this stupid love song should not remind you of him

maybe I was never the right girl for this boy
but he was the one who didn't wanted to give it a try
I broke down before his eyes and it wasn't the first time

I need to stop thinking about this boy
but those night with him were my most favorite thing in the world
whenever I was near him the world was a little bit more beautiful
and no not the kind of beautiful you can describe in words

I dont want to use you as a distraction
just because I cant get over this ******* with blue eyes
you are treating me so good yes you really are an angel
and yes maybe you are the best thing that ever happend to me
but that also is the reason it is so hard to love you

the nights are longer when Im not around you
I can feel the summer coming and I need you near me
maybe it will take months for us to talk again, like we used you
but I dont mind my dear, I will be here waiting for you

I will be waiting here untill the night gets shorter...
because the summer always was and always be our thing.

when we are little everything seems big

the older people will tell you scary stories about the world
how it changed over the years and how you should live
they will tell you all the things you never wanted to hear

but they wont tell you about the flowers and gardens
about the oceans and birds flying in the sky, the sunrise
the stories about happiness are like a forbidden secret
something you need to discover yourself in this world

I always wanted to die young because growing up scared me
I remember saying these terrible things to myself in the mirror
things like you wont ever reach seventeen, you are not worth living

and now Im sitting in my room at the age of seventeen
still discovering the little secret called happiness
maybe I will never figure it out or maybe I do someday

oh well for now Im just fine with being a teenager in love.

This old village--
not a single house
    without persimmon trees.

it's six in the morning,
and the birds aren't singing.
the clouds are rumbling,
and the winds are roaring.
this quite old
and creaky house
somehow manages to muffle
the noises—
with the help
of my cozy, blue blanket,
a warm cup of black coffee,
and you,
Mom.

I should be happy but I am not
I should be smiling but instead im crying

I feel all alone in the world and no one will ever understand
and I know you will tell me you do understand me
and that you are there for me and that you think im everything
well sorry my love but I cant be your everything
when I feel like nothing

maybe it is the right time for the demons to come and get me
we always had this great connection to be honest
I would tell them my sad stories, I would cry
and he promised me to always make me feel better
he promised me to never leave my side and I think he never did
he is just on a trip to see the world but he will come back
and maybe he will bring me something or maybe not
I dont really care to be honest, I just miss him.

dear prince of the hell
I dont know where you are in the world
but please come back to me because I need you
or do you hate me.. did I do something wrong
is that why you are leaving the scars and marks on my body
I never told your secret and you always kept mine
even if you are never coming back..
I will always love you and be thankfull for the things you did
but please keep protecting me..

I miss having you in my room.

I could write a story about my life
how everything went wrong in december
the day that I turned sixteen

my old world closed and a new one opend
a world filled with drugs, alcohol and good music
it was a time of badboys, overthinking and heartbreaks
it went on with wearing too much make-up and crazy hair colors

first I was scared for all these things
my world was changing and so was I
but after a while I got used to it, it began to feel like home
a place where I could be myself, filled with lovely broken people

when I was sixteen I met this girl
she was a bit like me but different
she had something special..
maybe it was her smile

I always was surounded by demons, everyone could see it
but this girl really was an angel, she was the light in the sky

so maybe I shouldn't write a story about myself this time

I should write a story about you
how you make me crazy and confused
how annoying you can be sometimes
but more important about
how much you mean to me
how you make me feel special

but it always made me feel like falling
it should have made me feel like flying

oh sweet sixteen you were so bad for me.