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it was simple with you

it was simple with you at the beginning but the further we got into this the more my poems included maybe's in them

I told you im afraid of thunderstorms but the worst are when you're not here and I'm alone staring at a screen that causes what feels like a bucket of bitter salt water to come pouring down my cheeks only to remind me how human I am and how impossible to save from the things I fear most

Maybe you're here to teach me a lesson on love even when I thought I had learned them all but if that's the case I want to be left alone now because I don't have a warning alarm and I feel like I'll drown soon

Lifeboats are unnecessary but maybe next time you could bring something other than a rope that I keep cutting my hands on because all I do is hold on and on and on and on until eventually my skin cracks and no lotions can help it anymore

You can't keep giving me mountains of ambiguity because my rivers don't work well with them and eventually you'll cause a drought that perpetuates long past the end of this relationship and long past the end of maybe's
and somehow your words made their way through my tongue and into my heart urging it to beat to only your lips
god it's crazy how quickly and slowly two and a half months can pass
 Dec 2016 Luisa C
Colm
Write Left
 Dec 2016 Luisa C
Colm
The only way to write is to write.
To express yourself and express some more.
And to speak your mind in every form,
Until your tongue is stretched out across the floor.

And as you write, show no signs of remorse,
For the words which you’ve always adored.
Since they only exist to be used by you,
And abused by you as you write henceforth.

With a passion, gusto, pride, and fire,
You must dig for the words which you desire,
To represent your hollow shell.
To speak of the heavens and of the hells,
In which you may or may not have already dwelt.

Would you learn how to speak before you think,
Be it only to share something distinctly known to you,
Within your thoughts?
Would you shape yourself into someone who’s not,
Afraid to question more often than not?

Because to write requires a questioning mind,
Which struggles against the ebb of time,
In the hourglass tipped on its side.
Hence why we see our very lives,
like shifting sands beneath our feet,
And the grains our memories stored inside.

So would you pull a perspective from within yourself,
And pass it around, and hopes it will help.
Because the truth to me most obviously,
Is that the world will spin,
But one day we will all die wordlessly.

And my hope for you is that you will write,
For whatever is left in your own life,
And not for whatever is next in line.
I'll never stop second guessing this one. Because it truly from me.
 Dec 2016 Luisa C
Meg
sewing the open wounds shut
hurts just as much
as the wounds themselves
 Dec 2016 Luisa C
Forever Yours
Here we are again
The same place we always end up.
It's like when the day ends
and everyone else goes to bed,
we find this feeling more comfortable
than any bed ever could be.
And so we end up going days
upon days
without sleep.
We are forever stuck in this cycle of wanting to
but not needing to
needing to
but not wanting to
and ultimately not being able to want
or need
to admit the truth of what's really happening
behind closed doors.
Like one of those families
that show up to church on Easter Day
and Christmas Eve,
but curse gods name every other day of the year,
we sit here
and pretend that we aren't doing this again.
That I'm not sitting here
telling you I love you,
and you're not sitting there
staring at me
not knowing what to say.
Just like old times
we would rather pretend
that this is just an awkward silence,
totally normal.
Normal like missing two weeks of work
because you're too distraught
over someone's lack of love for you
to get out of bed.
Normal like daydreaming
of burning my skin with bleach
to erase the feeling of your hands.
When I say "I love you",
you say absolutely nothing,
and I flinch
as if your fist is inches from my body.
We sit here
and pretend to be entirely too calm,
pretend like I'm not going to go home
and try to **** myself again.
Pretend like you really didn't see the texts,
not that you were ignoring them.
Every moment of my life
feels like this,
I cannot remember a time
when every ounce of my time
was not occupied by feeling this.
There are photos of me with people
who call themselves friends
all over the Internet,
which proves I used to get enjoyment
from things other than you,
but now,
in this inescapable moment,
I can't even remember their names.
I'm the type of person
who finds solace in routine,
but sitting here explaining to you
how my dying body is decaying
from the inside out
because of this sadness,
because of this overwhelming love,
explaining this to you
every day of my life
only to be greeted with silence yet again,
is this furthest thing from comfort
that I have ever had to encounter.
 Dec 2016 Luisa C
Nelsya
i walked by myself
here and there
just to feel
whether the existence of I is sensed or the opposite

i ripped myself
in and out
just to see
if there are no chances in survival or somehow some parts will heal

i love and i care
for myself and I
just in case
just in case no one can and will
 Dec 2016 Luisa C
Poppy Johnson
she was red with love,
full of it; the feeling oozed from her skin
and dripped from her laughter like honey.
love stuck to the walls of her home
and she painted with it;
her life was a canvas and red was the colour
and your hands were her paintbrush.
i guess you didn’t realise
that her colour stained other people.
(his lips used to be blue but they’re purple now.
they probably taste different too but
you never asked her if they tasted sweeter than yours)
your own skin was the colour of moss.
dirt was under your fingernails.
your hair was full of splinters.
her hair was always so soft
even when you ripped it out of her.
she’s all red now.
even her throat is smiling.
she still laughs in technicolour.
 Dec 2016 Luisa C
Poppy Johnson
he takes photographs of forgotten things.
an umbrella left, still dripping, on a train seat.
a toy rabbit, well-loved, with one ear chewed off.
it was on the side of the road.
a christmas card from somebody’s mother,
still in its envelope.
and now, he points the camera my way.
it flashes.
i forget to smile.
 Dec 2016 Luisa C
S Smoothie
Matter
 Dec 2016 Luisa C
S Smoothie
Kisses sent to the moon and beyond
blown with a breath on a heartbeat
Why do the stars drift so far?
why do you hide amongst them so well?
To you, wherever you are,
sitting atop my lucky star
the one with the Halo burning bright
can you feel my love tonight?
Do you hear my deepest wish
jump a little star or two closer,
If only just a while, to close the distance between you and I
to capure some small pulse of your resonance
So that I might respire,
In the absence of your burning touch and heavenly fires
That set alight the ache, of long held desires
a kiss on the breath of a heart beat,
hunts the space of time
for a flicker in the hopes
in some small way,
I still matter...

Kisses to the moon and beyond
blown with a breath on a heartbeat
Why do the stars drift so far?
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