theres a bitter little parasite
eating through my brain
keeping me from happiness
driving me insane

theres a soothing breeze
sweeping through my bed
and for the first time in forever
i cant feel my head

The flutter of my brain
is driving me insane
I can’t stop thinking
brain waves shaking
the electric feel
the forever turning wheel
my thoughts pinging the back of my eyes
like butterflies
a heartbeat
i despise

You smell the same,
as you did,
the first time I hugged you,
and you gripped me tight.

You smell the same,
as you did,
when your dad died,
and I held you,
told you it would be alright.

You smell the same,
as you did,
when you punched a hole in your wall,
you couldn't feel my touch,
but I had to watch over Skype.

You smell the same,
as you did,
when you lost all control,
hit a tree on ecstasy,
going 40 over,
in the middle of the night.

You smell the same,
as you did,
in the hospital bed,
foggy in the head,
I held your hand,
the only part of you,
that wasn't broken,
in sight.

You smell different,
this time,
I don't know where you were,
but with your smell gone,
so is the light.

your lips are heavy
like the sea
crashing waves
heavy words
every splash every syllable
i cherish

your eyes are bright
but murky
mysterious like your feelings
like your meaning
you're hard to figure out
but once ive got you
ive got you

your smile
is energizing
when i am the reason your lips part
and your imperfectly perfect teeth shine through
i feel like I've won
but no trophy
no award
no certificate
just the gratification
of your love

your arms
hold me tight
when i feel alone
you squeeze harder
and before the air fills my lungs once again
i am overwhelmed
with your voice
a whisper
telling me
“im here”

your chest
broad and encompassing
swallows my fragile form whole
and before i am aware of what has happened
a warmth
covers me
the echo of your heart thumping
in my head
lulls me to bed
and before i lose the daylight behind my eyes
i thank god
you are mine

If shivering burns calories,
this winter was a workout.

I am the leaf,
shivering in the sun,
surrounded by those like me,
trying to find myself,
in a sea of anonymity,
before a swift kick in the face does it for me.