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 Jul 2020 lost cause
your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you
if only i could chase you with pizza but shots don't work like that
 May 2018 lost cause
i wrote you
a letter every day
letters to tell you
just how i feel

written in neat, curved
writing i told you
just how sweet
i thought you were
how you made my heart

letters in which i wrote
with various colors of ink
pouring out my whole being
to you

i wrote you
a letter every day.

i wrote you letters in which
i told you how you made me

i found myself
pressing harder on
the paper
than i had before.

creating tears in them
similar in shape
and size
as the ones
inside of me.

i began to send
with creases
and bumps
and stains
splattered with tears

from my eyes

as i wrote
the anger
bubbling within me.

my last letter
addressed to you
no words

but was blank.
i had none that

could reach
as far

and deep

into the cracks
of my

to describe
what you

had left
of me.
a draft i decided to finish because it took a totally different turn than originally intended.
i know you deserve the universe
and i'm just a star,
burning bright but burning fast
burning out
a cold cluster collapsing in on itself,
a black hole;
i will **** you in,
bend and break your light
and swallow you whole
'til you're as lost in me as i am in you

i know you deserve the universe
and i'm just a star,
burning bright but burning fast
burning out
a could cluster collapsing in on itself:
i'm not enough.
pass me by, seek your galaxies
it will be enough for me
just to feel you in my orbit
at least once
before i implode.
 Jan 2017 lost cause
Mike Patten
We need to stop analyzing the past,
stop planning the future,
stop figuring out precisely how we feel,
stop deciding exactly what we want when we want it.
Sometimes, we just need to stop,
and see what happens.
You see, what we learn, and who we become,
in the process of waiting,
is often more important than the thing we were actually waiting for.
It was many and many a year ago,
  In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
  By the name of ANNABEL LEE;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
  Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
  In this kingdom by the sea:
But we loved with a love that was more than love—
  I and my ANNABEL LEE;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
  Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
  In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
  My beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
So that her highborn kinsmen came
  And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
  In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
  Went envying her and me—
Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,
  In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
  Chilling and killing my ANNABEL LEE.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
  Of those who were older than we—
  Of many far wiser than we—
And neither the angels in heaven above,
  Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
  Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
  Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
And the stars never rise but I see the bright eyes
  Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,
  In her sepulchre there by the sea—
  In her tomb by the side of the sea.
 Jan 2017 lost cause
m i a
why do i have to be the one suffering?

my thoughts are intereupted daily
and buffering

because i'm thinking about you,

why must i express my pride

and continue to hide

my true feelings for you,

i miss(ed) you,
come back to me,
tell me what i did wrong

give me
the key
to c l o s u r e.
i wrote this at three am elijah, because for some reason you're all i think about. I jist want it to stop. i just want closure.
 Apr 2016 lost cause
i wanted it to be beautiful,
i wanted us to be beautiful,
i wanted it to be how it was before,
but now im stuck in november
and everything is turning cold again.

ive come to realize that sometimes forever
is cut short, and some memories are only made to last in your heart.

ten, fifteen, twenty years from now, i will still remember you, and how you bite your jaw when something is wrong.
ten, fifteen, twenty years from now, i will still carry you, and all the stories you told me at 3am when we couldn't sleep.
because god were we in love.

with you i wanted to be on fire,
but all i feel is the burn.
 Mar 2016 lost cause
even if i could wish you away,
along with all the memories,
i dont think i would..
 Feb 2016 lost cause
i promise, i did love you,
i do love you,
i just never got the chance
to be in love with you.
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