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  Jul 2020 lost cause
misha
your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you
if only i could chase you with pizza but shots don't work like that
lost cause Nov 2019
i used to be independent
making every move on my own.
but now i seek help/guidance on everything i need done.
i wanna say i lost myself
but i don’t know where.
it’s almost as if the further i get away from you i slowly disappear.
it’s been years since i’ve even seen you, or heard your soft voice.
but i know you still think of me because you’ll check on me every few months.
i tell you i’m doing great because in reality i am.
but beneath the layers there’s pain that i don’t think anyone knows that’s there.
i try to stay busy and keep people near
but i have so much emotion that it’s hard to conceal.
i still run from my problems if you ever wondered
i don’t have the strength to face them head on.
i lost that in you and never regained that.
but one thing you did teach me is how to love deep and that is something i’ll never forget
just like you
i’ll never forget.
lost cause Jan 2019
if i wrote my future
all would be changed
from the way i was raised
to the thoughts in my brain
if i wrote my future
no love would be lost
so i’d stand right beside you
no matter the cost
if i wrote my future
i’d bring nothing but peace
and save you from sorrow
and the darkness that creeps
if i wrote my future
you’d still be here
but you wrote my future
and i did nothing
but stare
lost cause Jan 2019
look up,
you’ll see the stars
look down,
you’ll see the grass
look back,
you’ll see your past
look ahead,
you’ll see your future
me,
i see you
in every direction
you are there
always
lost cause Apr 2018
i’m so tired
of the way i live,
with no sense of purpose
like a book with no end

but once i met you
my life was reborn,
i feel that suddle spark
i once felt before

and although i am frightened
by the power you hold,
i will give you all of me
in hopes you will love me whole
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