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  Aug 2016 Aspen S
its gonna make sense
your love for me
was like rain;
sometimes it was raining hard,
sometimes it feels like
the storm was coming,
and sometimes it was raining lightly*

but just like rain
it was just only passing by

©IGMS
Aspen S May 2016
the menace that abandoned my house
eventually came back
it used the words God gave him to threaten
everything in its path
he came back
screaming, clawing, gnawing at his prey
until there was nothing to left
its teeth would clench if his food
wouldn’t cooperate,
then he’d hold them down
to keep them from struggling

the same thing happened to you
but this was different
your menace was a real man,
someone who never quite understood
what consent meant
no one understands the word, "consent"
  May 2016 Aspen S
subpar star
i can't. i can't do this anymore. i deserve so much more than this, more than you. you are selfish, and you are using me and i hate that it took me this long to see it. i am sick of feeling empty when i am with you, and desolate when i am without you. you are not the one who will complete me. my love for you is unreal, i would do anything for you, and i cannot live like that anymore. i am tired of compromising my happiness for you, of changing who i am to fit you. loving you is like being caught in the ocean's undertow, getting pulled farther and farther out. i am lost in you. when you first touched me, i bloomed like a flower in the spring, but now every time you touch me i wilt, a part of me dies. so don't. don't do that. don't tell me that you love me, don't tell me that i am perfect, don't whisper your hurried compliments in my ear. i need you out of my head, out of my dreams, out of my heart. watching you destroy yourself is destroying me too and i can't allow you to drag me down into the pit of your despair. your mistakes are not mine, not anymore. so tell me that you hate me. tell me that you never loved me, that i meant nothing to you. break my heart over and over. set me free.
  May 2016 Aspen S
Lora Lee
Borderlines
        of love and lust
crossovers from uncertainty
                 to trust
How we travel
vast countries
in search of living
We forget that taking in
                           is also giving
We strive to reach
and forget ourselves
our process breached
                 in heaven's wells
And I am drowning
                in this murky sea    
submerged in this place
                 of mystery
Sometimes darkly
Sometimes bathed in
              sweet strata of light
Sometimes wrapped
                closely inside
gentle tendrils
of night
All the while speaking
the language of
       awareness and fire
my words heated-up silk
dripping molten desires
I throw to the winds
relics of ancient spells
conjure my heaven
          to chase out the hell
Polish off the dust
and shake out my soul's fabric
         air out my cells
Fill them up
          with new magic
And as I continue
      to break down these walls
         and spin off into
the astral spheres --
    I do my best to emulate
picking ripened fruit,
plucking sparks
         from the cosmos
so I may live
without
fear
  May 2016 Aspen S
k
You had me there for a second. Had me believing. Wanting. Aching. And then....breaking. You had me like no boy has before. You held more then my thrusting hips, my lustful lips, my hand wrapped in yours like you were scared I'd diss...appear.
'What more, what more is there?' - you cry

Well foolish boy, don't act so surprised.
Didn't they ever tell you in your Sunday school teachings, that the seeds you sow grow and grow, when you water them?
Maybe you missed that day since you saw no crime in taking your sweet time to plant your love deep inside my soul and you fed that garden come sunshine or cold. But come season for reaping, you were nowhere to be seen. You fled when you saw the beautiful monster that flourished.  You only wanted a garden and could not handle my forest. But enough about you leaving, let's talk about loving. Ah.
That is all we want to hear about isn't it?
The ones that made it. The fairytale endings. The moments you searched for hidden cameras 'cause reality was too, too perfect. You always said perfect like something bitter on your tongue. Like you weren't deservèd of it, your excuse being we're too young. But you said my name like it was your favourite song and each night you cursed the days for being so long,
dismal and futile when lacking my presence. You fought battles with my insecurities and made best friends with my hopes.  
You said, 'we got this, let's go'
And boy did I go. But your hands grew slippery, your lungs too weak. You could not keep up, but I'm not one for defeat.
Please know that I kept going, long after you let go. Please know that I kept growing, long after the cruel winter snow.
Please know that I love you,
but this is not a love poem.
  May 2016 Aspen S
falling
it's crazy how
a year and two days ago
I went on my first date,
a year ago next week
I had my first kiss
and
it almost killed us,
a year ago next month
I did something
I can't decide if I regret or not,
and a year ago this July
I leaned that I was head
over heels for someone
who was already three steps
ahead,
moving on.
wow time flies ?? ouch
  May 2016 Aspen S
its gonna make sense
i already buried my voice a long time ago
when i chose to be a poet
i buried it with words in papers
in ink of pen with blues*

©IGMS
it seems like
im so exhausted
of all the talking
of all the reasoning
of defending myself
so i remained silent
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