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 Apr 2014 Lauren Marie
Liam
Integrity over Popularity
Mystique over Physique
Wisdom over Education
Spontaneous over Meticulous
Patience over Anxious
Peace over Pace
Grace over Face
Elation over Frustration
Spiritualism over Materialism
Honesty over Secrecy
Passion over Fashion
Honey over Money
Poetic over Pedantic
Relaxivity over Productivity
Attitude over Pulchritude
Gaiety over Propriety
Intuition over Sophistication
Intimacy over Privacy
Devotion over Ambition
&
Love over Everything

~ *For my best friend, Piglet
<3 ~
 Apr 2014 Lauren Marie
Liam
that we exist
that we are whole
that we are worthy
that we are accepted
that we are respected
that we are connected
that we are appreciated
that we are of consequence

that we even matter at all...
I broke again today.
Mind caged behind emotions
Not of my making,
Not of my choosing.

The tempest whipped up
By foreign deities
Which reside inside
Whom do not mask their hate.

I cry out for your help
Even as I strike your hand
When you reach for me.

Yet you stand resolute
In the wake of my broken fury,
Birthing new love within me
As I find strength in numbers
For I am no longer alone.
There are many books adorning my library
Every stack placed painstakingly
All your names feature in my catalogue
I know you by names and can recall every rendezvous
Each one of you have given me a new perspective
Sitting at the corner of my library, I have seen the world
Everyone of you have opened up to me
So that I could decipher the true meaning behind every words
Every picture registered in the canvas of my mind
I turned every page like an eager child
All of you have been my true companion
No matter the seasons and the year
I always looked at my collection with pride
Every one of you donning an interesting cover
From cover to cover, the pages sleeping in silence
Waiting for me to uncover with love, the way of the world
Every one of you had a different creator, who sacrificed you
It is such a sacrificial ritual for a writer, to reach out to readers like me
It pains them not, but is proud to depart with their possession
Filling you with all the tales and explanations of various themes
Through the centuries, books are a playing a vital role
It’s an art how you read them; read between the lines to decipher the true meaning
Now, I stand proudly in front of the shelves, which showcases my wealth
All of you are not part of a collection, but my friends forever…
The smell of my mother
was
Cigarette smoke of cigs targeted towards independent women
was
Perfume of a woman too old to accept the fact that she's aging
was
Clothes from the early 90s and mid 80s which all smelled the same
was
Skin which smelled yellow from her habits
was
Breath which smelled the same
was
Red lipstick
was
Hair dye
was
Lies.
 Apr 2014 Lauren Marie
Liam
they say a watched *** never boils
but my mind certainly does
and i watch it all the time
it's never out of my sight
yet it's constantly spilling its contents
in a roiled turmoil
all over my consciousness

the result is a reduction
of my state of mind
of my perspective
either a concentrated awareness
or a flavorless sludge of grey matter
it all depends on the heat applied
it all depends on evaporation

a proper chef would be attentive
a saucier of good stock
choosing quality ingredients
maintaining a simmer
avoiding a seethe
controlling condensation
distilling even pabulum to perfection
 Apr 2014 Lauren Marie
Nomad
You are part,
of a generation
one that is great, mighty, powerful, strong.
Fearful.
Near the top, the apex, but not yet there,
we've poisoned ourselves, from the ground we stand,
to the much needed air.
If...no, when, we survive our first few years,
just think, it really was worth the first  months of tears.

Now think of the times, we've fallen,
so that we could just stand,
do you remember, the effort it took,
the damning demand?

Now think of the times you've bumped, fallen,
scraped your ****** knee,
how bout that times ran your bike through the yard, up the street,
and forgot to watch where you ran, into that stupid tree.

The times you thought you were invincible,
powerful and mighty,
you knew you were right, though your moods were rather,
flighty.

And now your here, the ranks have become a little thinner,
everyone's competing for something
to be an ultimate winner.
They want to stand on top, just as you have once,
they don't want to die,
because their a dunce.
They think they're smart, or strong, or whatever,
to think it mattered once, only that it never.

You're a survivor,
you have to fight to live,
barbed wires, to picket fences,
you've put up walls, behind more defenses.
So let me tell you something my friend.
As you crawl your way up to the top,
watch where you leap,
or you'll just end up a flop.

You're a survivor,
a light unto the rest,
you're living proof my friend,
that you're able to pass the test.

Show them your mettle,
your battle scars,
show them what your made of,
that there's no limit, not even the stars.
Show them the dents in your tested armor and shields,
show them the power of love and understanding, both of which you wield.

Show them what it's like,
what it's like to fall and fly,
help your comrades up,
tell them.
It's do. Or die.

Because you're a survivor.
 Apr 2014 Lauren Marie
Nomad
Black and white
Two simple colors
black and white
to take in or reflect, all the others.
That's what it is, scientifically.
But nothing really ever is,
as so definitely.

But black and white.
So simple and clean.
You know what happens,
you know what they mean!

Wrong and right,
ying, yang,
the left, the other left,
and the mute that sang.

Black and white,
simple to me, and maybe for you.
But give me gray...
well, I'm not exactly sure what to do.

Give me 50 shades,
and see what comes next.
A puzzled face followed by horror and shock,
don't mind me, that's just reflex.

Grey area,
they say to me,
and that's got me shaking,
shaking in my knees.

Just give me black and white.
Something I see clear.
Simplicity in all its complex rhyme and rhythm,
a clean simple answer, that's all I hold dear.
 Apr 2014 Lauren Marie
Rl
Ostracized
 Apr 2014 Lauren Marie
Rl
Do you ever feel like you just don't fit in

to all the cracks and cliques

that society puts you in.

Or do you ever slightly fear being fully yourself,

scared of the raised eyebrows and curious eyes

that
dig
dig
dig into your timid soul..

I try and solve this by putting up walls made of paper

that slowly turn to concrete, a roof, a cave, a den, a house,

away away on a hill side,

so that they can't get in or smell or see

the beast that they've made of me.

For they love to toss me two and fro
with words and chatter. Vulchers * of
*'Why do you look, talk, dress like that'

There mouths like open caves I can see there teeth,
rotten and decaying.
Graves stones.

I don't want to explain
I don't want to talk
I walk away alone
and peer through windows
watching them silently turn to stone,
mannequins of each other
letting my spirit grow.

-

To me it means sacrifice
to hide who I am
never
For I'll find people
who know and understand

what its like to be
ostracized
beaten,
battered,
and
killed over and over again,

all for just wanting to live,
for just wanting to be human.

People forget we are all human.
Just a draft. Will probably redo most of it, but needed to get this out. I'm sick to death of people being battered and bullied for who they are. And this poem doesn't skim the surfaces but I want to just say if your going through any of the **** mentioned keep going. Hold you head so high you cannot see the evil below. I could say more but its 4 mins to midnight and I have college tomorrow.
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