I think one of the most painful thing
Is to see the person you love,
Falling in love with someone else.
And all you can do is cry yourself to sleep.

Mahal, ikaw ba ay handa ng tanggapin ang aking pagsinta?

Mahal, maaari na ba natin hawakan ang kamay ng isa't isa?

Mahal, bakit tila may alinlangan sa iyong mga mata?

Ito ba ay dulot ng nakaraan hindi mo mabitawan?

Mahal, ikaw ang aking panalangin sa may Kapal.
Makasama ka sa bawat pagsikat at paglubog ng mga araw.
Sabay natin bibilangin ang mga tala at hihiling sa mga bulalakaw sa langit.

Mahal, ako ba ay hindi sapat sa para buuin ang puso **** sugatan?

Mahal, maari bang ang puso mo'y sa akin na lamang?

Mahal, handa ako maghintay na sana isang araw maging ako ang sagot sa iyong dasal.

Mali bang piliin mo ako sa gitna ng kaguluhan ito?
Mali nga ata.
Dahil sa gitna ng kaguluhan ng puso mo iba ang nakita mo.

Mali ba piliin mo ako?
Mali nga ata.
Dahil sa pagbabalik ng nakaraan mo nakalimutan mo ako.

Mali ba na minahal mo ako?
Mali nga ata.
Dahil ang bilis mo bitawan ako.

Mali ba sabihin ko sa sarili ko hindi na kita mahal?
Mali ata.
Dahil hanggang ngayon sumasakit pa din ang puso ko sa pagmamahal ko sau.

Mali ba na magalit ako sayo?
Mali ata.
Dahil sa likod ng masasakit n salita nabitawan ko, nais ko pa din sabihin mahal kita.

Mali ba na pakinggan ko sila?
Mali ata.
Dahil alam ng puso ko ano gusto ko.

Mali ba?
Mali ba lahat ng nasimulan natin?
Dahil kung oo, tang ina tadhana to.

bibitaw ako sa unang araw ng marso.
hindi dahil sa hindi na kita mahal,
ito ay dahil napagod na ang puso ko
napagod na itong magantay sa iyo.

bibitaw ako sa una araw ng marso,
pakiramdam ko ako ay isa studyante magtatapos sa kolehiyo
pero dito ang istorya natin  na kahit kailan ay hindi na masisimulan ang tatapusin ko.

bibitaw ako sa unang araw ng marso,
madaming buwan ang lumipas,
kumapit ako sa pagasa mapapansin mo ako.
mga araw na hinintay ko ang mga sagot mo
mga araw na napuyat ako kakaisip sa iyo.

bibitaw ako sa unang araw ng marso
at ang araw na iyon ay ngayon.

Like a cat,
I want to sleep all day,
On a soft sheet,
with you rubbing my back.

Like a cat,
I will call you with my sweet "meows",
When I feel sad.

Like a cat,
I want you to hear me purring on your ears,
That will send chills down your spine.

Like a cat,
I want to snuggle beside you,
When you are sleeping on a sofa.

Like a cat,
Please fogive me when I hurt you with my claws.
I just want to hold you near me.

Like a cat,
I may look like I don't care,
But I do understand you,
Every little bit of what you say.

Like a cat,
If you don't want me anymore,
Please don't throw me away.
Because your all that I have.

I looked at the woman in front of me,
I asked her, "How can you love me so deeply?"
She smiled at me.
A smile much brighter than any pearl I saw.
She answered, "because your from me. inside of me, you lived for 9 months."
And tears suddenly fall from my eyes.

"Isang stored card po."
Sabay abot ng 100piso.
Pinasok sa makina "toot".
Bumaba sa hagdan.
"Hay, nakakpagod."
Nakita ang mahabang pila ng mga taong nagaantay.
Napa-buntong hininga.
5...10...15minuto wala pa din.
Ako'y lumingon sa kanan't kaliwa.
Inobserbahan ang mga taong iritable na sa pagaantay.

Sa kaliwa, nakita ko ang isang lalaki,
Postura, nakasalamin at kagalang galang ang suot.
Mukha nagtatrabaho sa isang malakingkumapanya at may mataas na posisyon.
Abala sa pagtingin sa relos na rolex ang tatak.
Ako'y napatanong sa sarili ko,
"bakit niya mas piniling pumila dito kung saan malulukot ang suot na barong?"

Sa kanan naman ay isang studyanteng binata,
Naka-uniporme, maangas ang dating.
May naksaksak na earphones sa magkabilang tenga at sumasabay ang indak ng mga paa.
Nais ko sana makihati sa musikang kanya naririnig.

Sa likod ko ay isang babae,
Napapamura na sa inis.
Mukhang malalate na sa opisina.
Naka-make up at nakheels.
Gusto ko siya bulangan,
"Ate, kalma lang. Hindi mapapabilis ng pagmumura mo ang pagdating nian."

At sa wakas dumating na,
Ang hinihintay ng lahat.
Inihanda ko na ang sarili,
dahil sigurado ako ay maitutulak, masisiksik,
matatapakan at masisiko sa loob ng train ng MRT.

My bed was my bestfriend,
That's what I thought.
But, no. I am wrong.
It's laziness that's always with me,
Ever since I met my bed.

Vulnerable to sadness.

To doubt someone’s intentions
Of kindness.

Turn love into hatred.

It makes as hard and stiff
From people around us.

It isolates us from the reality
We blocked with our walls.

But pain also makes us stronger.

To love more ourself than others.

To see true intentions of someone beyond their smiles.

To love people around us deeper
Because we know the pain.

Pain is a weakness and strength in one weapon.

You can yield it as a sword
Or hold it like a shield.
It’s battle only you can decide on how you will win.

To love more or to be eaten by hate.

Para lang sa tabi,
Manong, ako'y may nakalimutan,
Pakitabi na lang sa tindahan ni aleng bebang.

Araw araw ikaw'y lagi sinusulyapan.
Sa likod mo ako'y lagi nagaabang.
Isang lingon mo lang araw ko'y nagkakakulay.

Isa kang bituin sa kalawakang walang ningning.
Komersyal sa tV na puro drama ang naririnig.
Hangin malamig sa tag-araw na sobrang init.

kaya para lang sa tabi,
Manong, ako'y may nakalimutan.
Pakitabi na lang sa tindhan ni aleng bebang.

"Iha, ano bang nakalimutan mo?" tanung ni Manong
"Puso ko po 'nong!" sagot ko.

Ako'y bumaba sa jeepney,
Tumakbo at ikaw ay hinanap,
Nakita ka ako'y bigla sumaya.

"Hoy, ikaw ibalik mo ang kinuha mo?" sabi ko.
Ngtaka at napakamot ka sa iyo ulo.
"Miss, nagkakamali ka ata." sagot mo habang ngumingiti sa akin.
"Paano ako magkakamali sa tao kumuha ng puso ko".

Ikaw'y ngumiti at ako'y nsilaw.
Doon ngsimula ang istorya natin dalawa,
na noon'y pinangarap-ngarap ko lamang.

A blank canvas in front of us,
An image of you with colors black and white.
As you walk along the path,
You will encounter different people that will add colors to your life.

Some would paint you yellow,
Like a sun beaming with a smile.
They will bring you warmth that you will never forget.

Blue like the ocean will come in your way,
A feeling of comfort and sense of calmness,
They will greet you with a wave that will hit you but would never hurt you.

Sometimes there will be gray that would cross your path.
Loneliness and sadness comes with them.
They are those who lost their way while trying to fill up the canvas of life.

Pink blooming like a flower on a field.
They best fit with things that glitter and spark.
You would see happiness in their eyes,
And wanted to keep them by your side.

An image of a strong and dependable man forms in my mind when I saw Brown.
Like earth I can stand, they will never let you down.

Green green grass dancing in the wind.
A suitable partner when your in need,
Someone to cry on and would never leave,
A true friend during thick or thin.


No, they will never let you get hurt,
Violets are like knights who never fails.
Tough like a wall but with a heart as soft as a foam.

My favorite color of all? Red.
A color that makes life such an interesting work of an art.
You may see Red in a different way.
Red, like a lover that left us.
Red, like the husband we pledge our love.
Red, for my first love.
Red, for the man I can never have.
Red, for the unconditional love of a mother.
Red, for the person I want to spend the rest of my life.

All this colors,
Once painted on the canvas of life,
Creates a beautiful portrait of you,
That nobody else can have.

And now I'm stuck
Which way? Left or right?
And since I can't decide
I am dropping them all, leaving nothing behind

Once a man quoted this lines.
At first I felt sad about it.
A forgotten being.

But then, one day I realized every
Bits of that lines shouted lies.
He’s not stuck.
Nor he doesn’t know the way.

He already decided and left with something in his hand.
The sadness I felt turn to hate.
No lies will stay forever hidden.
Nor truth will keep quiet all the time.

Now armed with what I know.
I therefore take my flight.
Leaving and not looking behind.
For this man deserves nothing
But be buried in his past.

I can feel the heat of the sun painfully in my arms,
But inside me,
My heart is pouring rain.

For some reason you wanted to be alone,
For some reason you wanted to walk a little further,
For some reason you alight the train one stop earlier than your destination,
For some reason you pass a road you never seen,
For some reason your sweating a lot,
For some reason you are lost in deep thoughts,
For some reason you crave for someone's presence,
For some reason you keep asking  yourself "why" ,
But you can't figure it out.

Have you ever felt so alone  that even the stars above the sky hides behind the clouds?

Have you ever wonder where you should belong when  you are home but your heart is lost?

Have you ever asked why they can’t hear you when you never stop speaking?

Dear, look at me.
Now, look into the mirror.

Do you love that reflection in front of you?
If not,  then I tell you this.
Above anyone else,
You should love that person in front of you.

Every scar.
Every bits.
Every pain.

Love all of them.
When you started to love yourself,
Everything will fall into places.

Minahal,
Pinaasa,
Binitiwan,
Tinulak,
Bumalik,
Hinabol,
Nahulog,
Nasaktan,
Iniwan.

Mga salitang tinuro sa atin noong kabataan,
Ngayon mga salitang atin iniiwasan.
Minsan ako'y magtatanong,

Anong pagkukulang ko?
Bakit iniwan mo ako?
Saan ako nagkamali?
Paano ko maibabalik?

Hinihintay ko mula sa iyo,
Sabihin **** "Nagkamali ako",
Pero ang nakita ko'y mga luha mo,
Hinihingi ang pagpapatawad ko.

Sana hindi na lang,
Sana wala na lang,
Sana umiwas na lang,
Mga sana na hindi ko pinakinggan,
Ngayon ako'y luhaan.

Pero isang bagay ang hindi ko pinagsisihan,
Ang mga masasayang bagay na ating pinagasamahan,
Mananatili sa puso ko na parang mga litrato,
Lumain man ng panahon ay babalik balikan ko.

Pinasaya,
Pinakilig,
Pinatawa,
Pinangiti.

I love the sea,
The waves as it hits the sand,
The calming effect of the blue waters.
The salty taste.

Then, I realize.
It taste like our tears.
Salty.

Is it because creatures live there
Also cry?

We are strangers in the daylight.
Lovers in the moonlight.

We seek the darkness to
Fulfill our love.

We hate the light that separates us

We know love is a btch.
But we keep fckin with it
Until we perish.

Shake, shake, my heart is shaking
Uh-oh what is with feeling?
Shake, shake, my heart is pounding
I don’t understand a thing.

That night I waited for you outside.
My heart is shaking.
Slowly, you came to me.
In your wheels, you smiled at me.

Shake, shake, my heart is shaking.
I was excited to see you.
My friend and my brother.
But, no no no.
Why am I shaking?

Gently, you put the helmet on my head.
As if I’m a child who doesn’t know a thing.
I sat behind your back,
Hold at your shoulders.

Shake, shake, my heart is shaking.
As you start the motor,
Wind to our faces.
I smiled. I smiled again after all the pain.

Shake, shake, my heart is shaking.
As you hold my hand to help me go down,
I saw not just my friend, but a man.
A man who I respect and a brother who I treasure.

Shake, shake, my heart is shaking.

Mali ng sinabi ko ayos lang ako.
Habang unti unting kinakain ng kalungkutan ang puso ko.

Sa isang madilim na sulok
Madalas ako umuupo.
Mga anino nagpapalakas
Sa imahinasyon ko.

Nilalakasan ko ang tugtog sa radyo.
Pinipilit mabingi sa mga kantang
Nilalabanan ang bulong ng hindi ninyo nakikitang nilalang.

Tama na.
Tumigil na kayo.
Bakit ako.
Pinapaalis ko sila.
Pero ayaw nila tumahimik.

Tapusin mo na.
Tumalon ka na.
Lagi nila binubulong ang mga salitang yan sa akin.
Gising man ako o tulog.

Sino ba sila?

Parang ulan na pumapatak,
Mga luha sa iyong mata'y tagaktak,
Gusto ko man itong punasan,
Dahil ikaw ay sinaktan,
Sa taong pinili mo,
Akala mo'y hindi ka iiwan.

Minsan ikaw'y lumapit sa akin,
Tinanong kung anong tingin,
Sa babae sa malayo nakaupo,
Na tila diwata sa iyong puso.

Pinilit ko ngumiti,
Tinago ng pilit,
Mga luha nagbabantang mahulog,
Dahil ang puso ko'y nadurog.

Umaasa isang araw ako'y masilayan,
Kahit kaunti sulyap lang ako'y maliligahayan,
Ngunit tila totoo nga,
Ang sinabi ng matatanda,
"Kung para sa'yo iha, ito'y kusang lalapit."

Kaya ngyon akin mahal,
Ikaw'y aking iiwan,
Pupunta sa kawalan,
Kung saan ang puso ko'y doon daan,
Para mahanap ang tunay na ligaya,
Sa piling ng iba.

Giving up?
Its not actually included in my vocabulary.
Until you suddenly push me on a cliff.
I hang on.
Waiting for you to pull me up.
But you just look at me from above.
You were crying.
Whispering something I can't hear.
Yet as I look into you lips.
I read the words you want to say.
"Let me go. Move on."
That's when "giving up" became a part of my life and those words and you would always be synonyms in my life.

When the mouth disconnected with the heart blades are form on the end of the tongue.
The sharpness that knows no bounderies creating wounds that are hard to heal.
The mouth doesn’t realize that the heart is missing.
And the heart was muted from the world.
Late at night, when the workd turns dark and  the mouth closed
The heart will speak.
Voiceless but can be heard.
The vessel  felt a deep pang of pain in the heart.
Blaming the mouth for the blades it created.
Regrets will flood.
Tears will fall.
The vessel wanted to shut the mouth forever.
Thinking of a way, the vessel locked herself in a room with no one except her.
She told both the mouth and the vessel her plan.
To avoid the blades from hurting people she loves,
The vessel decided to create a distance.
An unseen distance.
This makes the heart sad, but the vessel cannot think of any other way.
The home she created is being destroyed by her own mouth.
She was scared.
She was hopeless.
She cried.
Wanted to call for help.
But the wound was to deep.
That not even she can bear it.
The vessel wanted to end everything.
She wanted to shut up forever.
Not wanting to lose anymore what she have now.
-END-

This time my intentions are pure.
This time my feelings are true.
This time my heart is sure.

But, this time you're not here anymore.

I have thousands of regrets
In my twenty six years of living.

I’ve got thousands of words
I cannot utter in public.

I have thousands of emotions
I cannot contain inside me anymore.

Thousands and thousands of them
That I cannot count anymore .

Today, you left me again.
Alone in this dusty roads.
You know how much I want to cry?
That the very person I wanna be with,
Doesn't care for me a bit.

Today, I realize I am not your priority.
When you are always on my top list.
I waited for you to call my name,
But you never did.

Today, I was so hurt.
That I just want to runaway from you.
From all the memories with you.
Because everytime I think you of I'm slowy fading away.


Today, I want to say to you "I really wanted to hate you, but I love you."

If you see me with somebody else,
Would you care?
If you see me holding other guy's hand,
Would you get jealous?
If you see me happy with someone else,
Would you get hurt?
If you see me kissing a different lips,
Would you get angry?

I asked all those questions to myself,
All my answers are Yes.
And if by chance you said No,
Then, I think its time to say Good bye,
To the man I thought you are.

Just like a leaf,
blown away by the wind.
everything I love about you,
is gone by a blink.

..where did my man go?
Replaced by a childish boy,
whinning every little bit in life.
An inconsiderate fool,
who care less about others.

...where did my love go?
Somewhere deep in you heart,
you buried a treasure I hold dear in my life.
The man I adore so much,
now trapped in a stone heart.

...how can I save you my dear?
when all you do is push me away.
I tried to climb up your walls,
but you made it higher for me to fall.

I still love you, yes I do.
But, I'm tired.
Tired of chasing after you,
when all you do is run and hide from me.

I'll just wait for you to comeback.
To look back and find me not there at your back.
I hope you wouldn't take so much time,
because my heart might forget,
as time eats our memories away,
all the beautiful things we created.

I can taste the bitterness
At the end of my tongue.

A pang of sadness
Suddenly hits me.

I feel my heart
Cringe in pain.

Not a feeling of lost love
But a feeling of losing myself.

In a process of changing myself
From someone who is desirable.

I turned into someone who is unwanted.

Every path feels like
I'm walking in thorns.

I was unwanted from the start
In a place I should never be.

Little by little,
You will find pieces of me
Scattered on our floor.
Bits of me that was shattered
And broken.

I am badly hurt.
Today, yesterday and the previous days.
You look at me with disgust,
Makes me wish I was never born.

I wanted to swap places with those
Other child of yours that died
Due to miscarriage.

Maybe they will be much better daugther than I am.
Maybe you won't hate their attitude.
Maybe you would care more about them, than me.

I was your least favorite.
I was at the bottom.
I knew that since I was young.

You said I was strong.
You said I am intimidating.
Yes I am.
Cause I don't have any shoulders to lean on when I need to cry.

I make myself strong on the outside
For people not to know how much I struggle inside.

But, I'm slowly dying.
Little by little.

Tired.
I’m getting tired for shallow reasons.
Feels like the soil has tentacles
And it’s pulling me down.
Beneath the cold ground.

Bury me.
Bury my entire body.
Let it numb.
Let my soul be eaten by eternal darkness.

No, don’t save me.
I want to be there.
Lifeless body.
Souless.
Numb.

Let no light in.
It stings when it hits me.
Don’t touch me.
Your warmth will make me alive.

Let my skin be cold as the snow.
Let my lips turn to pale blue.
Let my eyes turn white.
Let my body devour every last drop of my blood.

What if we became a little honest?
Would it be different?

What if we tried to work it out?
Are we still together?

What if we never let go?
Can we be happy?

All those what ifs, will remain in the past.
All the answers will be left hanging.

We silently intertwined our hands,
You from the south,
I'm from the north.

It's summer when we meet.
Were dasies sways with the wind.
You are me.
And I am you.

But, when winter came
You left like a blizzard.
All is left is nothingness.
Colors fade and turn to white.