it was on a monday when I first saw you

you walked into the room and there it was..
the feeling I got when I first saw you was not right
I wanted to throw up, rip out my heart, cry
it made me feel miserable, you made me feel miserable
and that was the thing I always loved about you

it was love at first sight but you couldn't see it
or maybe I was just blind and you did see it

it was on a friday a year later when we kissed again
I didn't asked why you did it, why you kissed me
because when I looked into your eyes, I knew

you could never let go of me either
and for that moment that was enough for me
the feeling you wanted this to, maybe more than me
it always made me feel special, made me feel loved

and even today you can still make me feel miserable
but everytime you do that it never made me feel more alive

I know I ****** you up pretty boy
but let's be honest you did the same to me

so after all I think you did saw it, you saw me.

an emtional wreck
is what you can call me these days
tears touching the cold hard floor
thinking about our memories together

I'd wish my heart was smaller
that there was no room for you
it would make things so much easier

and maybe I was stupid
and all of this really was my fault
but you can't blame me for being in love with you
the truth is all I ever wanted was for you to like me
not because I am pretty just for who I am

when she was around him
the world began to open, it was something magical
every single little bird in the sky was singing
these were the melodies that I would never forget

and it is okay to be crazy in love with someone and to get hurt
and it is okay to cry your eyes out and to feel like an complete idiot
you are only seventeen, be dramatic, be angry, be dumb, be young

but please remember my little girl
you can't be broken forever, you need to get up
look into the sun and embrace the beauty of life
count all the stars in the universe and sleep on the grass
get way to drunk and party way to hard

be your beautiful self

because you are worth so much more
than just some ****** up, blue eyed badboy

remember last year and how ****** up everything was
well the mess we made back than didn't clean up itself

please step on my heart, break every single piece appart
burn the ashes of my soul till nothing is left

brainwash me and make me yours
use me like a doll, I will play along
treat me like Im not worth seeing the birds in the sky
and still I will be the person who is there for you at 3 am

everybody knew that we had to much fun
spending all my time with you talking about things I'd rather forget
things that didn't even matter when she was around him

the stars turning into different constellations tonight
and we both knew from that moment we kissed again
nothing could be the same anymore

maybe the world was in love with the idea of us being in love
and maybe at one point in my life I was in love with that too

I dont know what I want

the stars were out and I was crying
the universe was dark and everything around us was dying

I always told you I loved your blue eyes
but maybe I was lying.

I loved you more than you will ever know.

maybe one day you'll remember my name
you can scream it out of your broken window
but those memories we made won't fade away

the scars on your wrists and arms
will tell your kids the story of when you were young
how you felt back than and how ****** up the world was

this boy needed an escape
something so he could let go of his emotions
so he choose the way of blood and pain

and it worked, it was his way of surviving
and for me he still was the same beautiful boy

the lines on his arms formed a pattern of loneliness
the stripes on his wrists told me a story of darkness

everytime I close my eyes, I wish I could save him
his soul was haunting me and I couldn't be his hero

this time it will be me screaming your name