Death was all she had left.

I know I have no chance, I know there will always be someone before me.
But before you make this your final decision, give me a chance.
Give me a chance to show you I know how to love, and I know how to love you.
Let me show you my true colors, my real spirit, my real self.
Give me a minute to let all my inhibitions go, be real, and be silly.
I love to be silly.
I guess that's something you should know.
I like to prance around in boxer shorts and oversized t-shirts belting out Taylor Swift like no other.
I like to make funny faces on snapchat and tweet song lyrics.
I will always laugh uncontrollably no matter how funny something is, that's just me.
I will always want to cuddle during thunderstorms, and I will always want to watch movies that make me cry.
I will never not love being kissed on the forehead, and hearing someone say, "you're cute."
This is Marisa, and this is Marisa unraveled.
This is me breaking out of the everyday norm.
And if you want to put me first,
You have to accept the challenge of loving me,
then you have to accept all my silliness and my quirks.

If you wanted me so badly, why am I making all the effort now?
You never text first and when we do text it's as if we've never spoken before.
I'm excited to meet you, excited to feel your lips on mine.
But part of me thinks I blew it, just like I've blown everything in my life.
Everyone leaves, everyone walks away.
I thought you'd be the first to stay.
I know I think too much, I know I text too much.
It's a fear of losing you.
A fear I've known too well.
I just wish you'd respond and give me a way to tell.