all this time
i blamed myself
for being
purple
when you thought
i should be
red
because it went better
with my eyes

now i am
a shade of
blue -

neither my
original self
nor
what you want

and blue is the color
of depression.

you have given me
so much love
that my two arms
cannot carry it

so i have grown
stronger
to be able to
bear it all

i have come to accept
that i am always
full
of love
of hate
of anger
of pain

i am never
half way

i can never
meet you
in the middle

if you pick me up
and make me spill
i am not sorry

its the things
that were never planned
that taught you
how to breathe again.

and in those moments
when you ask me,
"are you okay?",
there is too much
light
to say no
and too much
darkness
to say yes

his eyes
were as
blue
as the way
he made me feel.

i am not
a
¨lover¨
but rather,
a temporary
fixation