when a poet falls in love with you
you can never die
they will notice the way
you rub your palms and look down
when someone is angry at you
and the way you smirk
as you pull away from a kiss

they will notice how you can't sleep
without your body touching someone else's
how you never crease any pages of books
and how you close your eyes when you dance in your kitchen
with your record player on

they will find all of the words
that they see you as
and turn them into something beautiful

people say you die twice
once when you stop breathing
and when someone says your name
for the last time

if you fall in love with a poet
they will never stop
mentioning your name
you will be alive
for eternity

At 5 years old
She liked a boy
That told her she was "pretty".
They sat hand in hand
And played pretend
That they were "Oh so ready!"
She told her friends
So they all giggled without an end.

At 10 years old
She liked a boy
That told her she was "gross".
"Too much hair! Look at that fat!
I'd rather like a monkey instead!"
Tears rolled down,
Self esteem has broke.
She told no one,
Because she already knew
What she was...

At 15 years old
She liked a boy
That told her she was "beautiful".
So strong and tall,
She gave no thought
But loved him always more.
"He is no good for you"
"Find someone better"
She let these words fly past.
They stood hand in hand
Against the world
They always stood together.

But something changed...

No longer interested in her
"I can not wait no more!"
He robbed her of her flower once,
And then once more.
Regret and tears,
Nothing more.
She held it all inside too long.
She asked for help.
In need of aid.
But got nothing more
Than blue, purple, and red
All over her.

At 17 years old
She liked no one.
She went nowhere.
She did nothing.
She wanted forgiveness.
She wanted life to simply end.
No words to speak.
Only thoughts filled her now.
The "Why?" and "What?" and "How?"
They almost killed her.
She cried all night.
She sat all day
With nothing else getting in her way.
All alone,
No longer her,
Thinking of the best way,
To finally give in
And say,

Goodbye...



-FreeMind

“You do this to yourself”
“Just stop thinking about it”
“It’s all in your head”

I wish I did
I wish I could
I wish it was

I come to you not because I want to
But because I have to.
I come to you after hours of sitting and thinking,
Thinking and sitting,
Wondering and worrying if what I am about to tell you
Will alter your view on me.
No, not what I’m about to tell you,
What I am about to trust you with.

I feel naked as I stand before you with
Words on my tongue, laying my mind piece by piece between us.
Piece by piece, word by word, thought by thought.
I trust you enough to recall my darkest days and my brightest moments.
I give you a piece of me and all I ask is that you accept it.
I don’t want you to nurse me back to health
I just want you to understand.

“You made all of this up”
“What’re you going to do? **** yourself?”
“This is just you looking for attention”

I wish I did
I wish I could
I wish I was

You look at me with pity in your eyes.
Not because I’m hurting, oh no,
Because I am a fool
How could I, the happy, smiley, outgoing child
Be unable to look at my own reflection and say
“I am proud to be me”
You mock me.
You mock my words.
I feel tears ***** my eyes but I am too ashamed to let you
See me break down under you.
I am ashamed.

I scramble to pick up the pieces of shattered glass that lay between us
But my shaky hands and glassy eyes betray me.
I retreat and begin to wonder how I could be such an idiot.
With a racing heart and shallow breath I reflect.

“You always have someone to talk to”
“You can always talk to me”
“It’s all going to be okay”

I wish I did
I wish I could
I wish it was.