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 Jun 2016 Lachrymose and Lies
k
and actually
the reason I don't know anything
is because you don't know anything
because if you did know
then I would know
I would know so well
But I don't want to be the only one that knows,
you know?
I don't thank you,
I never have,
I'm six thousand seven hundred and eight eight days old
and I've never once'd stop to say thank you,
I had a good day today, and I realized ( far too late)
that I often have good days,
days where the sun shines
days where the wind is fine
days where I can take my time,
and smile
yet I've never thanked you,

i exist because of some unknown force, or maybe science, or maybe god
but Ill never know, and so I've never stopped to say hello,
and today I finished  a terrifying assessment,
and today wasn't that bad
so I've stopped to thank you
I don't ask for anything in return,
all I ask is to help others learn
that each day I open my eyes, is a gift from someone who might never materialize, and though you might not hear me, and though you might not exist,
thank you strange force,
I'm so happy I exist
just thank the air around you every now and then, we are lucky to be where we are, no matter where we are, poor, rich, happy, sad,
the fact you even exist is amaizing, so even though their might be no one there,
whats the harm in thanking the air?
I was stranded with you on an island
It was a good stranded cause I loved you a lot
I was handed you like a bride
It was a good marriage cause I loved you a lot

And may we never get rescued
May we always stay here just us two
and may we never get rescued
May we stay married just us two

We couldn't have what we wanted
but now we can have it all
And no need to feel haunted
Being stranded isn't our fault

We should have each other forever
Instead of staying apart when were together
We have the rest of our lives to spend here
And i dont believe we should spend them apart
I see beauty in every step I make,
this world has robbed us of the right,
to see with my own god given gift of sight.
no trust in my reality
only laugh at whats on the computer's screen,
I see beauty in every cobble, in every drunken wobble,
I watch the street lights glow pass through the trees that shelter below
I see the homemade art hanging on your mantle, through the window left ajar so that winters sounds may visit,
and I see the world spinning on its axis, the Pre-printed clouds scrolling past me like a news feed,

green grass and the smell of mud,  the wind disturbs trees that shed leaves as if they where a grand lady, shedding tears to some offensive gesture

the beauty in life is not in screens,
the beauty does not hide behind great outings
the beauty does not rest, it does not settle, it is neither here nor their,

the beauty of life is around us, at every moment,
in every moment.
it just takes time to learn to see
although theirs nothing wrong with social media, after all this platform is in itself social media, theirs more to life, there will allways be moments you miss and things you dont see
but the things you do see will never stop to make me smile,
have a good day x
Pretty hair, pretty eyes, pretty face with pretty lies.
No one knows the pain,
They say us as young ones can't experience pain,
But they don't know,
Everyday is a struggle,
Shedding invisible tears,
Well at least those i can't hold back anymore.

It's hard enough already living life without knowing who you are,
But even harder lying to yourself about it.
I swear one day i will cry without stopping,
Or maybe it's too late for that now.

Everyday i come around friends,
Smiling, it's a fixed expression.
I go home and sing the pain away or make a poem,
Without talking about the pain.


                                                         ­                                 Jonesy  ©
Bite One
What are you doing?!
You know you're on a diet!
Don't eat that!
Bite Two
OH MY GOD.
That last bight could've just made another official pound
Bite Three
Don't think just eat!
Bite Four
Bites Five
Bite Six
Bite Seven
Etcetera.

Purge One
What am I doing?
Google said this is a mental disorder
Purge Two
Mental disorder or not you're still fat!
Do something about it.
Purge Three
The acid is burning my throat...
No more.
Purge Four
Keep going until it's all gone!
Purge Five
Am I ever going to be skinny?

You see,
They call me, "thick thighs, nice eyes."
I call me, "stretch marks bigger than a kind man's heart"
And...
I know that when I'm skinny this will all fade.
Because I know that, the girl across the room is laughing because of my fat face.
And I know that, that boy is saying that he'd never date me because my fat is a disgrace.
And for now...
I'm not thin enough
Not pretty enough
Not light enough
Not bright enough
But every time I purge I'm closer to being perfect enough
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