my problems are too much
how can i bother
to celebrate
new year?

not just only tell me
to stop hating my body
teach me
how to do it
saying is easy than doing

i prepare everything of
what to do
when i'm in pain
but when pain knocks
on the door
i forget every plan

self-harming your body
is not going
to end
the
pain

i hated my body
but today i realized
that hate was never emerged
from my heart
it was the insecurity of others
they sprinkled it like salt on me
to feel superior
and what a stupid soul i was
just to fit in small size
i hated my curves
like i wasn't meant to be pretty
as the standards were to small
for my double XL size