arms in the air,
they fall so effortlessly,
so gracefully.
eyes closed,
i feel my body turn into the spring air,
feet moving in every direction
like the world was mine and every step i took made it.
my body moved in the direction my heart pulled it at.
i felt a smile grow onto my face as i let the music notes in,
as i let their voices in and fill my veins with elation.
as i feel my heart closing in again,
my steps and arm movements become softer.
opening my eyes again,
i'm back on earth,
every inch of my body tingling with euphoria.

removing the crutch and being here
slowing down all the best-laid plans
seeing the ***** life had none as such
grabbing has turned a soul untouched
prisoner of a rusty heart, I confess as much

All that a man wants
     But does not have.
Can be traced back
     To him, indefinitely.

Because all that a man
     Is required to do
Is to speak the truth.

And to ask with an open
     Honest heart
With a fearless
     Mindful propensity.

How to ensure that you’ll never sleep again:
Halfway wake to a tickle
Decide you’re dreaming, and ignore it
Almost asleep again...
Feel another tickle
Grab for back of neck
Feel a definite something

trying to disappear

don't know how.

what i want i can't have, what i want doesn't want me, what i want i don't work hard for and what i can't have, i wish for.

i want a better way to express my contempt for the opposite illusion of this world. being bad will bring bad luck, being good will bring good luck.

only fairy tales and kicks in the back it feels to me.

im tired of waiting up for messages I'll never receive from people I'll never meet.

im sick of being in pain every month and knowing its continous unless i birth another useless me.

'one day it'll get better'

it could be 60 years and it never gets better. the world is ending and nobody cares, i might not be here to see it but id be glad when i depart this world.

i hope its not dark and cold. i hope its warmth and happiness, the feelings i want to feel, i hope they exist when i depart.

i don't want to leave so soon, whenever my heart decides it can no longer carry the pain, i will go.