Tonight I watched the sun melt
fall into the sea and wash away
the beauty in the sky
meant nothing to me


I was tired
of so many painful hours
of dark days
watery eyes
and tear stained cheeks


This unwelcome story
how will it end?
And where is the memory
of when it began?


What day was it
when everything changed?
When the right to be cheerful
was no longer granted


When the morning comes
the dark will be present still
as dark as the days before
senseless moments
playing games within
jumbled
mixed up
spinning in slow backward circles
as my mind trips lightly over itself
again and again
over and over
and all before me there is
nothing


I will run as fast as I can
because it's all I know
my familiar friend
my hideous buddy
my mocking dark day pal


I’ll run until my breath is extinguished
outsmarting my chasing dragon
of shadows
decades past
of the deepest black night


Nothing follows me
but still I run
to find freedom
to dig for gold
from under the elusive rainbows


But always
I run alone
just me running from I


Drained
hollow
numb
a plain empty jar


It’s time to lay down my fears
leave my senses to rest
I’ve run too much
too long
too hard



Time to tell the dragon
his time is up
acknowledge the empty space
that lingers behind me
and be grateful for being alone


I will sit and wait for the sun
revel in the beauty of the sky
resurrect those things
that have long been dead to me


Wait for the light inside
for the radiance to be felt
to be seen
be understood
and once again become my friend


Slow
but sure
I return to myself

•
i
    am
       a sea
           farer•a
                  rider of the
                         dwindling air...
•
one day my ailing boat would invite
the water•i will finally sink into
~ ~ ~~oblivion's lair•~~ ~ ~
~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~  *~ ~
~~ ~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~
~~ ~ ~~~ ~ ~~~ ~ ~~   ~~
~~ ~~ *•m y exis tenc e ~ ~ ~~  
    ~~ w ill then  be • but a we a k, ~
i ndis  cern ible... reflec  tion of my sel f
~   •  ~
                      ~     i' d notb e  free •but~
        ~    ~          t rapped i n abo x
                   ~   on a  lon g for-  ~~
              g o tte  n  ~
~    sh e ~
l  
f
•
.~

you're all soft lines
and blurry edges:
like the moments between each
rise and fall of our chests
while your lips entwine mine
with every breath.

you're all droppy eyes
and silent screams:
looking behind you
everytime you leave,
keeping doors locked
and your teeth flossed.
never letting a single thing
escape your mind that you've lost.

you're all languishing stares
and rough hands -
you've kept mine clean,
laced yours around mine
and promised forever this time.