
And I’m glad I was reminded
Because a little girl should not be forgotten
Just because time has

Even the truth pauses if
you ask it for the time; a
woman who is smarter than
you still likes it when you
smile at her; every elevator
stops on more than one floor;
a kiss doesn’t always settle
an argument but it still feels
good; if you take the time to
complain about frivolous
things then you already are
its intended victim; there’s
not a woman alive who can
prepare you for the next one;
you will always be unsatisfied
if you take yourself too
seriously; if you can paint
something that you’ve never
seen then you have an
imagination; if you can paint
something that would unnerve
your mother then you are free;
there is nothing you should
ask of someone if you excuse
yourself from the same rules;
a grown-up desires the same
things but knows too much
about tomorrow; if you think
it is too late to discover your
true gift then you are wrong;
to live life waiting for bad news
is no way to live; to see that
others live the same way is
to know that you are not alone;
there is someone out there
for you but if you keep your
heart to yourself then he
will walk past you like a
stranger on the corner; no
matter how creative you are
someone can do it better; if
your ego exceeds your
capabilities then you will
live a life of delusion; the
best way to become empathetic
is to become obsessed with
describing the feelings of
others; a true artist is always
waiting for the next creation
no matter how great the last
one was; the impatience of
the imagination is unleashed
once you recognize that it
exists; there's always one
more love in your life but you
have to give them the chance
you swore you would never do
again; the day you decide to
justify yourself instead of
challenging your beliefs is
the day you stop learning;
there are three ways to change,
a painful mistake, hearing the
truth from your best friend or
comparing yourself to somone
great but without the desire
to change you will remain as
you were when the truth tells
you that time is no longer its
concern; whatever is lodged
in your mind causes disbelief
in something, but have you
built the wall in the right place?

My heart is only a part of something greater

All I know is all I perceive
All I feel is based on need
Need from my own selfish desires
No matter where they may lead

I thought the one I had was whole

All I know is all I perceive
All I feel is based on need
Need from my own selfish desires
No matter the hate it may feed

But in a world of estrangement

All I know is all I perceive
All I feel is based on need
Need from my own selfish desires
No matter if it is from greed

You look for the part someone stole

All I know is all I perceive
All I feel is based on need
Need from my own selfish desires
No matter that I did not plant the seed

Or was it never yours to begin with?

All I know is all I perceive
All I feel is based on need
Need from my own selfish desires
No matter the pain it may breed

Maybe we’re born searching for the pieces

All I know is all I perceive
All I feel is based on need
Need from my own selfish desires
No matter a wrongful deed

And once they are found and then lost again

All I know is all I perceive
All I feel is based on need
Need from my own selfish desires
No matter how evil my creed

You realize the harm caused by your injustices

She knew then
War is hell
On God's green earth
She heard Satan’s bell
The men approached
An officer and a priest
She fell to her knees
Her joy deceased
Her prayers betrayed
All the good lost
Silently hoping
Realizing freedom's cost
The ultimate sacrifice
To give a son
And now he is gone
While she must live on
To tell a mother
Of her grievous loss
There are no words
Only a white cross
As she plummets
Into the abyss
The spirit moves
Delivering a silent kiss
Her life shattered
The garden forgotten
Dinner has become cold
Will her heart ever soften?
Hatred where there was love
Bitterness all she can feel
As their lips move
Words shock does conceal
As she stares into the night
The nails pierce her memories
His face the mirror
Where she lost all her worries
She floats in front of the bullet
And wipes his brow
There is nothing in this life
That matters now
She covers his pale body
As the blood of life flows
He shivers as he reaches his hand
She smiles because she knows
The mercenary
Loves his mother
It is her special place
There is no other
Did he call for her?
Did he have time to cry?
Or did death give him leave?
Mooting the question of why
His duty to his country
Planted the seeds of pride
Now he is dead
She wondered who lied
Is it time for anger
And the walk down hatred’s trail?
She prayed every night
Hoping for a holy veil
"I pray for my son
Oh Lord remember his name
Spare him a short journey
Do not give Satan true aim
Return him to me
The one who bore the pain
I only ask for life
All mothers ask the same"
And now her prayer
Will never again
Pass her lips
Instead only words so profane
Can she turn the other cheek
For the unknown ******
Or for his “superior” officer
Whose order was the killer
Was he expendable
As a stone over the breach
For others to climb
As they left the dead on the beach?
Did his killer survive?
Or is his mother bitter?
The sons of ambition
Are now only its litter
Glory is no solace
As we fail to remember
Life goes on
But not for a lost family member
Did one more death
Win the war?
Or was he just a casualty?
She wondered what for
She is gone now
Whispering his name at the end
We were not there
Flowers we did not send
She never saw the butterflies
Or heard the birds each day
She only thought of her son
Hoping through God he found his way
As I watch my own son
He smiles with his friends
I wonder about the flag
That seems to cover our sins
And how it was folded for her
Forever never to wave
Will it sit in a drawer?
Whose life will it save?
Can I offer him for our country?
As Abraham offered Isaac?
I cry as I feel the shame
It seems courage is what I lack
Did her son die in vain?
Will my son soon follow?
Or will I spit out
The patriotic pill others gladly swallow?
How can I comfort
A dead woman I never knew?
Tell me the answer
What should I do?
I ask you the same
What would you do?
There are no answers
You love your son too
So as we fall silent
I will pray over how she bled
Hoping never to see lips move
Telling me my son is dead*



Copyright 2011. All Rights Reserved. Mark Lecuona

Once our lips meet my love
I will enter a sparkling web of stars
A nebula of diffused and swirling light
Once a dark silhouette cast upon my life
The distance traveled is upon me now
The entire lifetime of our existence reminds
We are so small in his eyes, far and near
And as you keep kissing me, as I dreamed
Each one becomes supernova
More beautiful and violent than the last
Swallowing the one from before
Growing ever larger with gravitational lust
Until galaxies swirling far away find their place
Inside my once void and formless existence
But they will never be large enough
To be even pearls in God’s eyes
For that is why we close ours
To find the light in our own line of sight
The one that is now pressing upon our bodies
Bursting into pieces like the stars that drew us near
The ones that burst long before Christ died
And as my heart is risen inside of me
I can only feel the longing in your arms
As you pull me close to the world of mystery
That draws me to my balcony every night
To renew the vow I made to myself long ago
I will endure God’s wish that I witness the dark silence
Until it becomes the pillars of your breath in my ear
Soothing my longing as what is upon me now
Are the arms of light and memories of the past
But a past of creation and not destruction my love
For you were always the beginning and never the end

“…and no religion too…”
Was it easy to do?
Did it make you angry
Or did you agree?
Is God already dead?
Do you believe what Nietzsche said?
But then who killed him?
Was it us or them?
With their rejection
Or your revelation?
We live with man’s insistence
Of defining God’s existence
Creating us in his image
With a holy marriage
Of our disobedient soul
To an ancient scroll
Or does science
Define our conscience
As pure logic
With all else pathologic?
How can we believe
The zealots who cleave
To intellectual scorn
Or under whose God they were born?

“… and there is no country…”
From the pages of history
War and conquest
From time earliest
Past the age of reason
Marching each season
With imperialistic fury
And dominating hegemony
The meek unable to rule
Believing like any fool
The words of the deceased
Strewn from Eden to the East
Giving hope to the hopeless
Who have no access
To the dreams of the chosen
But instead remain frozen
In time to be glorified
By mere words that personified
Our need to care
In impotent prayer

Can you separate your senses
From those whose defenses
Are erected so high
That you cannot tell truth from a lie?
Can you dream of a world
Where a bohemian’s word
Stripped of accompaniment
And all earthly judgment
Has stood the test of time
Even when accused of the crime
Of a treasonous plea
For peace and all to see
The cruelty and horror
That power and desire
Have brought to our garden
Where the meek receive no pardon
Because they dared to beg
For a mere pittance to mask
Their pain and suffering
As they lived with the knowing
That a song about dreamers
Can never overcome the schemers
Who laughed at his naivety
And forced upon you their deity



All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2011. Mark Lecuona.

I walked in
God’s gift to women
I had nothing to offer
Except my presence
You
Cleaned the place
Set the table
Tea cups
Flowers
Spoons and forks
Scones
Art work
Books
Candles
A thank you note to someone
A duvet
Pillows
A rod iron frame
Pictures
Everything matched
It was perfect
The scent of femininity
Baked in the allure
You smiled at me
You had done all this
For me
And I thought
I’m not worthy
But it had no effect
Because I’m God’s gift to women
And that's my problem

My old friends
Fear, dread and worry
Have regained prominence
In my life’s story
The hard shell
Has begun to crack
From the exertion
Of my phony act
The monster
Under the bed
Of my youth
Is still not dead
My old enemies
Selfishness, avarice and hubris
Continue to guide me
Into the abyss
Of failure
Of neglect
Of uncaring
Of lack of respect
Towards others
As I swim further
Into the delusion
That I am superior
But to what?
Or to whom?
Those who starve
While I consume?
Do I smile
While the unemployed
Cry the tears
That I avoid?
As I step over the puddle
I chant in the mirror
"How great thou art"
While the truth draws nearer
I am not the answer
To love
How could I be
When I place myself above?
What I want
Becomes mine
No matter the ethos
I recognize no line
But I beg of you
Tell me now
Tell me the truth
I want to know how
To live humbly
To give generously
To sacrifice willingly
To serve gratefully
Stripped of pride
I ask to be forgiven
Tell me what I need to hear
I promise
I will listen

You are so beautiful
And you know it
You feel their eyes
But try not to show it
An untouchable bird
Never lighting for long
Do you want love?
Can you hear it in my song?
You have the power
That no man can understand
You can have whom you want
But that's not how you play your hand
I'm not the one
Your mother wants
I'm the one
Your body wants
I'm kissing you now
And feel you press against me
I wonder about men and women
And why we think so differently
I don't know
What it is that you want
You kept flying away
Taking the gifts you loved to flaunt
Suddenly you landed on my life
And let me pick fruit all day
But you remained distant
The same as when you looked away
You made me love you
Like a man who stares
Then you left for another
The one who bought all your cares
The bird needs her nest
Letting passion fall
She made a man cry
And became the girl who resisted my call
She pretended not to remember
How I made her scream
Because it was never about emotion
But what a man's seed can bring

You do not have to speak in a language that I understand
I can already see the vision in your eyes
There is no need to show me your weakness
Or how I can take advantage
Friendship does not trade on trust

But your burdens are welcome
As is your pain
For these things require no commitment from you
The already exist
And the vision we share is the same
As is the memory of the past
All we lack is the courage to be human

We walk on warped plywood
Painted with what to do with our time
It's the next layer I'm talking about
It's not what I need from you that matters
It's that we are ready for the same color
Even if we never find it
Because
It's the vision and not so much the focus
That would be too much work
The burdens we carry do not need new friends
Only the idea that someone knows what to do with them

The sky is beautiful tonight
But not as beautiful as you
The moon has vanquished the stars
But you brought them back to life
They have gathered together
Moving closer to be by your side
But they will slowly fade away
Like love washed away by the tide
Yes the sky looks beautiful tonight
But it remains jealous of you
Because nature is not as wonderful
As a smile that lights the coming dawn*



Copyright 2011. All Rights Reserved. Mark Lecuona

I knew my love was acting too tame
Though my eyes started a tempest from within
You said you dreamed about me
But I said things that saved you from my sin

That wasn’t what you wanted to hear
You wanted me to scare you
To say things that made you feel *****
To do things you never thought you’d do

How do you treat an angel
When you want to act like the devil?
I know the things I want to tell her
I want to take it to another level

But I wasn’t really in your dream
Only your image of me was there
I don’t know the things you want
Should I keep it safe or conquer the fear?

I gave you a glass of wine
Then I kept pouring it all over you
It matched the dress I wanted undone
The purple silk gave me courage to touch you

How do you be a gentlemen
Holding doors open for a princess?
I want lock the door on morality
So your dream will die inside my darkness

I like to fly high
But I like solid ground
Thin air under my feet is a stormy sea
I want to see the world
I want to touch the stars
A mountain is the place for me

I don’t need to fly
I like it where there is no sound
Except the heart of an aspen forest tree
I want to see the world
I want to touch the stars
A mountain is the place for me

I don’t need to ask why
I already know what I’ve found
It’s what my eyes tell me I can see
I want to see the world
I want to touch the stars
A mountain is the place for me

I don’t like to hear goodbye
But I won’t be the one love drowned
And you will never make me a nobody
I will see the world
I will touch the stars
A mountain is what I will be

It was another hot day
Like always
I was walking slow and thinking about the night
Then some words appeared in my mind
And I knew it would be all right

It was another beautiful girl
Like always
I was staring at her and thinking about the night
Then her naked body flew into my mind
And I knew it would be all right

It was another setting sun
Like always
I was sadly silent and thinking about the night
Then its darkness cooled my mind
And I knew it would be all right

It was another long day
Like always
I was tired and thinking about the night
Then my fatigue disappeared into my mind
And I knew it would be all right

It was another long conversation
Like always
I was relating and thinking about the night
Then nothing was left in my mind
And I knew it would be all right

I was made for the night
I solve its mysteries
I keep its secrets
From the coming light

It's hot... like always
She's beautiful... like always
It's gone... like always
It's over.... like always
I'm done... like always
It's alright... like always